It's not so much that he doesn't want anyone to know. He has cried before. Often. This feels beyond this, he truly believes if he starts to cry he won't stop, he will drown in tears and perhaps drown Jingyi with him.

But Jingyi is insistent and Jingyi is his friend. He trusts him. He reached out, taking his hands and then fell fowards onto his chest, taking deep breaths.

"I don't want to believe it, even though I saw it with my own eyes." He whispers.