[ he barely has time to wonder about any of it when the bird is already falling and assuming a shape. justifiably startled by this, he gets to his feet but stays crouched there with the wall at his back. in terms of running away, he'd really picked a hell of a hiding spot, huh?
so far, he's only experienced his memories in dreams, just disjointed snapshots of his life that manifested as bloody nightmares. he'd tried not to think about them or wonder about the voices or the faces of the people he'd seen in them sometimes. wasn't he happier without them? he has a life! he has people! ... doesn't he? this must be what he'd heard about lately, the rumours of strangers wandering around causing trouble. ]
If ya got power, why don'tcha use it to kill that thing?!
[ as opposed to messing with him. although to admit that he feels conflicted means acknowledging the reasons why. he was covering his ears so he didn't have to hear that voice again and looking only at the ground now because once was enough. maybe he can ignore this, and it'll go away like everything else. izō can't see it or doesn't notice, but it looks like he's the one with the glitches now as his physical state seems affected by his internal turmoil. a human might have found it easier to get away with his continued denial, but as a servant whose memories and experiences were integral to everything, he's fighting a losing battle.
he's always the one who loses. he remembers an alley, not unlike this one, and something had been hunting him then too. they were only men — manslayers just like him, as a matter-of-fact — but the wolves of mibu had patience and numbers on their side. izō had been on the run; fatigue and hunger had long sapped his strength. he'd already known his luck was soon to run out. ryouma had appeared then too. he hadn't yet started dressing in the western style then, and the dark blues and blacks he appears in now are reminiscent of that. ryouma couldn't save him then, although that might be one thing he doesn't hold onto as a grievance. back then, no one could. as a servant, he's been dragged around and pulled into things that don't concern him, been left for dead only to find out ryouma had gone off happily to chaldea. sakamoto ryouma always looks at the big picture things and thinks of the happiness of others, except the most bitter parts of izō are quite certain that's true for everyone but him.
it's unpleasant but no one could say this wasn't an effective strategy. ]
Oi.
[ he sounds genuinely pissed off. at some point, the illusion seems to have broken entirely, his saint graph returning to its usual state. normal clothes are nice, but it's probably a good sign that he looks like himself again with everything going on. the anger in his tone at least doesn't stick around; there's plenty to unpack about the fact that he's left with the knowledge of his fake happiness, but there's no way he's looking at any of that right now. or ever, if he has his way or at least gets a few too many drinks in him again. ]
I already got a headache, ya ain't gotta call in this guy t'make it worse...
[ as usual, he completely glosses over the rest as if it didn't just happen. ]
no subject
[ he barely has time to wonder about any of it when the bird is already falling and assuming a shape. justifiably startled by this, he gets to his feet but stays crouched there with the wall at his back. in terms of running away, he'd really picked a hell of a hiding spot, huh?
so far, he's only experienced his memories in dreams, just disjointed snapshots of his life that manifested as bloody nightmares. he'd tried not to think about them or wonder about the voices or the faces of the people he'd seen in them sometimes. wasn't he happier without them? he has a life! he has people! ... doesn't he? this must be what he'd heard about lately, the rumours of strangers wandering around causing trouble. ]
If ya got power, why don'tcha use it to kill that thing?!
[ as opposed to messing with him. although to admit that he feels conflicted means acknowledging the reasons why. he was covering his ears so he didn't have to hear that voice again and looking only at the ground now because once was enough. maybe he can ignore this, and it'll go away like everything else. izō can't see it or doesn't notice, but it looks like he's the one with the glitches now as his physical state seems affected by his internal turmoil. a human might have found it easier to get away with his continued denial, but as a servant whose memories and experiences were integral to everything, he's fighting a losing battle.
he's always the one who loses. he remembers an alley, not unlike this one, and something had been hunting him then too. they were only men — manslayers just like him, as a matter-of-fact — but the wolves of mibu had patience and numbers on their side. izō had been on the run; fatigue and hunger had long sapped his strength. he'd already known his luck was soon to run out. ryouma had appeared then too. he hadn't yet started dressing in the western style then, and the dark blues and blacks he appears in now are reminiscent of that. ryouma couldn't save him then, although that might be one thing he doesn't hold onto as a grievance. back then, no one could. as a servant, he's been dragged around and pulled into things that don't concern him, been left for dead only to find out ryouma had gone off happily to chaldea. sakamoto ryouma always looks at the big picture things and thinks of the happiness of others, except the most bitter parts of izō are quite certain that's true for everyone but him.
it's unpleasant but no one could say this wasn't an effective strategy. ]
Oi.
[ he sounds genuinely pissed off. at some point, the illusion seems to have broken entirely, his saint graph returning to its usual state. normal clothes are nice, but it's probably a good sign that he looks like himself again with everything going on. the anger in his tone at least doesn't stick around; there's plenty to unpack about the fact that he's left with the knowledge of his fake happiness, but there's no way he's looking at any of that right now. or ever, if he has his way
or at least gets a few too many drinks in him again.]I already got a headache, ya ain't gotta call in this guy t'make it worse...
[ as usual, he completely glosses over the rest as if it didn't just happen. ]