"Well you already know I'm an idiot so I have to say it all to hear my own head rattle." He has to turn it into a little bit of a joke, the subject matter just too heavy to bear. The guilt there is real, and he has to acknowledge it, even if it's not a driving force. It's always there.
He pauses then, knowing the other elephant in the room that he should address.
"As for uh... What Mito was sayin' out in the open. I never said more to her than what I said to you." Except that he was afraid of taking risks. Why? Because of what exactly happened.
"I just like your company. And I liked it a lot quicker than I like a lotta people's. I like runnin' over plans and intel with ya. I like listenin' to ya talk about your people an' family all proud. I like your sense of humor. I like when I can pick-pocket a little sneak of a smile out of ya ever' once in a while. I like them little annoyed looks. Not real annoyed, just them littluns." Again, he has to ease into some light ribbing. "I don't expect nothin'. An' I know you don't look for people likin' ya in any way. But ya didn't do nothin' special an' you managed it so... Sorry. I reckon."
And there, that's enough. He's bled out enough for one day, enough that his chest is sick with it so he needs to put his heart back in there. "Just take it as someone sayin' somethin' nice to ya. I'll set Mito right what when I speak with her again." Can he slip a lie by her if he skews his emotions enough? Maybe. Possibly.
no subject
He pauses then, knowing the other elephant in the room that he should address.
"As for uh... What Mito was sayin' out in the open. I never said more to her than what I said to you." Except that he was afraid of taking risks. Why? Because of what exactly happened.
"I just like your company. And I liked it a lot quicker than I like a lotta people's. I like runnin' over plans and intel with ya. I like listenin' to ya talk about your people an' family all proud. I like your sense of humor. I like when I can pick-pocket a little sneak of a smile out of ya ever' once in a while. I like them little annoyed looks. Not real annoyed, just them littluns." Again, he has to ease into some light ribbing. "I don't expect nothin'. An' I know you don't look for people likin' ya in any way. But ya didn't do nothin' special an' you managed it so... Sorry. I reckon."
And there, that's enough. He's bled out enough for one day, enough that his chest is sick with it so he needs to put his heart back in there. "Just take it as someone sayin' somethin' nice to ya. I'll set Mito right what when I speak with her again." Can he slip a lie by her if he skews his emotions enough? Maybe. Possibly.