He hates that calm, cool, collected questioning. It has no place in his growing frustration; it's too familiar, like he's in a spat with Auron, but it's never really a with. It's just him, always, the one being unreasonable. The one too emotional, the one who can never argue his point.

Tidus stops the pace, searching in him for his answer, his reason. An old spark of deceit returning in him that showed itself when he spoke to Taiki. Trying to make him hate him. And if he really wanted Roland to know why he deserved it, and why Tidus knew he didn't deserve any of this trust of responsibility put onto him--

He turns to Roland, looking at him, hard-faced and with hands clenched.

"I left everyone in Zanarkand to die. I knew it was gonna happen." He doesn't look away, trying to burn the revelation in with the weight it deserved. "I didn't try and save them. I didn't look for another way! I just worried about me-- and I let us all die!"

But as he goes on, he can't keep it controlled, the emotion rising higher; the truth of what's even been eating at him. I never tried. I never talked about it. I was scared. I didn't know what else to do--

His fists tremble.