It's hard to tell though. How you feel.

[ Alice says it first, but then realises it's not really the most clear way to word things. So her eyebrows momentarily knit together as she has to contemplate how to explain this. ]

.. right away, I mean. Usually you don't realise how much growing up that way messes you up until you're much older. Doing these sorts of things can have a huge effect on you.