middleofsomewhere | Jema'grethy: Memory Cave

The good news: there are no tears. (Or Inigo immediately clinging to the other, in case Tidus considers that to be good news as well.)

The bad news: Inigo certainly remembers what they discussed last time around.. or rather, what Inigo arbitrarily decided was going to happen here. It takes him a moment to snap out of that memory with how real it felt once more, and with how naturally empathic Inigo is, which means he completely gets sucked up into the feelings of another, the feeling of a kid so excited for a blitzball match, even though Inigo himself has absolutely no fond feelings for the sport.

It makes him just suck in a deep breath to confirm that he is himself once more, back in his own mind and memories. After he does, he stares at Tidus, the other guy's words dawning upon him..

.. and then he shakes his head. Rapidly.

"Oh, no. No, no-- hold on! We have to talk about how excited you were to see your d--" Oh, hold on. Inigo never says 'dad.' Apparently his mind is still lingering in the memory of it, surrounded by that word, if not just a little bit. "-- father."

This is important, bro.

No sneaking your way out of this one.

Tidus can't guess where Inigo's going with that start; that adamant stance!, but for what? Especially when he cuts himself off, and Tidus blinks at him, staring at him for a puzzled brow for maybe a second or two. Until he says that word.

That f word.

"Uh. What?" His dad?! Wait wait wait- and please, ignore the growing look of fear that may be inching its way onto Tidus's face! "What are you talking about?"

Said, like excited to see your father is the most unbelievable set of words that anyone could ever say to Tidus.

"Oh, come on! Surely you remember!"

.. granted, it would actually be pretty valid if Tidus didn't remember. Inigo has no idea how old Tidus was in that memory, but he didn't seem that old at all.. especially if he still had such an honest attitude in regards to his dad on top of everything else.

Maybe he was too young to remember it. Or he blocked it out of his mind due to the embarrassment?

Inigo isn't too sure which it is, but it's also why he doesn't want to drop all the information at once. He wants to coax something out of Tidus too, see whether the other actively remembers this specific one on his own.

"Didn't you ever go to his blitzball games?"

"When I was a kid, yeah?" He answers without thinking, since he knows that much, but then that's all he needs - saying what his brain thinks, and the dawning realisation of-- "Oh no."

Oh no. Tidus saw a kid memory. Inigo saw a kid memory. Inigo saw a kid memory of him being excited about one of his dad's blitzball games!

Thus, Tidus turns halfway away from Inigo, folds his arms and declares like the adult he is:

"We don't have to talk about this."

Nope. Nuh uh. No talking about embarrassing childhood memories here that belong to one (1) Tidus. Pass!!!

Edited 2022-06-05 21:55 (UTC)

There we go. Inigo already thought so, but Tidus really does remember - even if he had to take a moment to do so in the first place.

And even if it makes the other pouty.

But it's not like Inigo didn't see that coming. After all, with the sort of relationship Tidus seems to have with his dad, he probably looks back on that kind of memory with embarrassment.. no matter how cute Inigo just thought the memory was. He's always adored Tidus's genuine excitement, after all, and that memory just seemed to be dripping with it.

There's a faint urge to tease Tidus, but Inigo doesn't want to push too hard when this is a fairly sensitive topic. So instead he just smiles - gently, rather than mockingly - and reaches out to put a hand on the other guy's shoulder.

"Not to kick you while you're down or anything," because Tidus's reaction sure is dramatic enough for him to seem like a drowned dog here, "but we kind of have to."

Unless Tidus wants to spend the rest of their vacation in this cave, anyway.

Noooo don't bro-touch Tidus's shoulder while he's trying to sulk here!! Like a literal child, though the one Inigo had apparently seen was better than he's being right now. It's hard though, to be perceived in this moment; a not-serious kind of hard, but his cheeks are tickling with the heat of what he can imagine that Inigo saw. A time he doesn't remember, but knows that existed.

Because of course he was big into his dad once - aren't all kids? Before the memories that actually stuck to him, the disappointment and frustration and tears that cling better with what they were born from, than anything visual.

...

...does he haaaaave to do this, uuUUGHGGHHHHH--

If it wasn't for the hand on his shoulder, he'd be shuffling around more than he does anyway; not turning around and knocking Inigo away from him, but turning his head side to side, huffing. Delaying the inevitable for as long as he can.

"I went to a few of them when I was younger." There. Look. Talking! He's talking! "I dunno how many - before I was seven? Before he started getting on my nerves."

There's no bite to the recollection, just another way of saying before I started to resent him.

"It was a long time ago - I don't have any memories about any one game, save replays."

So whatever Inigo saw, he knows it even better than Tidus now.

At least Inigo does give the other a few moments to be all awkward about it. He figures that maybe all Tidus needs here is a little bit of time - and that's something he can give the other. He doesn't want to be stuck here all day, but a few moments longer than absolutely necessary?

Sure, he can deal with that, if it puts Tidus a little bit more at ease. And apparently it works, because the other does start to speak, no matter how slow he's taking it.

"I think it was your first one," Inigo speaks, making sure to carefully keep his tone pretty gently neutral. The last thing he wants to do is to set Tidus off further when the other feels like a flustered bomb that's about to explode. "Like you had never seen a blitzball game before."

(An almost terrifyingly weird thing to consider when this is Tidus we're talking about. Inigo is convinced the other is at least half made up out of blitzballs at this point - but everyone's got to start somewhere.)

"I guess you were too young to really remember, but.. you were there with your mother. And you were all excited. It was.."

.. Inigo pauses. Can he say this? Will Tidus explode? Most likely, but it only feels fair to say it, especially since the words make him smile very genuinely as they leave his mouth.

".. you were cute. In a good way." You know - as opposite to 'in that kind of way that makes me want to tease you.'

Inigo can always save that for some other time.

Tidus could die on the spot when Inigo calls him cute.

Okay, child him, which isn't a distinction that Tidus misses, but it doesn't matter to his ears and brain. Even as he manages to get out, "Yeah? What kid isn't cute? That's all kids!" -- said like a defence, when there's no reason for it, other than Tidus trying to separate anything personal and about him in the remark.

Because sometimes, your mouth just goes off instead of you giving yourself the moment you need to not be a dweeb about meaningless comments. There may be other emotions tangled up in there, in thinking about anything to do with his childhood, but--

But give him another second, to let out the breath he instantly held onto again; for the fluster of his person to work itself down, those sideways looks taken again, and for a more reasonable Tidus to come through.

"I liked blitzball, I liked the dad - but my dad starting liking drinking too much, and everything just... it got bad. I knew how bad it was. I wanted him to stop drinking and show everyone he still had it, but-- he wouldn't."

He's folded his arms somewhere in talking, hands tucked under his armpits, held tight in place. He lets out another sigh, looks at Inigo now, tipping his head.

"That was a long time ago now. He got better in the end... but you always keep that thought in you, huh? If only you had more time, if only he'd been better before he vanished. If only this and that was different."

Ifs and buts and onlys.

For many of the problems Inigo has had to deal with in his world, rampant alcoholism wasn't really one of them. It makes his gaze soften even further with sympathy as he looks at the other guy, listening to what Tidus is saying here.

It leads into that final sentiment, and that one makes Inigo slowly nod. He gets that part - very much so. Even if the cause of everything going wrong in his world was very different, he too kept thinking about what things would have been like if nothing had ever changed from his childhood. If he had been able to live with his parents for longer. Would his mother have been proud of him? Would he have been able to grow closer to his father over time?

Who knows. Nobody knows. For both him and Tidus.. that opportunity is long behind them.

"What would you have hoped for?" He speaks up, his voice a little softer in volume than a moment ago, but his gaze not leaving Tidus, no matter whether the other is looking away or not. "If he had gotten better sooner. What would you have wanted things between you two to be like?"

He thinks it's probably not an easy question for Tidus, given how much energy the other has seemed to put into resenting his old man while having a mess of fond complicated feelings underneath it.

But if there ever was a place to ask this question, Inigo thinks, then it's right now. Right here. With just the two of them, quite literally isolated from the outside world by the walls of the cave.

Tidus does look when Inigo speaks; a gradual turn, but not reluctant. It's a strange place to be in - well, physically (or whatever you want to call this cave place), but more in this discussion. He's thought about it before, more recently than any time in Zanarkand or Spira. Zanarkand, he wouldn't ever dare to think about what ifs; about an old man gone, who was never coming back, and his ghost was plenty for him. A person to be better than, to overcome the legacy he left and be even better.

...but on a train ride that takes you places, emotionally and physically, it's a thought that's cropped up. Probably while speaking with Inigo before.

There's nothing exactly happy about it. But Tidus leans back, a small huff that's somewhat fond, but barely.

"I'd want to kick his ass at blitzball." --okay, he's grinning, the kind that doesn't show teeth but that digs the edges of his lips into his cheeks. But this helps him ease up, to be honest, less awkward; though he shuffles some as he has to get there, feet moving in place, a sigh let go. "He'd wind me up without the drinking problem; he always did! But-" But- "--I'd want a chance to show what I can do. Impress him."

His eyes haven't strayed far from Inigo as he's spoken, but they come back onto him now, smile softer but no less sincere.

"But I know I got that in the end. And I'm happy he's resting now."

And he can easily go quiet with that, his answer given, but there is a pause before, sheepishly- "--That's not too sad, is it?"

He's not sounding too sad, is he? It's a good thing, honest...!

Honestly, there's potential for it to be sad. But with the way Tidus is talking about it in his own way, a way that's obviously genuine enough that it doesn't seem like he's hiding any real sad sentiment behind those words.. all Inigo can do in reply to that question is shake his head.

"I don't think so."

After all, it sounds like things ended.. maybe not well, but not awfully either. Tidus and his father deserved better in their own ways, especially when it came to their last moments together, but as long as his friend can see something positive in it, then Inigo doesn't think it's too sad.

"As long as you're happy, Tidus." .. while the other's talk might not have been entirely too sad, this part? This part is entirely too sappy, and it's reflected in how genuinely affectionate Inigo's gaze is as he looks at the other. "That's all that matters to me."

S-Sap...

"Thankfully you seem to have some amazing superpower that lets you look positively at just about anything when you try."

Maybe there ought to be an emphasis on 'when you try', since Tidus also has a whining superpower.. but Inigo does mean what he's saying here. He genuinely admires the other's ability to be mature enough about the situation to be saying this right here and now - and it only feels warmer in the light of the memory he saw. Of Tidus's genuine excitement for his father, his genuine affection and admiration of him, felt inside of Inigo's chest as if it had been his own.

B-bro...! Don't be a sap right in the middle of their memory cave...!

It's touching, if embarrassing; the way Inigo says it, though Tidus knows he's being completely honest, sincere. Still -- but even so, it doesn't really bother Tidus. This is Inigo, and it works a smile onto his face, only growing more - and with a chuckle - as Inigo goes on.

He hits Inigo on the chest with a bro thump.

"And you have the amazing superpower to keep on fighting, no matter how long the battle takes!"

Take that, pal! But Tidus isn't done here with how high the ends of his lips have pulled.

"But we can't forget about the memory I saw. It was you and your mom - you were so tiny, Inigo!"

So tiny, so mesmerised by the flowers and his mom. Tidus waves a hand.

"I wanna show you! There's gotta be someone who can do stuff with memories - then you can see it! Wouldn't that be great?"

"Why do you want to show me!"

At least the choice of memory isn't too surprising. Inigo thinks that Gyousou saw it too - or something similar to it, anyway. He remembers the king talking about his mother, at the very least. And it's not as flustering as Tidus seemed to find his own memory, the one Inigo saw..

.. but it's still a little flustering. Just enough for Inigo's cheeks to turn a little pink, despite them almost always being pink at this point..

"Is this revenge?" That's mostly just added to put something a little more playful in this, since it's not like Inigo means anything bad by it. Even as he adds, putting his hands up in front of his chest defensively: "I totally remember my mother from when I was young!"

Well..

.. mostly. And probably not from how young Tidus has seen him, but still. Still!! Bro, it's a tad embarrassing too when you're so excited about that little version of him, okay!!

"We don't have to," Tidus assures, but not as guilty as he could sound as he waves his hands. "I thought it'd be nice! You never got anything like real photos or videos in your world..."

Ah. But then his lips pull up into a grin, and he points at Inigo.

"We can finally get that family portrait we've been talking about buyin'."

Read: That Tidus once threatened to buy. He's bringing out the family photos again to terrorise a bro!

That was definitely a threat! Inigo remembers that situation, and sure, there was also some sappy cheesiness in it when they discussed it..

But it was also definitely a threat.

It might be why the guy's eyes suddenly goes wide as he stands there, staring at Tidus with his jaw slowly dropping.

"What?!" His voice is at least several pitches higher than when he spoke only a moment ago.. It's getting dangerously close to squeak territory over here. "W-Why don't we get a family portrait of your family then, huh?!"

Would that be much harder, since it's not like a family portrait of them was ever probably made? Sure.

But Inigo can't help but want to turn these tables back around, because they spun in his direction way too quickly here. Even if he's grasping at straws.

Should Tidus tease a bro too much? He's gotten what he wanted out of this anyway, by that high-pitch response - the note of victory, to his ears. When you haven't got blitzball, you can count on a pal to overreact.

"I've got pictures of my mom and dad. Remember? On the memoris." Which is exactly the same, albeit with fewer paints and less size. "We can fit a painting in our room! We'll squeeze it right by the holes and near to the window...!"

Would that be enough room, by the cubbyholes and the slip of wall before it turned into the window? Tidus is moving out his hands though, motioning them as if the space of wall is before him, and that's where this family portrait will go.

Facing their bed, eyes on where they get up to all sorts.

Perfect, Inigo.

"That is definitely not the same thing!"

Inigo may not understand much about photography. He's knows.. at least a little bit by now, thanks to the photos Tidus has taken on that thing, and the photos he has shown Inigo on it. But while it doesn't make him an expert with this sort of thing by far, Inigo is still relatively confident that he's right about this one.

Him saving photos of his family on that device is definitely not the same as putting up a portrait, especially with the sheer size difference and how often it'd be seen.

"Why can't we just talk about what we saw?! I don't want to be stuck here in a cave while you're teasing me and I can't leave!"

.. Is Inigo about to cry?

His eyes look awfully shiny. Forget seeing Inigo as a baby, he's still a baby, getting this upsetti spaghetti over something so minor. Figures.

"Ohhhkaay."

Inigo is calling for mercy, Tidus still dressed in his wide grin and brimming with itches for things to do - Inigo can't leave him in this cave, can be - but he's showing restraint, good behaviour, slipping his hands behind his back and pressing against the cave wall with a small bump. Getting comfortable, looking it, with the spread of his smile easing to somewhere less suspicious.

More so, as he starts to talk once more. "You loved your mom -- she looked like a great mom. And you fought to give her and your dad a better live - you and your sis too. How do you feel about it?"

A different life, changed. Inigo has always separated himself from the world he fought to create, one that didn't bring the tragedy that befell his timeline. But isn't it the same, in the end?

Oh, thank Naga. That came dangerously close to Inigo being baby upset there. In fact, even when Tidus is moving on and speaking about something else, Inigo over here may be raising an arm to rub at his eyes with, trying to get rid of the faint remainders of the oncoming tears.

(And he might sniff.

Just for a moment.)

But once he gathers himself again, he instead looks at least a tad more serious when he replies to the question.

"Good, of course. I want them to be happy." That's not even something Inigo has to think about. Just like how he didn't even have to think about going back in time, as long as it was for their sakes. As long as their family could live happily somewhere. "Like you're saying, and like you've seen too.. My mother was amazing. She was gentle and kind, and she deserves to live in a world where she does not have to think about fighting or survival all the time."

Because even though Olivia found ways to deal with it - something Inigo greatly admires about his mother, who had only been a simple dancer before having to pick up a sword - Inigo can't imagine that it was ever easy for her, given her nature.

"Mmm." It's a small hum, acknowledgement, something else on the tip of those pinched lips. He knocks his foot back along the ground, heel hitting the wall of the cave he leans against.

"What was it like, seeing your mom again? Back when you went to help them out." There's a scoff. "I know how things went with your old man..."

There's plenty been said about him. But what about his mother, his time with her? Tidus doesn't have any memories of conversations about her; only the woman who showed up on the train, shy and nervous. Still Inigo's mother, if in a more...timey-wimey other alternative universe babble way.

"Mother?" He asks - like he doesn't know what Tidus is already asking.

It's more just so he has a moment to think about it, because it's true. It is something he's never really talked about, and it means he needs a moment for the right words to come to him to describe something so truly complicated.

"She was.. sweet," he starts, slowly, but then more quickly adds: "Of course she was."

That's what his mother is like, after all.

"She cared about me, I could tell that. But sometimes it also seemed a little like she was struggling with the entire concept. Not that I could blame her-- who wouldn't feel strange after some grown up guy appeared claiming to be your child from the future?" Inigo can't imagine someone not feeling awkward while trying to deal with that, least of all his even-meeker-than-he-remembered-her mother.

"That is strange." Tidus won't mince words or disagree - how would he feel about someone being his future kid? "But you've been gone so long now, and she got to meet your sister and your friends - I bet she worries about you. How long did you get to really know each other?"

In the middle of a war, on top of the oddity around them. But Inigo being since then, or - not really gone, but worse. Comatose, unresponsive.

How would he feel about that outcome?

Inigo shakes his head.

"It wasn't long." He got pulled to the train so soon after he managed to join up with the group, after all. All those years he spent in the future, then the month he spent wandering around by himself after they got separated due to their journey to the past - and the moment he reunites with his sister and the younger versions of his parents, he's gone.

.. maybe it's a good thing, Inigo thinks. It's like a prelude to having to get used to having a life entirely separate from them.

"I think since I joined up with them and I ended up on the train.. It can't have been more than a few days. So of course she didn't have time to get used to it."

Who would just come to terms with the weird future kid thing after a few days?

Inigo thinks the world of his mother, but she's definitely way too fretful of a person to accept it so easily and calmly.

"It's better that way though. I didn't want to get too attached to her. I told myself that already, before heading back to the past." It'd just mess things up. It wasn't his place anymore to be fond of her the way a son would be.

Just a few days.

Just a few days, and all you have to remember about your parents is your dad being disappointed in you, chastising you, expecting better, and that's it. It weighs inside Tidus's gut, that that's what Inigo got before getting dragged away onto a miserable ride far from everyone - and everything - he knew.

It's unfair, in plenty of ways. Tidus mulls over it, the time that Inigo didn't get. Kicking his foot against the ground once.

"...Hey. You never found out if anyone managed to protect your body, did you? When you went back - you didn't go see anyone, right?"

It might seem unrelated, but this talk of family, the sister that Tidus knows was back there, the mother that Inigo adored and the kind of people everyone seemed...

There's a few places his mind is going right now.

That question.. definitely has Inigo looking a little more awkward. Partially since it's kind of awkward to think about the current state of your unconscious body and all, especially when it's got to have been unconscious for so long now, but..

.. well, he's also a little embarrassed about the fact he just plainly ran away the moment he suddenly found himself back in his own world. It's not exactly cool, or brave.. But it is what it is.

"Yeah," he softly says, his cheeks very faintly red with the disappointment in himself. "I just ran away from anywhere that looked familiar, until I ended back on the platform. I didn't go back to my own world after that.."

So he definitely has no idea. He didn't exactly go look for his body, or all the people he knows.

".. Why?"

Jema'grethy: Memory Cave

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