middleofsomewhere | Conclusion

Thank you.

For those inside the system the voices of the Great-Seasons ring out around them once the red mass has vanished and the blue plinth it was smothering is freed once more. They don't have all that much time to reflect on that before they find themselves waking up once more in their bodies around the tree trunks.

Or at least, around the tube that is the Great-Season they entered through. All illusions have vanished now, all that is left are pipes and metal.

The Great-Seasons allow them passage out from the centre, no sentries or pipes attack them this time. Everything seems to have been put to rights, the walls in the Autumn sector have stopped moving, there is no strange weather effects in the Summer Sector, no engineering problems in Winter and all the camaloid creatures in Spring are calm. Any Helpmates they come across are doing their jobs and no longer malfunctioning.

After a small amount of time, enough to check that all is well, their SCA's light up. All Passengers are to return to the Voidtrecker Express.

Considering the vast distances involved it is probably best that they use the evacuation function to return to the Luggage carriage.

Once all Voidtreckers have returned the train returns to the Void once more.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"... Right, I should probably... uh. I got sort of turned into a guardian of my city. I'm not alive in the same way, but I'm not dead." He thought he was going to be, but he isn't. "There's a good chance I'll live a few hundred years."

Well what do you say to that? She's been prepared for a lot of situations in her life, the right things to say to get out of a meal or how to hold a polite conversation. Never what to say that sort of confession.

"That's--that's..." Don't say awful, what if he wanted this? She hedges her bets, "Did you get to choose that fate or did your gods press it upon you?" Wait, are there gods? Not every world has gods. She's ruining this conversation bit by bit.

"... I made the contract. I don't remember making the contract, but I don't regret it." Not defend the city that's been his home, his life for the entirety of his life? He'd never be able to not say no.

That...doesn't sound very nice and normal, knowing you signed up for something that you don't remember. If she made that firm a decision, that important of one, wouldn't she remember? Of course, if he says he doesn't regret it, it's not up to her to try and force him to do otherwise.

"Well...I'm glad you don't regret it. Was it that long ago? That you can't remember?"

"About a week before I showed up on the platform. ... I was dying at the time, so not everything was very clear. I don't know if removing memories of human life is intentional or if it just kind of is part of the deal." His situation was... unusual, to say the least.

"They--they did what to you?"

Okay he has her attention. He had it before, of course, but now she sits on the edge of his plot, her full sympathy turned on him.

"Wait wait, so you were dying and they made you in the guardian of your city, which you probably agreed to because you were dying. Do I have that straight?"

"Yeah. ... I mean, we were trying to run away... to escape the life we were in. But the whole time I was alive, I never really... lived. If that makes sense..." Not much joy, not much emotion, just being a killing machine over and over and over to the point where he has... no idea how many people he's killed.

"You never really got to enjoy life, is that what you mean? So--if this is too personal you don't have to ask. Did they save you from dying to be a guardian? Or are you not quite alive?"

She's really not picking up on the undercurrent here, though she can empathize. She's still caught up on the horror of what they did to him, less what he did himself.

“... Sort of. I was never treated like a person my entire life except for the only friend I ever had before here.” He sounds... less mad than he should. “You wouldn’t say a sword or a gun was alive... that’s what I was to them. That’s what my father treated me like. He said I was a monster and should never have been born.”

Anyway. “I’m not... I act alive, my soul just isn’t in my body.”

Wow this is--She leans in, shaking her head with a strange vehemence.

"That's--That's awful! Wrong! You're just as much a person as anyone else. And for your father to say that!" She curls her fingers in the dirt of the plot she's sitting on. "I don't really understand about the soul--but you look and act alive. Isn't that enough?"

"That's what Ryo said." She's got to know Ryo... he's a nice enough guy that half the train must have run into him by now. "And I always understood that's where I ranked for my father. He was an awful person even by awful person standards. But he was ruthless and effective and charming to the people who needed to be charmed. It just wasn't me."

"Oh--that...Those kind of people." Persephone knows those sort of people. Her face goes blank as she sits back and clasps her hands her hands in her lap.

"It's still not right. Even if you knew it was where you stood, it doesn't make it any better. You shouldn't have had to deal with that, not from your own father."

"Well, he won't have a chance to do that to anyone anymore. Or... to hurt anyone ever again." The sword he carries isn't just for show, after all.

"... I was more angry about what he did to Reiji than to me. It was normal for me."

There's a feeling in the pit of her stomach, unsure, as she twists her hands in her lap. This has gotten into an awfully serious conversation, with someone she really doesn't know. It's weird how often that happens on the train.

"Something being normal doesn't mean it's right. But I'm glad you don't have to deal with it anymore."

"... Yeah. People here on the train have been... well. Nicer than most people I've interacted with." It's... good. It's taken some getting used to, but it's good.

"Generally, I've found that to be true. Kind of feels like outside the place you started with, all it's pressures and problems and people knowing and judging and all that, you start to see how awful and messed up some parts of it were. People are usually kind as a rule, it's just all the society stuff that gets in the way."

Or at least she has. There's definitely some projection.

"... Yeah. I don't have to be... just the bodyguard in the corner. Or the one to mess up people... I can... try things. It's... a lot to try to pick through, but it's nice." He needs to just start making lists of things that sound interesting to try.

"Well, I hope you find something you love. It's the hard part, finding something else to do with yourself when all the stuff you used to do aren't really what you want."

Trust her, she gets it. "This is a good start though." She pats the soil.

"... It is. And hopefully it can be useful, too. They can be used in medicine... and I'm trying to learn more about herbal medicine, too. I use it at home for the yokai..." He's not sure they can even take human medicine.

Conclusion

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cw: mental/emotional abuse

Re: cw: mental/emotional abuse

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