In any other situation, Inigo may have regretted saying those words right away. Regretted saying too much, seeming too weak, when he isn't allowed to be - when he can't be, no matter what he's endured these past few days, no matter how much he feels like he's at the end of his rope. But it's very hard to do so in the light of Roland's reaction. Even though Inigo said something that feels so shameful, Roland doesn't judge him. It's the exact opposite.. he remains so calm and gentle as he's always been, even now. Even though - a few moments ago - he looked just about as lost as Inigo feels now too.
So the boy stays quiet, giving the other time to think. Inigo just sits there, still, letting Roland kneel in front of him and touch his head.
And then those words crash over him. But it's not violent - more like a soft wave upon the warm sand of the island. Like a blanket being thrown over him.
Okay, son?
Inigo stares for a second, but then he's moving. With Roland kneeling in front of him like that, it's so very easy to just slightly throw himself forward, wrapping his arms around Roland's shoulders until he's clinging to the other tightly. Overcome with emotion, Inigo buries his face against the other's shoulder.
"Roland.." His voice is almost more a squeak, and despite how much he's already been crying these past few days, Inigo feels some new tears slipping out of his eyes all the same.
It's just too much. It's like Roland is saying the exact things Inigo has wanted to hear for so, so long. Even though he never resented anyone for his fate - not his father, whose death only left behind a hellscape for them, nor his sister, who always tried to make sure he was prepared for their circumstances and wouldn't sugarcoat things for him - it was still so hard. Pretending he was okay. That he could bear everything by himself. That he was strong.
He wasn't, Inigo thinks. He's never been. All this time, he's just been waiting for someone to tell him it's okay. That they'll be with him no matter what, and that it'll all be okay. That he doesn't have to carry it all by himself.
"Thank you.. thank you so much.." It's like he has trouble even speaking, still clinging onto Roland for dear life. The feeling that wells up within him is just too overwhelming to put into words. "I-- I won't get sick of you. Ever. I'm only.. only so grateful that you're by my side here.."
Even if he'll have to go home one day to a battle against a dragon that might take his life, to a future he doesn't belong in, at least Inigo will have had this.
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So the boy stays quiet, giving the other time to think. Inigo just sits there, still, letting Roland kneel in front of him and touch his head.
And then those words crash over him. But it's not violent - more like a soft wave upon the warm sand of the island. Like a blanket being thrown over him.
Okay, son?
Inigo stares for a second, but then he's moving. With Roland kneeling in front of him like that, it's so very easy to just slightly throw himself forward, wrapping his arms around Roland's shoulders until he's clinging to the other tightly. Overcome with emotion, Inigo buries his face against the other's shoulder.
"Roland.." His voice is almost more a squeak, and despite how much he's already been crying these past few days, Inigo feels some new tears slipping out of his eyes all the same.
It's just too much. It's like Roland is saying the exact things Inigo has wanted to hear for so, so long. Even though he never resented anyone for his fate - not his father, whose death only left behind a hellscape for them, nor his sister, who always tried to make sure he was prepared for their circumstances and wouldn't sugarcoat things for him - it was still so hard. Pretending he was okay. That he could bear everything by himself. That he was strong.
He wasn't, Inigo thinks. He's never been. All this time, he's just been waiting for someone to tell him it's okay. That they'll be with him no matter what, and that it'll all be okay. That he doesn't have to carry it all by himself.
"Thank you.. thank you so much.." It's like he has trouble even speaking, still clinging onto Roland for dear life. The feeling that wells up within him is just too overwhelming to put into words. "I-- I won't get sick of you. Ever. I'm only.. only so grateful that you're by my side here.."
Even if he'll have to go home one day to a battle against a dragon that might take his life, to a future he doesn't belong in, at least Inigo will have had this.