middleofsomewhere | The Will to Fight: Conclusion

The Will to Fight: Conclusion

The battles rage loud and ferocious at the gates of the city and off in the ruined wastelands of Erda, and on the walls a struggle of a different kind occurs. The team who stayed behind at the towers are small but determined as they move stoically across the walls to right the stones that have become misaligned, even as their friends battle not too far away.

The city begins to hum. It's a quiet hum, not loud enough to be heard out where the others are fighting but it vibrates even through stone. The recovering monks assure them that it is done, the wards are back up and no demon will be able to enter the city.

Eventually the battle is won, all three battles. The demons fought back and killed, a major blow to their gate system that will keep them back for hopefully a long time. Those waiting in the caverns return to the city and by the time they get there the illusions are gone. Everyone can see the world for what it really is.

But despite the ruins of their world the people are relieved, the adrenaline of the fight coursing through their veins and the mood is one of hope. They will build again, their people will survive.

All Voidtreckers please return to the Voidtrecker Express. Departure will be in a few hours

It has landed not too far from the city, cloaked to make it unnoticeable to the citizens, for all the good that does. No one has been particularly subtle this last week. People can begin regrouping, packing up the camp and getting any wounded not already healed to the train.

However roughly half an hour later another message appears on their SCA.

Passenger Persephone has requested we remain on system System #86525656412355 for an additional day to further assist the people of Erda. The Voidtrecker Express will depart on the morning of Day Fifteen of the month of Kazoo.

The train remains where it is, so the voidtreckers can use its facilities. There is definitely a lot that can be done to assist those of this world and the citizens will welcome any helping hands.

After an extra day they finally depart, returning to the void once more.

(OOC Note: Once the wards are up any characters who are demonic in nature will not be able to enter the city either!)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yes?

[He's still very genuinely confused.] ...Because I can help- because I knew how to help. Using the air a certain way meant that I could get there fastest, and help expose the stone best- and it was really close for them, too.

I don't want to think about what would have happened if I hadn't done something...

...But...I also always go with Red Team, [He adds with a raised brow.] No one said it was a problem...

[ No, because half of the red team have rocks for brains when it comes to fighting, she almost says-- but then realises that's kind of unfair towards the red team.

Even if some of them truly just have nothing but rocks for brains.

Still, she's not sure how to convey the concept that Children Fighting Is Bad to Emporio when apparently no one else has bothered to do so. Not even that girl in charge of red? She usually looked like she at least had her shit together! Ugh. ]

Emporio.. [ Alice pinches the bridge of her nose. ] How old are you?

Mnh? 11?

[It's not spoken as if he doesn't know- though oddly, he'll be in for a surprise when he goes to the train again and sees '12' on the roster- but rather, a question of why that matters.] I...know there aren't a lot of kids in these fights, but I really do mean it when I say I'm okay..! Things here haven't...

[...Hmmm.] ...Nothing's been like at home, here. ...You can back out, or get help.

It's hard to tell though. How you feel.

[ Alice says it first, but then realises it's not really the most clear way to word things. So her eyebrows momentarily knit together as she has to contemplate how to explain this. ]

.. right away, I mean. Usually you don't realise how much growing up that way messes you up until you're much older. Doing these sorts of things can have a huge effect on you.

I'm pretty sure that's already happened if that's the case...

[Just thinking about how things went at home, at least.] And...

...I'd feel worse I think, if something happened, and I knew I could've done something.

[ Wow. Here Alice is, slowly starting to feel like those annoying lecturing adults she always hated when she was little. Sorry mom, dad, Lizzie.. She should have listened to you guys more with what she knows now, instead of being a rebellious kid.. ]

You're all the same.

[ This doesn't seem mad, at the very least.

Instead the look in Alice's eyes is just sad. How come this is something you only understand when you get older? ]

You're in such a rush to grow up. [ Wanting to be useful and help far before they should have to. Trying to solve the problems that adults should only solve.

Then again, it's the train's fault for dragging these kids into this in the first place. Alice is well aware of that - and she won't forgive it for this. ]

[He's....

...Confused.] Huh?

...Wait...I don't understand- why is...

Why is wanting to help people wanting to grow up faster? I... [He chews his lip, frowning.] ...I know I don't...know a lot about how others my age would be at home...but why is that what makes it like this?

[The fact is, he's seen more children his age here, than ever at home. He's done more childish things here, than ever at home. He can't find the line, for that very reason.

He's never seen it for himself.]

[ Alice frowns.

She's well aware that a lot of people here come from strange circumstances. She's not really an exception to that rule herself. But what Emporio is saying right now is something she hadn't stopped to consider yet. ]

What do you mean? [ What the heck happened to Emporio back home? ] Why wouldn't you know what children usually would be living like?

[Hoo, this is about to get... ...very awkward isn't it. The boy looks at least a little bit uncomfortable, if only because there is now the reminder that things were not good in his life.

Never a fun thing to admit aloud.] ...I didn't know other kids until I came to the train, [He finally says after a moment.]

...Honestly... ...I didn't get to talk to a lot of people at all. There were a few, but they were all adults, and...

[...and well. Now they're all gone, so he's not going to think about that.]

[ She doesn't know how that's possible. After all, Alice can think of many ways. She herself was separated from other children pretty soon in her own life, after all. But exactly because those circumstances were so painful, she doesn't want to ask Emporio about his own right now. ]

Then.. trust me. [ Not that all kids in London are well off, but-- ] I know what they're usually like. Children don't usually fight. They're not being shoved to the frontlines of danger like this. Children.. they're supposed to be able to play, to not have to worry about these sorts of things. That's an adult's job.

[He definitely is listening. He really is. But by the end...] ...Playing on the train...it's nice. I've had fun learning how to play games, and I like being able to pick things to watch, or read...

...but...

[He shakes his head- not defiant exactly, but instead perhaps sad.] I can't stand by if I know I can help. I can't. That...

[Definitely sad. His eyes now well with tears.] ...That's as bad as me letting someone die.

[ Well.

Look what you did now, Alice. The kid is about to burst into tears, just because you felt the need to speak up to him. Alice can immediately feel the familiar scolding voice in her head, born out of all the things people said to her, once upon a time - that she can't heal anything, only hurt. That she ruins everything. That she's a terrible influence.

Proven time and time again, huh. ]

.. Sorry.

[ The word is said more quietly. Alice takes a step back. If she can't fix the situation, if she's only making it worse, she should just remove herself from it. She is the destructive force here, after all. ]

Forget I said anything.

Huh-

Wait-

[Oh no. Oh no-

And on top of things, she's backing away-

He wipes his eyes, trying to set himself right again.] Wait-!

...You didn't say anything wrong..! I mean... ...you weren't thinking of it as taking away help, right? ...you just...

...you just want to make sure I'm safe, right?

[ Alice awkwardly looks away. Emporio is spot on, but it feels kind of weird to admit to that now. It's not like she can make sure anyone is safe in the end, after all. When has she ever succesfully saved anyone? ]

I can't believe I'd be the only one.

[ Who would speak up about this. Who'd want him to be safe. Who would see a child on the battlefields and not at least be mildly concerned for them. What are all the adults on the red team doing, that not a single one of them has ever told Emporio he deserves a chance to just be a kid? ]

The only one who wants to make sure I'm safe..?

...I mean...Everyone makes sure I go out with at least a handful of potions, so that's a start, [he admits, holding up his small ghost pouch.] And I definitely have to check in regularly...

...I think Light ends up talking to more adults than kids about these things. It feels like people 'grown up' forget they might be able to get hurt too, [the boy continues with a small laugh. He doesn't quite catch what Alice means, naturally.

But part of that is because... ...those are talks he gets on the train itself. For that matter, many haven't even considered him to be someone who hasn't been taking time to 'be a kid'- the missions are the only time he's not being one, it seems.]

No, it's..

[ It's not that. Making sure he's safe is a good step, at least, but it should be more than that. He still shouldn't be in the middle of an active battlezone. He still shouldn't be going with the red team of all places, especially when there literally are parts of missions he could involve himself in without having to see a single battle.

But how can she convince a child of that who has never known anything else? Who she just seems to upset with talk of this? Maybe she just has to talk some sense into red team adults instead. ]

It's complicated. [ She looks away. ] You'll understand it when you're older.

[Annnd...there's a grimace.]

...Can you try? [To explain, he means. He pauses, before adding-] ...Even if I might not completely get it... ...I don't think I want to wait until I'm older to try understanding something that's important to you. I...

...You're my friend, right? [He thinks of her as one anyway.] So if I leave it at that instead of trying... ...That's just as bad as if I ignored something I could help with anywhere else, right? Because I'd be ignoring this.

[ Alice lets out a long, slow breath.

Then she steps towards him again, lowering herself slightly so she's on a more even level with him. ]

You shouldn't want to understand since it's important to me. [ She's not worth it. Anyone's interest, anyone's investment. ] You should want to understand it since it's important to you. Or.. it should be, anyway.

[ But Emporio never got the chance to realise that. ]

Emporio.. [ Alice starts, careful. Because she knows the answer to this is likely to turn out very, very awkward. ] Do you know your parents..?

[That just...makes him frown.] ...It's important to me because it's important to you, [he insists steadily.] ...Can't that be enough, if you matter to me as my friend..?

[Ah...but then, she asks that question. And while it's not exactly a new hurt, it's something he...knows should be one, he supposes. Something that makes him feel more bittersweet than despairing, because he only ever had one parent to begin with and-] ...My mom... ...my mom didn't have anyone like that, [He starts. Nothing like a proper husband, anyway. That much he's sure of.]

...And... ...she died when I was really small. [He remembers it too. Being too young to know more than the fact that she was leaving, bit by bit, after Pucci stole everything from her mind. He has one piece of her- had, rather, and he'd feel terrible asking the train to bring it there as a purchase- and the way he got that...

...he doesn't want to think about that any longer.] I knew her for a while, but...

[ Alice figured as much. If Emporio has never learned that there are supposed to be adults who take care of him, then there most likely never was a figure like that around for him, Alice thought. And it turns out to be true. Not that Alice blames his mom for it - if she died when he was that young, she must have been pretty sick, unable to take care of him. ]

When you're still as young as you are.. Your parents are supposed to take care of you. And if they aren't there, then another adult ought to do it.

[ Granted, she knows things don't always work out that way. That awful Bumby is the perfect example of how it's not supposed to go. But in theory, in an ideal world.. ]

You're too young to worry about big things. Like food, or protecting yourself, let alone protecting others. That's what your parents were supposed to do. It's what my parents did for me, until they died as well. [ See, that's the difference. Even if Alice's parents died in such a sudden and awful way as well, she still had a good few years with them. She was younger then Emporio is now when they died, but she was old enough to remember them, to remember how they took care of her before everything went straight to hell. ]

...Jolyne sort of did that, [He says after a moment, looking to the side.] I...

...I don't really have to worry about things like food here though- so I haven't, if that helps. And... ...In a way I guess I still worry about staying safe but... ...it's not the same as feeling like I'm in danger, you know? It's more like when you put on a life jacket before going on the water, because you know that's how you stay safe enough to have fun.

[He only ever saw lifejackets in movies mind, but still.] Or how you know not to touch anything strange, or... ...other things, I guess.

[Things that...he'd see kids in movies doing, the few, few times they showed up. Stuff like that.]

...It's...if it's not okay, what happened before, I can't change any of that right? But...I promise, I'm not scared like that now- I'm doing things because I'm happy now. Not...

...Not because I have to worry. I'm worried about my friends, maybe. But...I don't think that kind of worry comes from being an adult. I think...even if I had parents who were still there, or looking after me, and my friends, I'd still sometimes worry about the people I cared about anyway, and try to do something...

[ There's nothing she can say.

Because Emporio can't understand. He might never understand now, just because his life has been so different from most. And whereas Alice felt like he may be young enough to still turn it around, it seems like it's already too late. She didn't want to see this happen to any kids after how it happened to her, after how she saw it happen to so many kids back in the orphanage..

.. but maybe sometimes there just isn't a choice. There's no way she's going to change his mind like this. She can tell. ]

Alright.

[ He's not her responsibility, anyway, she tries to tell herself.

It still hurts. ]

Take care, then.

[Emporio freezes in place. It feels like...something just cracked, somewhere. Alice is walking away instead, it...]

...

...I...

...will we get to have tea together, another time at least..? [he can't help but ask, his voice creaking just a little as he says it.]

[ Oh, Emporio, don't make that kind of face or use that tone. You'll break her heart.

It makes Alice quickly react, realising that she's giving him the wrong idea here, however unintentionally. ]

Of course. I.. We can have tea right now, if you want.

[ She's not going to deny him that, especially not when Alice is much weaker to kids than she pretends to be..

She bites her lower lip for a moment before deciding to just be honest for once, instead of burying every single feeling deep down within her. ]

It just feels like I am failing you.

You'd offered, and... [He smiles, however weakly.] ...I really like having tea with you.

...You haven't failed me at all, I promise that..! You... ...you know, I never had tea with anyone, before I go to the train. That's something you showed me- things like that...you haven't failed, because you've only been able to do better than before.

...I guess, it probably seems really small but... ...it really matters, even just doing that.

(no subject)

irrationally - 2021-04-22 19:13 (UTC) - Expand

I'd say that's a wrap...

seacub - 2021-04-25 14:16 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Will to Fight: Conclusion

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[emporio voice] `what do you mean missions arent age appropriate`

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(no subject)

I'd say that's a wrap...