[ Jiang Cheng's first instinct is, without hesitation, the urge to shake his head - so he does, eyes almost painfully wide. It doesn't make sense for a man who measures himself against others and has done for practically his entire life, feeling burdened by things that are far beyond his reach, beyond anything that he can wrap his mind around.

Lan Xichen makes it sound so easy, so simple, a checklist of things that are just what he had to do. There was no merit to them when there was no other option, surely. ]

I didn't lose any more than anyone else. Everyone suffered in the Campaign, Lan Xichen! And a-Jie and Wei Wuxian lost the same as I did. [ And no one had criticised them, no one had scolded them, other than Wei Wuxian's typical rudeness. He was the one who was talked about, talked over, shouted at, cornered in conferences and political talks, feeling out of his depth with no one to help or guide him.

He was the one who had never been good enough. ]

Anyone could have rebuilt Lotus Pier, couldn't they? If Yanli had gone back people would have followed her. Jin Zixuan would have helped her. Why...

[ His eyes flicker over Lan Xichen's face, drinking him in, almost drowning in the words he's saying as if they're some kind of terrifying gift. ]

I was never allowed to make a mistake. What right do I have to claim them now?