He takes a step back, clutching his chest. Breathing is hard, sucking air in through his nose in short little bursts. His body feels prickly, like there's static in the connection between his soul and his body. He can feel his body shaking slightly, trying to hold it together. As much as he trusts Soldat, he still can't fall apart. It's not Acceptable.

"... Miss... him. But... don't want... to feel this... anymore." He can't cry. Not here, and he's not sure he's got any tears left in him. "If I... forget him... he's gone... but... why does thinking about him... hurt so much? He... he's dead. I... need to just get over... it..." He winces again as he feels his chest squeeze.