It's an odd feeling, being so torn between so many reactions. Laughing or defensiveness or annoyance and the feelings between. It's kind of like how everyone insists she's a fertility goddess except in the most crass form of it, making a joke of something that still stings. She flops back on the sand dramatically, arms sprawled above her head.

"It's not like it was my idea--and it's not the--okay it kind of is, but- UGH! It was all my mom's idea and it felt like the only way to get out from under her thumb! And then she ruined that too and I probably ruined it so it's not like I'll end up an eternal maiden anyways. I just haven't actually like--left it yet. Or told them. Or paid them back for my scholarship."

She pauses, "Am I your friend or not, you coward."