middleofsomewhere | The Endless River

The Endless River

On the morning of day twenty one of the month of Kazoo there is a message on the ICP screens around the train. Their SCA's will light up the colour of the Void and show the following information.

World #398050 is a void nexus known locally as Tshering. As a void nexus this world has strong links with the void and the connection through worlds. World #398050 is home to the Endless River. Legends speak of this river being powerful enough to send thoughts from one heart to another across any distance. All that is needed is for you to know who it is you wish to reach.

On-board

The dressing carriage is open, filled with clothing best suited to a pleasant spring day. Light, airy and in a rainbow of joyful colours and florals. One closet is entirely filled with wide-brimmed hats bedecked with ribbons, feathers and ornaments. A stack of picnic baskets and containers filled with an alarming variety of passenger-suitable foodstuffs and flasked drinks sits in one corner, next to rolls of thick, weatherproof blankets in the four team colours.

The large box marked Do Not Use Yet, filled with small, empty jute bags, is hopefully still sat in the Luggage carriage, ready for passengers to grab handfuls of its contents as directed by the announcement.

Upon landing (after an appropriate countdown), the train remains on the surface, its carriages partially curved to form a gathering site for the day. Welcome to Tshering, the eighth void nexus!

A Day for Picnics

Tshering, system #398050, is a strange place, only habitable by grace of the passengers' SCAs. The sky is shot through with colours, a cascade of sunsets, and through it, the void shimmering through it in seams like a child's painting of the milky way. Still, there's a beauty to the chaotic mash of colours that soaks through its landscape, and in the shelter of the forests of towering funghi that dot its surface, the Void can go unseen by its visitors.

The temperature seems mild, suitable for the provided clothing, and if there are weather patterns around the world they've taken the day off. The funghi are sturdy enough that what air flow there is doesn't disturb their stalks, and carved grooves and holds in some of the larger examples indicate that climbing them to sit atop their glowing crowns is eminently possible, and, in fact, encouraged.

the Endless River

The Endless River is a font of pure chaos, flowing from a multitude of small rivulets across the area to a central reservoir, from which it pours directly upwards, away from Tshering's surface and out of sight, beyond the world's atmosphere.

Anything bagged and placed within the Endless River will also flow upwards and soon be out of sight, passing, presumably, into the Void. Scattered across the surface of Tshering are small, glittering pebbles, as described in the announcement.

The stones are pleasantly cool to the touch, and all passengers need to do is feel. Messages can be in any form that the Voidtreckers wish. Perhaps words, perhaps feelings, perhaps an image from their mind into the stone. Perhaps a mixture. Once they begin their message the stone will glow slightly and continue to glow as they secure it in the bag and cast it into the river. They will feel, almost instinctively, that they need to focus as they do so, thinking of the person they wish to reach all the while.

There are plenty of bags and many more stones; passengers will not be limited in their sendings.

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"Secret's safe with me." And while it's a little embarrassing, and they're perfectly happy not to bring it up again ever, it's also a little sad. Being cut off from-- what, his people's version of marriage? That's horrible. Certainly a thing they can see slave owners wanting to do, though. If they even actually understood what it meant, when they did it.

At least arms don't really have any cultural significance. Jesus. "Would you go back?" they ask. "If you could. Back to Centauri."

"Nah. I had plenty o' chances. But I was fine just gettin' me a few reminders here an' there. I'm Centaurian enough to care but I'm Ravager enough I'd rather be travellin' than tryin' to make myself fit like a bent outa shape puzzle piece."

Though sometimes he does think he'd like to see it again.

"What about you? Where do you wanna go if this shit ever gives you an out?"

They've thought about this. Going back to the world they came from is... not an option. Only if they somehow went back to the exact moment they'd died in, and somehow avoided dying again, and managed to go back somewhere close enough to save Steve....

And Beacon might not be an option, either. They don't know if it survived the World Eater, and even if it did, it might not be hospitable to the dead anymore. "I don't know. If I could be sure it's possible, back to Beacon, maybe. I might just stay here, if Beacon's coming back to life or if it died the rest of the way. My people might not be there anymore."

"You really did like that place, didn't ya?"

He grins over at him, but it's not one of his meaner ones. It's just a little smile.

"Well, I hope ya make it back there then, an' you get your people back."

"Maybe someday. It was home, you now. My only home in the world I came from is. Was. From seventy years ago. It's gone now. So Beacon is what I have." They look back in the direction of the train. "And here, I suppose. There's good people here."

They aren't close enough for a shoulder bump, but they can swing one foot over to bump Yondu's foot. Meaning: like you, you big softie.

He looks down at the strange shoes he's wearing. Sneakers at the moment, actually. With laces done up in the wrong kind of knot because he doesn't wear this shit. "Eh. There's assholes, too."

He'll swear up and down he's one of the assholes but he'll accept that he can be good people to the ones he likes now.

"You gonna say anything at that damn river?" He says 'that damn river' like it's a bastard who owes him money and keeps dodging him to avoid paying it back. It's that kind of contempt.

They give him a sidelong look full of amusement for the tone. "Yeah, I think I am. I've got a couple people who. If they're still alive in some way. Who would need to hear from me, I think." They're still kind of percolating on what they want to say to those couple people, to cause the least worry while still being truthful.

Of course, they're not sure either person they most want to contact are still alive, so.

That begs the question though: "Are you?"

"Nah." And then par for the course, the fucking asshole who's a drag and has no happy stories, just shakes his head.

"Day before I died, ran into some of my old team. In fact the guy what saved me an' one of our teammates. He told me when I died, he'd not even mourn me. Wouldn't even show up at my funeral. Probably didn't figure it'd not be but a bit later. Thing is, I still care about 'em enough that I ain't gonna put myself in their heads where I ain't wanted."

He frowns again.

"Might send somethin' pissy to someone I don't like, though, if I can think of someone worth it."

They're sure he has some happy stories in him somewhere. They're not unsympathetic to the idea of having no one to mourn you, though. There was nobody except maybe Steve who would've mourned them, before they made their new friends in Beacon. And now, here.

They nod to the story, thoughtfully. "You wouldn't even want to send something to your boy?"

"Nah, I said all the important bits to his face on my way out. I think I got that part right. Didn't get a whole lot right, but I did that bit."

He sounds it, too. And he knows it. He saw the moment Peter had thought he was a disappointment, didn't understand why he'd been forsaken by someone set to love him. So Yondu spent his last breaths making sure that Peter didn't carry the shit through his life that Yondu had. He'd told him that he was wanted, that he'd made him proud, and that he was sorry.

He'd done that right.

"Yeah, I think I can say I wanna leave him with that." He looks over at Soldat, finally, a touch less of a sadsack.

"Who are you plannin' on contactin'?"

"I've got two people in mind for sure." They look out over the mushroom cap forest and the void beyond. "One dame named Misty, from Beacon. She was." They dredge up a wistful smile. "I made her my handler for months, poor gal, until I realized I didn't need handlers anymore. She didn't even know what that meant, not really, but she helped me, and we turned into friends, instead. She's. She's important to me."

They lace metal and flesh fingers together, toying with the metal thumb, a very small fidget. "If she's still there. If she didn't die with the world. She's probably worried sick. I just want to make sure she knows I'm okay, and she can. Move on, if she can. Go home, maybe. Not blame herself, thinking I died or something."

"How long has it been since you seen her?"

She sounds like she was patient. Just the type of person Soldat probably needed back then. How close were they? Soldat never seemed the sort for romance, too much in their head, but the way they speak of her it's almost like a friendly kinda romance.

"Sounds like a goodun to send. Worth doin'. Who was the othern'?"

Edited 2021-04-19 07:15 (UTC)

Frankly, she's somewhere between platonically married and twin sister, right up there with (their memories of) Steve (since the current Steve on the train is... complicated), but Soldat doesn't have the proper terminology or level of self-awareness to describe it. She's just Important. "Just since I wound up here. Well and I guess about two hours before that. She was down in the missile silo, I was up on the ground handling defense."

They shake their head a little. "So her, yeah. And Steve. My Steve, the one who... is probably dead, not the one here on the train. We're from slightly different universes, him and me. In mine, I died. In his, I saved him from drowning. I don't really think mine's alive, but if he is, he deserves an apology. Since I'm the one who near killed him."

Not that he knew a whole lot about Steve, but he hadn't ever had that kind of friend. Stakar came the closest, and he'd spoiled that. But Soldat and this other fella had their own kinda special thing.

"Hope he made it."

And that Soldat's apology means something. Even if Yondu can't quite apologize for his own sins; not that he wouldn't, if he saw them face to face again. But he can't just throw himself in their path.

"I think he'd know you ain't had no choice in how you was actin'. Not sayin' not to do it. But you cain't keep apologizin' for what they made you into. Maybe ever' once in a while just say, 'you wouldn't have if it were up to you'. Give yourself that."

There's only one marginally healthy thing Yondu has about him, and that's that he can recognize that what the Kree did to him wasn't his fault. What followed after was (and oh does he know that) but before he was freed he had no choice. Because he'd been told what Kyubey did recently, after hearing the stories of unwilling sacrifice from goddamn babes, it's worth saying to Soldat.

"Maybe." Soldat's had people telling them it wasn't their fault for a year and a half now. They understand, on one level, intellectually, that they had no choice. They're a weapon, not a person, and weapons fire where they're aimed. That doesn't change their feelings much, though, and the memory of hitting Steve in the face so many times still hurts. The memories of a lot of their missions still hurt. "I still think he might need to hear it. Even if just to know I'm still out here somewhere and remember who I was, now."

Hell. Maybe the Steve here might need to hear it. They haven't really talked about the helicarrier much-- or much, period. It's uncomfortable.

That's not the correct thing to know. Unfortunately, that is also the thing that Yondu knows about himself even if he's in control of where that weapon is fired, so he's not entirely helpful.

"Then it'd be best. If you you think it'd help 'im out."

Sometimes apologizing was more about that than feeling guilty yourself.

There's other people to work on that particular problem, don't worry, Yondu.

Soldat is quiet a moment, then half their mouth twists up in a dry grin. "You did give me an idea for a third, though. My last handler-- real one, not one from Beacon. I bet I could manage to work up some good scorn for that asshole."

"Well they sure as shit didn't tell us we needed to be nice about what we went an' said!"

He chuckles a little at that, 'cause that handler deserves a mindful. Like thirty big ol' rocks of hate chucked right into his head. If not in real life, then burnin' words from that river.

He really, really does deserve a mindful. Soldat is warming a little to the idea, now. "I'm gonna have to think about just what to say. Hell, even just telling him I've got no handlers now would piss him off so bad." And maybe be a little thrilling. They don't know that they could be so bold, if they actually saw Alexander Pierce again, but they can imagine doing it.

"Tell 'im ya ain't got no handlers an' now you got buddies that can find folks behind brick walls an' still hit 'em."

Not really. But he wants to remind Soldat they do have friends and back-up. They can say their piece. Sure, sometimes they're violent friends. Gotta get some benefit outa havin' this blue bastard all latched onto 'im, and all the other folks.

It's hard to think about Pierce too much in general; harder to think about him when this blue bastard is being fucking adorable right there, Soldat discovers. They reach over to give Yondu's shoulder a gentle, fond sort of punch. "I've got the best buddies."

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The Endless River

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