The whole time Roland talks, Inigo watches him. He doesn't avert his gaze anymore, instead staring Roland straight in the eyes, even with the tears still lingering in his own. Even though the emotion is still so strong within him, he's quiet. And he listens, trying to make sure to really take in what Roland is saying rather than dismiss him. It's Roland, after all. He wouldn't tell him anything he didn't believe in.
Even though it feels hard to believe. That letting other people support you actually makes you stronger, when Inigo has believed all his life that he needed to hurry up and learn how to be more independent. To prove that he can stand on his own and not fall behind others. But he's trying, he really is.
And then Roland arrives at that final question, even before Inigo can say anything about anything else.
"I.." Inigo starts, then falls quiet. Roland looks so serious about this that Inigo wants to make sure to think about it, to give a serious answer in turn.
Because the answer isn't so simple. Inigo has never been a violent person by nature. Not even a competitive one - his fear of falling behind has much more to do with the disappointment it may cause in others than any natural desire to be ahead of the flock. He only became a warrior by force, because there was no other choice. Light feet for dancing and nimble hands for crafting turned into tools of combat. So there's no natural urge to beat Reno, but..
"To be honest, right now I'm dreading seeing him on the train so much.." Even though he wasn't afraid of Reno at first. But it's just that the other will be able to hold some very specific things over his head right now. His weakness. His inability to protect anyone important to him. Inigo isn't sure he can be confronted with that when he's already feeling like this now. "But I-- I don't want to live like that. I really do want to be strong enough to stand up to him. So people won't have to worry about me anymore. And so he can't hurt anyone else either."
It's not about Inigo. It never is. It's not about his fears, or his worries. It's about other people getting hurt by Reno too, either indirectly through worries about him, or directly.
"I can't just sit still after what he did to you." Calling Roland names. Trying to hurt Roland. Not Roland. Not his father.
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Even though it feels hard to believe. That letting other people support you actually makes you stronger, when Inigo has believed all his life that he needed to hurry up and learn how to be more independent. To prove that he can stand on his own and not fall behind others. But he's trying, he really is.
And then Roland arrives at that final question, even before Inigo can say anything about anything else.
"I.." Inigo starts, then falls quiet. Roland looks so serious about this that Inigo wants to make sure to think about it, to give a serious answer in turn.
Because the answer isn't so simple. Inigo has never been a violent person by nature. Not even a competitive one - his fear of falling behind has much more to do with the disappointment it may cause in others than any natural desire to be ahead of the flock. He only became a warrior by force, because there was no other choice. Light feet for dancing and nimble hands for crafting turned into tools of combat. So there's no natural urge to beat Reno, but..
"To be honest, right now I'm dreading seeing him on the train so much.." Even though he wasn't afraid of Reno at first. But it's just that the other will be able to hold some very specific things over his head right now. His weakness. His inability to protect anyone important to him. Inigo isn't sure he can be confronted with that when he's already feeling like this now. "But I-- I don't want to live like that. I really do want to be strong enough to stand up to him. So people won't have to worry about me anymore. And so he can't hurt anyone else either."
It's not about Inigo. It never is. It's not about his fears, or his worries. It's about other people getting hurt by Reno too, either indirectly through worries about him, or directly.
"I can't just sit still after what he did to you." Calling Roland names. Trying to hurt Roland. Not Roland. Not his father.