Jema'grethy: Memory Cave

[voidtreckermods]

Passengers see a vision, an instance of someone's life, before just as suddenly - they find themselves inside a cave. It is light, a strange moss glowing on the walls and ceiling illuminates the cave nicely, and it is large enough for them to pace around in without trouble.

They're not alone. In the cave with them is another voidtrecker; maybe someone they know well, or maybe someone they've only seen in the aisles of the train. But they are together in this cave, and they will come to find out that it was one of their memories that the other witnessed. And them, one of yours.

The cave has no exit, at least not yet. They know that it will, eventually. When the time is right.

But for that time to come, they first must talk...

(OOC: Memories can be written either in this post or over here)

Comments

[fennu]

The shaking is enough to let him know just how upset she is, how hurt she is, and while there is definitely an anger inside of him about what was revealed to her his concern is on her as it stands. He wants to make sure that she is alright, that she isn't going to break if she doesn't want to - and if she does he will take care of her.

His hand holds her gently, rubbing against her back, trying to be comforting.

"It was almost twenty years ago. I don't think about it as often."

That doesn't mean he doesn't think about it; nightmares are ever-present, there is no denying that. The notion of him simply forgetting is impossible - but, on the other hand, there is agony enough in Jiang Cheng's life that it is inescapable.

He breathes out, trying to reign in his empathy so they do not cross over one another.

"I know how you feel. It's alright."

[happyends]

"But I.."

She stammers, repeating that 'I' a few times, like she doesn't even know what she wants to say here. All she knows is that she doesn't want Jiang Cheng to have to be sad about any of this, because he seemed so worried about her seeing that memory.. but on the other hand, it's also hard to fully stop the hurt that memory pulls straight out of Madoka's own heart. Just the sight of it all. Just how.. callous it had been, how cruel. It didn't even seem to have any sort of purpose.

It was just harm inflicted for the sake of harm. By people who enjoy it.

She sniffs, and tears finally start to slip out of her eyes. Madoka shoves her face fully against Jiang Cheng, wishing that he wouldn't have to notice, but just the way the girl's shoulders shake alone makes it very obvious that she's crying in the first place.

She's crying for Jiang Cheng's poor family. For what happened to them. For how much it must have hurt both him, to see that carnage, and them.

"Why did they have to die.. They shouldn't have died..!" Madoka has never been good at enduring that kind of unfairness from the world, and this moment is no different. It's what makes this hurt.

[fennu]

This grief is old for Jiang Cheng now, an ancient kind of pain that he has buried under years of anger and rage, letting his reputation and his leadership be the mantle to carry him into the future. It is the only way he had been able to survive when his family had been taken, then his Sect, his in-laws, then his brother, then his sister.

He'd had nothing left. Nothing but himself and a nephew and a promise to raise him to be a good man.

Jiang Cheng recognises why the Wen Sect had come and destroyed his own, knows why they saw him and his family as a threat, had laid the blame at Wei Wuxian's feet for so long. When he reaches out to draw Madoka closer, to hold her gently, he knows that all those thoughts of blame had died a death a long time ago.

"They shouldn't," he agrees, nodding his head and holding back his own tears. "My mother and father did not deserve it, no more than the children or the disciples or their families. No one deserved what happened that day." Wei Wuxian didn't, Jiang Cheng didn't, his sister didn't.

"But we found happiness again. It wasn't the end, of my family or my sect. It didn't end."

[happyends]

Madoka has to swallow thickly before she's even able to reply to what the man is saying here.

"Did you..?" Find happiness, that is. It's not like she totally disbelieves the other, but.. it's just so hard to believe that when she has seen Jiang Cheng looking gloomy and moody so many times. She has seen him happy too, sure, but she feels like the former moods outweigh the latter happier ones..

Which could be a side effect of the train and the way it is. God knows it has made Madoka feel absolutely awful several times.

But even so.. it feels important to ask. To make sure of. Because Jiang Cheng's happiness is that important to Madoka, especially after something so awful.

"Are you happy..?"

[fennu]

It's a difficult question.

Jiang Cheng isn't sure what happiness is for him in the world he's in. He thinks of his mended relationship with Wei Wuxian, the cracks that are still there. He thinks of the ghosts that haunt him and his hands shake for a moment, breathing out for a moment before he nods his head.

"I am as happy as I can be. Things are not perfect and they never will be, but I try."

He has to, for Jin Ling, for his brother, for his Sect. He doesn't have much of a choice in the matter, all things considered.

Looking down at Madoka, he tries to smile.

"I am fine."

[happyends]

.. she thinks he wouldn't lie about that. Not under the current circumstances.

So if that's true, and he really did find at least some scrap of happiness after all that misery, then.. that's a good thing, right? Something so bad happened to him, something most people wouldn't even be able to ever bounce back from, and yet he did it. Maybe not perfectly, and maybe not entirely, but..

He's getting there. And that--

"I'm glad. You're.. really impressive, you know. You're so strong, to have gotten this far.."

-- is strength.

"I-I'll be okay too, even after seeing that! It was a lot, but.. um." She moves a hand to wipe at her face, trying to get rid of the tears. "I'll be okay. Because I know you're okay, even after all of that.. So I'll be okay too!"

It's the least she can do, trying to be as strong here as he is.

"I'm not sure which memory of mine you saw, but.. we should probably talk about that one too, huh..?" If not just because the cave won't let them go otherwise. And she's a little worried he might feel too bad or guilty to bring up her memory, which is why Madoka is doing her best to start about it now.

[fennu]

It's an impossible situation and Jiang Cheng doesn't know what to do, but at least she seems a little more settled and comfortable. It means he can reach over and draw her close, offering her an embrace to settle her and make her feel a little more comfortable.

She seems to have so much more confidence in him, more than he has ever had in himself, and it makes him feel as awful as it does make him feel better.

"I've survived. It's the only thing we could do."

Lifting his hand, he pats her head gently before he breathes out and speaks.

"I saw... You being told the truth. About who you were, and the consequences. With a... Cat?"

[happyends]

Madoka shifts a little in an uncomfortable way, something Jiang Cheng ought to be able to feel now he's holding her.

"That's Kyubey.."

She knows what moment he's talking about - she thinks, anyway. There have been many times where that creature told her and the others some awful truths, after all. But when he's making it so explicitly about her, she's pretty sure Jiang Cheng saw that last moment she saw Kyubey before everything got extra awful.

It's a little painful to talk about, but she knows they have to do it before they can leave this cave. And if Jiang Cheng was strong and brave enough to talk about his own painful past, then Madoka ought to at least do the same thing, she thinks.

"He looks like a cat, but he's an alien. .. um." She pauses, wondering if Jiang Cheng knows what that means. They probably didn't think much about aliens where he comes from, judging by what his world has seemed like so far.. But they've come across alien-like stuff here on the train, right? ".. a being from a different planet than mine. I at first thought he was cute, but then I found out he was manipulating all of us.."

[fennu]

It is uncomfortable, and it does make him a little on edge, because it's sharply reminding him of just how upset she had been in her memory.

None of this is easy, or simple, and Jiang Cheng had been preparing himself for the more difficult memories from the moment he had realised that it was possible.

His hand is gentle as it strokes over her back, trying to be soothing when he isn't much of a soothing person at all. Instead, he ends up trying to steel himself, trying to find some way to manage himself so he doesn't let his own upset transfer over to her.

"I saw that," he nods, understanding. "What happened after that? When you found out the truth?"

[happyends]

"That was when that big witch attacked the city.. Um, the one you saw in the first memory.."

One that had also been bad, though in a different way than this one. At least in that memory Madoka had felt like she had some hope. She knew a way to fix the situation for everyone else, even if it might have made things harder for her personally.

"Kyubey also told me that I was the only one who could prevent that witch from destroying everything. All my friends had died.. I was the only one who could still do something." Madoka bites her lip, her voice so tiny as she speaks.

Even though it's been so long since she was in her own world, all the memories still hurt. It's hard to talk about them, but she knows she has to, so she tries her best here.

"So, even though I knew the risks.. I knew I had to go and become a magical girl. I couldn't-- I couldn't just let the world be destroyed and not do anything, you know..?"