middleofsomewhere | Conclusion

Conclusion

Thank you.

For those inside the system the voices of the Great-Seasons ring out around them once the red mass has vanished and the blue plinth it was smothering is freed once more. They don't have all that much time to reflect on that before they find themselves waking up once more in their bodies around the tree trunks.

Or at least, around the tube that is the Great-Season they entered through. All illusions have vanished now, all that is left are pipes and metal.

The Great-Seasons allow them passage out from the centre, no sentries or pipes attack them this time. Everything seems to have been put to rights, the walls in the Autumn sector have stopped moving, there is no strange weather effects in the Summer Sector, no engineering problems in Winter and all the camaloid creatures in Spring are calm. Any Helpmates they come across are doing their jobs and no longer malfunctioning.

After a small amount of time, enough to check that all is well, their SCA's light up. All Passengers are to return to the Voidtrecker Express.

Considering the vast distances involved it is probably best that they use the evacuation function to return to the Luggage carriage.

Once all Voidtreckers have returned the train returns to the Void once more.

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Does Inigo only seem even more pleased that they're not putting up much of a struggle about this?

Yes, he sure does. Look, in the end all of this is just a good thing since he's doing it for Soldat's own wellbeing - but it's kind of nice to know that he sometimes can convince people pretty quickly, okay. Even if it's just because they're too sleepy to get into it. Although 'pleased' mostly translates into giddiness for Inigo. He looks a little like an excited kid, despite his age.

"You're going to make sure to get some full sleep, right? You can't just take a nap with how sleepy you seem!"

He really does remind Soldat of Sora, so much, for a moment it's almost painful how much they miss that kid, and they have to pause and steady themselves against the train car's door frame to let the wave of it roll over them before they can continue. Homesickness so strong it actually feels a little like sickness.

"Yes," they promise, a little vaguely, as they start moving again. "I don't usually have nightmares when I'm like this. I'll sleep until my stomach demands more food." Though hopefully by then they'll be properly awake.

"That's good," he says. Of course Inigo notices the way Soldat stops like that for a moment, but he's really just blaming it on how fatigued the other seems rather than it being an actual different problem - especially since they don't seem to address it either before they're already moving on.

The mention of nightmares is pretty candid, but nothing new to Inigo thanks to what he learned during Bucky's stay on the train. And while he can't offer the solution he used back then as readily as he could now.. Inigo still can't help but pipe up.

"And.. well. If you're ever worried about nightmares, I've found that it helps when you're holding something while sleeping..?" Or at the very least, that's what works against Inigo's own nightmares. "I have a huge stuffed dragon plush, if you'd ever want to borrow it. It works wonders."

They give a tiny little smile, at that. That's sweet. Probably not that helpful, but sweet. "I used to have a little stuffed. Owl person. Back in Beacon. All knitted with a little carved wood mask. This big." They hold their hands about a foot apart. "It never really helped, exactly, but it was still cute." There was Eleven's rag lion, too, that they made her, and that they recovered after they lost Eleven. Soldat understands at least some of the benefits of plushies.

Look, Inigo will just glance over the part where they admit that it didn't work, because he's determined to find something that does work for Soldat - other than tiring themselves out, because that can't exactly always be an answer for this sort of thing.

But he smiles all the same at the description - since it's cute, and Soldat must have been at least kind of fond of it to call it cute in the first place.

"It's too bad you couldn't bring it with you here. I would've liked to see it."

"Maybe someday I'll ask for it. From the train," Soldat says. "Once I've got my weapons and body armor and all." Because they absolutely need that first. ... and maybe they might need their memories first, too. But Owl Friend eventually, or if it winds up very cheap and they can just spend the points as part of a bigger order.

"It sounds like you've got enough of a list of stuff to get first."

Logical stuff, too. If Inigo hadn't managed to ~~steal~~ accidentally take a sword along from one of their missions, he would have been pretty desperate to buy something resembling the kind of weapon he's used to from the shop as well. So he's not surprised to hear them list that stuff first.

"If you're ever desperate for anything, let me know, alright? I mean.. Friends ought to help each other out with these things!"

They look kind of chagrined. It's a long list, indeed, and they don't think they can use someone else's points to get it. That wouldn't be right. "I've got a whole trunk full of shit I'd really like to get back. I guess I have to ask for it piece by piece... or learn to live without it. Unless the train will get us something and all the things inside it."

Inigo lets out a small sound as he exhales. He's still smiling, but something about the sound is more wry, like he hasn't had great experiences with this sort of thing.

"I don't think the train is ever going to be that generous. It really loves making us buy things seperately, or even just intepreting our orders slightly too literally so we still won't get what we want." He pauses, shaking his head. "It's never easy getting things on here. Almost like the train is actively working against us."

Maybe it's slightly too cynical a thought for someone Inigo's age, but considering everything that's happened in the months he's been here on the train, he can't think anything else.

"She," Soldat says. "Cassie told me the train is a she. And is bad at communicating." They might have every reason to be cynical, themselves, and maybe they are kind of paranoid... but Soldat is still, at their core, an optimist who likes people. They're willing to give the train the benefit of the doubt here.

They smile a little bit. "We had a portal. In Beacon. My last place. And unless you were really careful. You got some weird shit. Somebody ordered a specific kind of bullet, called a candy jacket. Instead, she got a bunch of jackets. With candy on them." They mean this as an example of why the train might interpret their requests literally. Sometimes communication is hard.

".. I don't care."

Inigo's voice hardens as he says it. And yet not quite in the way he'd like it to - the hard edges of a warrior, a soldier. The front he'd like to pull over himself like a shroud.

No, instead there's pain in there. Like a hurt child lashing out.

"I don't care if it's bad at communicating, or what its intentions are. It still-- It still separates people from the ones they love all the time. Involuntarily. Whether it's by bringing people here in the first place, or randomly letting them go without warning. No matter what kind of excuse anyone tries to apply to it, that's still not right!"

Edited 2021-03-01 23:04 (UTC)

They blink in surprise at the vehemence, then belatedly, almost like a double-take, flinch away from it. "Sorry. Sorry, I know it's. Hard. I'm sorry." They still miss Misty and Pudding every time they think of it. But they're also in the long-learned habit of obedience, and, well, missing people.

And they knew that most people aren't as used to it as they are, they're just not focused enough to use their goddamned tact. Now they've upset Inigo because of it.

Inigo can feel it. The familiar sting in his eyes, the threat of tears starting to well up. He hates it, tries to surpress it, because he can't keep crying every single time he gets upset, as if he's still that small child deep down.

Except the feeling on grows stronger when he hears them apologize.

"No, I--"

Inigo sniffs.

"Don't apologize."

It's not Soldat's fault, after all. It's none of their faults. It's all this dumb train's fault for kidnapping people, for putting people into harm's way, for constantly hurting them.

He rubs an arm along his eyes, trying to immediately get rid of any evidence of tears.

"You didn't do anything, and-- you're tired. I shouldn't have started." Not as intensely as that, anyway. But he couldn't help it. He's just too hurt.

The number of things that have made Soldat cry are vast, Inigo, and they've had a lot of encouragement in expressing their emotions. They're not gonna judge. They do panic maybe a little tiny bit on what do do because they don't know Inigo all that well and touch is hard, especially after a startle.

They finally reach over and give Inigo's shoulder a squeeze, right where it meets his neck. "I still shoulda thought before I said something. I know losing people's hard."

He sniffs again, but doesn't seem to react adversely to the touch at all. Inigo just accepts the hand on his shoulder. If anything, it actually is comforting to him, since he's so fond of physical touch. And he can understand the intention behind it.

For a moment he's still unsure what to say though. It feels weird to not explain properly after an outburst like that, but on the other hand, they're tired. He doesn't want to keep Soldat here for too long. So maybe if he can just explain briefly and then shoo the other off to bed - that ought to be the best option here, right?

"I.. um. There was a guy on the train I got practically engaged to. And then he suddenly left one day. And we're not.. not from the same world."

So his chance of ever seeing him? It's virtually zero.

"So it's not your fault, it just.. made me think of that. It's fine." He wipes at his eyes again, trying to fully get rid of the tears now. No time to let others worry. "I'm okay. You ought to sleep, your room should be somewhere right up here."

They are in fact almost there, but Soldat feels kind of distantly bad at the idea of leaving Inigo upset like this. "I know. I do know. I had people, back in Beacon. Some of them died. Some of them are maybe still there. I don't know if the train will put me back there, or back in the life I died from. Or somewhere else."

And they spent weeks seeking the lanterns of the ones who vanished. They still haven't come to terms with the idea of maybe never seeing Misty again. So they do understand. They just didn't think.

".. It said-- I think it told someone that it wouldn't just leave people who died back home to go back to die if they didn't want to."

Not that Inigo trusts the train. He doesn't, not in the slightest. But he's willing to repeat that information it it makes them feel better. Maybe that's the easier option here. Stopping with thinking about himself, and fully focusing his attention on Soldat. The other could probably use it more, anyway.

Even though it still looks like it's not super easy for Inigo to talk right now.

"So I.. I think you'll be alright, somehow. In the end."

Trust is a hard thing. Soldat still struggles with it. They nod, and don't make him talk about it anymore. Not today, anyway. "I can hope." Then, cautiously, because they're so damn tired but they still feel bad, "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Oh.. yeah." The answer comes quickly, and Inigo inhales through his nose, trying to sense if all his tears from a few moments ago are gone. It feels like it, and so he thinks he can pull off this lie convincingly enough.

He smiles a little, waving his hand almost dismissively.

"Of course. I'm fine." He's always fine, if it means other people won't have to worry about him. "Hurry up and go sleep before you fall over!"

Soldat doesn't remotely believe that, Inigo may remind them strongly of Sora, but Sora at least knew how to admit that he wasn't okay. But they're also clearly not functioning well enough to call him on that and actually argue about it.

So they just lean on the wall a little and say, "If you ever aren't okay. You know I'll help, yeah?"

"Of course. We all help each other here."

At least that's not really a lie. Inigo genuinely believes that - and tries to live up to it. It's just that it's a lot harder to accept other people's help without putting up a struggle over it, and it's the last thing he'd want them to concern themselves with when they're really tired.

"Sleep well, alright? You've earned it!" He smiles, and it almost stretches from ear to ear. "Bye!"

.. But the way he leaves is definitely a little too quickly. Like he's just trying to avoid talking more about this at this moment.

They stare after him for a moment, but in the end just let it go. They are damn tired, and don't have the brainpower to sort out what to do here. So they just swipe their ticket and slip inside, and don't even bother taking off their boots before collapsing into bed.

Sleep time. Be glad you got off easy, Inigo.

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