middleofsomewhere | So Familiar a Gleam: Diagnet!

... Okay but probably don't dance at strip bars, I don't think that's gonna really help in the long run?

Edited (it's just getting dumb i'm sorry) 2021-07-13 18:57 (UTC)

[ ... ]

Do you think I'm hot enough to dance at a strip bar?

Huh? Sure, you're hot, but you want to get mostly naked for strangers?! I thought people had more of a modesty issue with nudity than that...

( weirdly, he doesn't actually feel he has one himself, and that makes him frown??? heck is he a nudist deep down inside IS THIS HIS DEEP DARK SECRET FROM HIMSELF??? )

I mean I have nothing against it and it's crazy good money but also comes with annoying people being all around drooling like they forgot how to use their mouths to swallow and that just makes me want to deck everyone so maybe that's just a personal thing?

That does sound like a personal thing.

[ No offense meant, Jingyi. But you'd definitely be voted "most likely to punch someone in the face" in any high school yearbook. It's a sentiment that apparently radiates even through text. ]

But thanks. For thinking I'm hot, I mean! It's kind of nice to hear? Do you think I'd hear that often at a strip bar? That might actually make it kind of worth it.

Some people are just begging to be hit, that's all I'm saying.

( And to his credit he has much more restraint and is much more bark than bite, because outright fighting is Not Good, Generally Speaking. So instead he ear worms people with annoying songs. Petty vengeance. )

Okay, wait, what? Now you're considering working at a strip bar for compliments? Doesn't that thing called Jinnigram work for random strangers saying hey, looking good, can I lick that? Which is weird by the way, why does anyone want to say they want to lick your face. Don't lick faces. We're not dogs.

Anyway, if you want I can send you a text reminder or something every day until you get bored of hearing it, maybe don't take up pole dancing because you want people to state the obvious?

( ROOOOOXANNNE YOU DON'T HAVE TO SELL YOUR BODY TO THE NIIIIGHT )

[ But Jingyi, what if some of us are so insecure about ourselves that they need constant positive attention to feel okay!! What then! ]

You really think it's that obvious? [ B-Bro. Pal. No bromo. ]

Besides, pole dancing just objectively looks really cool. I'd love to do that.

( ... Dear skies get that constant positive attention feedback loops and build a support network of friends for it??? Maybe??? Don't ask him, his self-confidence is very difficult to shake most the time! )

Yes? Why bother saying things if they're not true?

( He's pretty sure these can be obvious facts? People are hot or they're not, right? Or else they're fevered. Also for once he's not caught offguard by the fact everyone's got short hair, what's with that. )

Yeah, it's great exercise too, plus it's hilarious if you can pull off a move and everyone's all "what I had no idea you could do that!" Though, uh, don't try it with random poles, unless you're really, really sure they're anchored into the sidewalk. Like, super anchored. There's a reason most dance poles are bolted at top and bottom, even at home, I guess.

( speaking from "dumb things I have definitely done because eff you that's why" and being goadable over silly things. he can't even remember why this is an incident that's happened, but it feels like it did? or was it something else... naaaah. )

.. This sounds like it has a story behind it, man.

[ It's way too detailed to not have a story behind it. Not that Inigo is judging, mind you! It's more just that he wants to say-- ]

I wouldn't mind seeing you pole dance though. I bet you would look really hot too.

[ ... ]

It's okay if I'm saying it, right? I'm not some skeevy weird person at a strip bar. [ So clearly that makes it perfectly fine to think the idea of a guy pole dancing is hot. Obviously. Clearly. ]

I can't even remember all of it, and some kind of bet was involved, or maybe a dare? Either way, challenge accepted.

( Jingyi, forever helpful: )

I feel like when you're not harassing someone at their job it's called flirting, so yeah, sure, it's fine! Flirt as freely as you like. Anyway, ( SUPER HELPFUL MOMENT ASIDE??? IN ADDITION TO??? ) it's not like I'm highly trained in pole dancing, so thank you for the blind faith in how good my arms and legs look wrapped around metal, lol

[ Thanks, bro, for telling him it's ok to flirt with you. Surely he'll remember this. ]

Well.. If you ever have time, we could go to some pole dancing lessons together. :) [ A TOTALLY NORMAL SUGGESTION.

He doesn't even mean that in a flirty way, it's more just that he thinks it's fun, but is too shy to go by himself!! ]

( Jingyi just blinks and snorts, since yes, he does read it as somewhat flirty, but also as: )

You want a pole dancing studio rec, huh?

( ... just straight up being buttered up for something. Which frankly, isn't that flirting? It's totally flirting. Flirting's all about charming people to get your way!

... It's why he sucks at it, and he sees no reason to unsuck at it, so. Anyway. )

Sure, whatever, if you use a student ID at the uni community centre you get to take any of the classes free, and it counts for a plus one. Sizhui's not been using it, and there's usually some kind of pole class going on? Level one and up.

Then let's do it!!

[ Talk about impulsive decisions, huh. There sure hasn't been a lot of thought that was put into this, other than the fact that pole dancing seems kind of fun to Inigo, but that he'd be too shy to do it by himself - so roping Jingyi into this? It's practically the perfect chance.

And he can't pass up that perfect chance. ]

Now let's just hope we get to do it before those eeeevil Voidtreckers take over.

( impulsive is perhaps too much an earmark of Jingyi's life, because he sees nothing strange about this. that, and distractions! are actually nice, given a. the sky is falling into chaos pretty bad but he can't directly do a thing about it, but more importantly b. baby bro just started dating. it's the worst. some pig is rooting up his carefully raised cabbage! )

Ugh, whatever, if you listen to the news, they'll have us saying the Voidtreckers are bringing the end of days in all that weird sky business. Whiiiiich if that's the case...

( there's a pause, because it takes him way longer than it should to search for what he vaguely knows exists: )

Okay, found it, looks like the drop in sessions for beginners are usually tomorrow? Early evening, or again later, with two different instructors.

[ It's only now, in this very moment, that Inigo finally seems to realise a crucial problem with this plan.

Sure, there are a lot of problems to be found here, but Inigo is thinking of a very, very specific one. One that he doesn't realise until he reads the word instructor.

Oh no. ]

These instructors. Are they men or women?

[ S-Sweating internally while he's writing these words.. ]

( Prepare to Die, Inigo. )

Uuuh I think the one later at night is a lady, but no idea on the earlier one.

( Iiiit's a man. Who is, understandably, in very good shape. Very attractive.

Yes, Inigo. Go to class. Try to climb a pole while being instructed by that. Surely that won't be distracting. Especially not if said instructor is helping correct holds! Posture! Who knows! )

We can't go to the later one.

[ It's a problem. A huge problem.

And see, the problem isn't even that Inigo wants a hunky instructor. Not that it it wouldn't be nice, but it's not the main reason that's driving him to say this.

No, it's entirely his fear of girls. Oh god, even thinking of having a female instructor touch him is making his palms sweaty. ]

You have time in your schedule for the earlier one, right?

Please? :(

[ Save him from Death, Jingyi. You're his only hope. ]

( Probably in his normal frame of mind he'd get that better, but that would have more to do with his clan keeping the binary largely separated outside of night hunts, so. Here he assumes while the instructors matter, there's no need spending much time thinking about why. Who needs to? The guy'd explain himself if he wanted, it's no trouble for Jingyi; going home earlier is what it means in the end, and thus being around for Sizhui. Life expectations complete. )

Sure, fine by me. Means I get home earlier in the evening since I'm not working delivery tomorrow evening, so see you at the earlier one, huh?

Yes, see you there!!

I seriously owe you one, so let's grab some ice cream after class, my treat! You can take it home with you if you want.

[ You know. To share. ]

Huh? Not sure why you think you owe me, but sure, sounds good. My lil' bro loves vanilla so anywhere should be fine, thank you in advance!

( #familyvalues

also ooc: did you want to handwave this happened or actually thread it out or THE SKIES FELL NO ONE LEARNED POLE DANCING or mysterious option d )

(ooc: please i am NOT GOING TO PASS UP ON POLE DANCING.

with the event already moving on we can probably handwave but, i'd definitely love to say this actually happened. they went to pole dancing class together. they can be like oh god WHAT HAPPENED once they get back to the train post-mission.)

( ooc: cracks up, sounds like a plan to me! Jingyi likely had his first breakthrough there and literally fell off the pole at some point, but aside from going randomly red eared (with the thought that this is probably the most clan precepts he's managed to go in the face of all at once in possibly forever) the illusion will drag him back in and he'll just go "idk man something distracted me" about it

post mission on train both going WHAT HAPPENED in this collective fever dream, a void story!!! )

So Familiar a Gleam: Diagnet!

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coward i can make it dumber!!!

we can up this higher just watch

to infinite idiocy AND BEYOND

buzz lightyear will be so proud

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