middleofsomewhere | (closed) because even if i end up nowhere

Entry tags:

(closed) because even if i end up nowhere

Who: Madoka and Ignis
When: Sometime during the mission.. Maybe around the middle or so?
Where: In the tunnels
What: Ignis is being dutiful as always. Madoka really doesn't want him to be alone. She has all the determination of a small child that says it's definitely going to stay up until midnight for New Years and then can't help but fall asleep at 10 PM.
Warnings: Cavity-inducing sweetness, probably.

Really, it's no surprise that when they've finally found a spot where they're able to take a break and nap without having to deal with everything that apparently dwells in these tunnels it's of course Ignis who insists he'll stay awake to be on guard for all of them. It's no surprise to Madoka either - she knows just how responsible the man is. He's always been looking out for the team, so of course he'd be doing so even now.

And while it's admirable.. Madoka also can't help but worry. They've already been hard at work - traversing the tunnels, rounding up the people, dealing with danger and cold.. Surely Ignis must be feeling tired with everything he's been doing so far. And yet this way he can't even get a full break in. Not to mention it'd probably be kind of lonely to just sit there and watch everyone else attempt to sleep, right..?

So even though the girl is definitely feeling very, very tired herself, she's already made up her mind. If Ignis can deal with not resting just yet, then she can too! All she has to do is just gather herself and try really hard to stay awake and keep him company. She can totally do that. She's a big girl!

Madoka moves across the people trying to find spots to make themselves comfortable to try and rest until she's right by Ignis' side, and then she sits down next to him, offering him a smile.

"Um.. Mister Ignis, I'll stay here and be on guard duty together with you for a bit, okay..?" She has a feeling he may protest that notion and tell her to rest, considering he's always thinking so much of everyone else, so she quickly continues-- "I-I'm fine, I promise! I just.. don't want you to be all alone.."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He was tired and cold. But he was half afraid that if he went to sleep he'd end up freezing to death and he had to make sure he didn't need to be rescued again. It was nothing to him to watch over the team and he used the fire from his daggers to light campfires. There were so many people they'd found cold lost and hungry. But this was why he'd over prepared even past his own brand of reckoning that he'd done more than enough.

As he prepared a bit of coffee, one of the town's children came up and said they were hungry, so Ignis immediately gave the child the snack he'd set aside for himself. With an unexpected thank you and hug, the boy ran off as if he had a prize in his hands. It made the advisor smiled and got down to the serious business of coffee.

To his surprise, Madoka shows up and he smiled at seeing the tired face even as she offered him a smile. To be honest it was on his mind to tell her she should go to bed but he couldn't make her. Hell he'd carry her tomorrow if he had to.

Decision made, he looked at his resting team and began rummaging around in his pack. Then he brought out a bag of finely ground brown powder. "In that case, I'll make you some hot chocolate since you're so thoughtful to keep me company."

He was touched beyond words at this girl's bravery and thoughtfulness.

There's some relief when he doesn't tell her to rest. And what he instead promises to do in return makes the girl's eyes light up happily. Madoka claps her hands in excitement, but very softly - like she's making sure to not make too much noise. She doesn't want to interrupt some of the people who are resting or wake those who are sleeping up..

But she looks happy all the same. "Wah..! Hot chocolate sounds so great, thank you!"

Not to mention it might help her warm up a bit considering the circumstances. Even dressing warmly feels like it wasn't enough to stay warm in these surroundings, really.. Although Madoka hasn't complained about the cold for even a moment. They're all suffering through it, after all, so she knows she just has to endure it too.

"Mister Ignis, does it ever get this cold back home where you're from too..?"

Tony would've surely hugged this girl by now and Ignis sighed, pushing the thought of that man's face out of his mind. Seeing how happy she was over something as simple as hot chocolate made him happy of course. "I thought you might be agreeable."

Rummaging around in one of his packs, the advisor pulled out a cup and began filling it so as to prepare the beverage for Madoka. Keeping her and the team warm was his first priority, and of course food and safety came in as well. This cold went right through him but he had to be strong for his team and keep them safe first. There were no exceptions at all on this.

Turning at the girl's question he tried to smile. "Not unless we go travelling to it." His life was mostly spent indoors anyway unless he had to go out for one reason or another. "We'll be out of it soon enough and then we can get back to cooking."

Hm, so Ignis' world is probably like her own in that regard, right..? Madoka is sure you'd have to travel to some really cold place to feel this kind of cold where she's from too. Maybe even up in the northern parts of Japan it doesn't get this cold and you'd have to go all the way to the North Pole..

The second part of what he says snaps her out of those thoughts, and she quickly shakes her head. She doesn't want Ignis to assume she's complaining about the cold.

"A-Ah, I know. We only have to bear it for a while, so it's fine." She's so determined to prove she can at least not make things worse for the team. And if bearing the cold is what she has to do for that, she can do it. "I just.. I hadn't heard much about the place you come from yet, mister Ignis. So that made me wonder if you were used to this kind of cold."

Green eyes looked over at the pink haired girl. Had he said something wrong? So he tried a smile and poured himself a cup of coffee. "It was more of a pleasant experience when all we had to do was make a snowman resemble Mister Stark to be certain." And there was no way Ignis could ever tell her how grateful he was to her for her kindness and thoughtfulness in sharing those things with him.

His smile only grew brighter with how she was politely inquiring about his home. He'd kept it a secret pretty much from everyone but Tony, except to share snippets which of course when it came down to it, revealed very little. And for a moment he pictured himself introducing the lads to Madoka, Tony, Romeo and his team and friends. Wouldn't they be surprised really..

Reaching into his pocket, he drew out his phone and showed her the picture of the chocobo and the stuffed moogle. He didn't have the heart to tell her it was used as a monster decoy, so he left that part out. Giving her the names of the creatures in turn, he even showed her the picture of the cactuar.

"These are some of the denizens of where I live." No, he wasn't showing her the monsters.

Madoka definitely agrees on that first sentiment. If only this was a mission where they could just build snowmen again, or have fun in the snow in some other way.. It'd be nice to have something lighthearted for once where there aren't literal dozens of people's lives on the line, even just aside from their own.

Thankfully she doesn't have to dwell for too long on any negative thoughts though. She curiously looks over when Ignis shows her those pictures on his phone. She seems more interested with every picture he shows her, and the young girl seems to study them with genuine curiosity. It's the first time he's shared something from his world with her, after all. And it all looks so different from what she's used to!

"Uwah.. They're like really big chickens! And that's.. a cactus person? Look, he's posing for the picture!"

He didn't want to tell her how nasty the cactuar actually were in battle so he just smiled. " They do seem to have some rather peculiar habits."

Swiping again, Ignis showed her the snowman and gave her the phone for a moment as he went her the phone as a young father approached him, asking for another fire to be started.

"I'm sorry sir, to be bothering your time with your daughter." The advisor just smiled and shook his head. "Its no trouble at all." He hadn't even bothered to correct the man because of his own personal feelings.

Within moments he was back next to Madoka.

At first the girl is completely content with looking at the pictures on the phone for a moment. She knows Ignis must be busy helping out people, after all, so she's fine with staying on the background for a moment while he's fulfilling his task. She wouldn't want to bother him during it. Besides, looking at the photos is kind of fun anyway, so she's content enough.

But at the same time she can't help but catch the conversation Ignis and the man are having, and something the young father says makes her look up from the phone in surprise. She doesn't say anything - she's much too polite for it, after all - but once the other man leaves and Ignis returns to her side, Madoka looks up to him with wide eyes.

"Mister Ignis, he thought we were related, didn't he..!"

Honestly, she was just chalking up the fact that Ignis didn't bother to deny it that maybe that fact just didn't register with him somehow..

Coming back it looked as if something was on her mind and before he could ask she came out and asked him about the conversation. Well there it was.

"Yes so he did." Ignis said, playing it off because he wasn't sure what to say. If Madoka wanted to talk further about it they of course could but he didn't want to push her at all so he didn't.

He wondered what she thought about it or how it made her feel but he wasn't sure he should ask. But he smiled as if nothing was amiss and played his poker face. After all she already had a family and a last name. Still, Ignis would still adopt her and have Tony as her other parent since that's who her parents had sounded like to his own ears. But that was probably supposed to be between Tony and Madoka so he wouldn't reveal it.

Wait, so he did notice it himself as well? .. then maybe Ignis just didn't think it was a big deal? Madoka guesses it isn't, since it was just a misunderstanding, but it's a kind of surprising and flustering one to her.. then again, Ignis always seems so calm and collected. It's probably just her getting flustered over nothing again, huh?

"O-Oh.." She says at first, her cheeks growing a little pink despite the cold. "I wonder why.. Do we look like we're related..?"

Maybe it's just since he's taking care of you like a father would, Madoka. But apparently she's a little too oblivious to reach that conclusion herself right now.

"Well, I guess papa is really good at cooking as well.. A-And he's really kind and gentle. That's all just like you, mister Ignis."

"I do believe its simply a matter of parents seeing their reflection in others, whether its reality or not." He smiled and looked at Madoka. "Still, it was a flattering comparison."

Ignis himself would chalk it up to being the team leader and taking care of his 'kids'.

His head cocked to the side as he listened to Madoka compare his hobbies and nature to her own father which this too was flattering.

And so there was another gentle smile. " That is a high honor to be compared to someone you love so much. Thank you."

That made his day really.

"Huh? I.. It's just the truth!" Not that she isn't glad that he's apparently happy to hear that. Ignis being happy is always good, he deserves to be happy all the time for how much work he's always putting into the team. But she's just stating the truth here. Ignis does have a lot of good qualities.

"Besides.."

She pauses for a moment, but then suddenly quickly shakes her head. She's trying to pull herself together here, since it takes a lot of effort on Madoka's part before she can be even slightly bold. And she knows she has to be bold here in order to make a point here. Ignis deserves to know how much he's appreciated!

"I-- I of course care for you too, mister Ignis! You're always so nice to all of us, and taking care of us.. Especially me." Since she knows she needs the most looking after out of the blue team. But that's not something she's voicing out loud - this is a moment of appreciation for him, not a moment of external self-depreciation. "While I'm here, you're really important to me too! A.. And I'm sure a lot of people think that about you."

At the very least their whole team. Because really, who can't like Ignis.

She's certainly puzzling him here and Ignis has a feeling that this conversation is really important somehow to both of them. But then Madoka seems to get a little braver and he can't help but smile. He knew that bravery was in there somewhere.

This smile was now half full of surprise and delight at hearing her say that she cared for him. It choked him up some, because even though there was no way that he minded looking after her and the team, it was so very touching to hear. That went double for Madoka's words about other people thinking nice things of him as well.

It just wasn't in the advisor's nature to think about what he deserved to gain because doing for others was its own reward. And it was hard for him to express his emotions but for this beautiful girl he was trying. His fists clenched at his side and he took a deep breath, knowing what he would say might change things for the better or they could take a worse turn, it was a slippery slope indeed.

"I.." Ignis tried again, feeling the words stick in his throat. He shook his head and tried again. "Of course..I care for you and I will always be there to protect you." He breathed, trying to get the last words out and his green eyes leveled at her, speaking a painful truth that went right to his heart. "You are..like the daughter I'll never have."

Edited 2020-01-25 06:10 (UTC)

It's a little surprising to her to see him struggling like that to say something. Madoka really can't help but wonder what it is that he wants to say - she's never seen him before. At most she's seen him slightly surprised before, but now he looks like he's having some real difficulty with something..

But Madoka is patient enough wait until he can speak up. She stares at him with a curious gaze until Ignis speaks up. And then he does, and she's about to thank him for his first words with a smile--

Until the last part comes. The blush on her cheeks instantly spreads to her entire face, because that's just about the last thing she expected him to say. He sees her as a daughter. Ignis does? But he's so cool and mature and capable and amazing, how could he think that about her when she's nothing special at all? But despite about a thousand 'why' questions popping up in Madoka's head in a second, she doesn't dare to voice any of them. Wouldn't that be such a super rude thing to do when Ignis seems to have made a lot of effort to be able to say that?

"T.. Then.."

She starts, and then stops again for a moment, like she's carefully considering her words.

"Do you see yourself.. as a parent..?"

It was weird, Madoka had to be about Iris' age which would make her more like a little sister than daughter. Raven was a little older and was more of a younger sister. It was just strange how things ran in this place. He could kill without a second thought with his daggers or magic or pole arms. He could be a ruthless strategist in order to be able to come up with all manners of plans, gather intel and still manage a five course meal without issue. But emotions..they were just something else entirely.

Ignis hadn't meant to get attached to anyone. It had been a matter of waiting out whatever hell this place was to keep him away from fulfilling his duty as Noct's advisor. And he'd waited patiently every day to just go home and get out of this place and leave it behind. But then he became the Blue Team leader and met Madoka and the rest of his tiny team. It was both Tony and Renee that pointed out the whole father role. He'd fought not wanting children but it ended up happening anyway.

So now he looked away as she blushed, wondering if he'd screwed it up by opening his mouth. It was on the tip of the advisor's tongue to apologize (for what he had no idea) but then something broke through it seemed.

Now it was Ignis' turn to wait to hear what Madoka had to say and he quite frankly expected the worst though it didn't show on his face. Her question had him smile though and he coughed a little. It wasn't ever a formal role he'd ever expected. Adjusting his glasses, the dusty blonde head nodded, trying to put back on his professional armor.

"Before the train no, but since coming here and having a team..well that's changed of course." Tony made a huge difference too with this and in his life in general, because now he found that he could dream of having things he never would've dared back home.

Edited 2020-01-25 18:21 (UTC)

It's too late to fully put the professional armor back on now, Ignis, she's seen what you looked like a moment ago!

But maybe that's a good thing in this case. As surprising as it is to see the other struggle even the slightest bit, it does make Madoka think a little. Especially combined with what he's saying now. It's true.. even if she doesn't know much about the world Ignis comes from, it does seem like there wasn't a whole lot of time for fun there. She learned that when they made a snowman together. And maybe there wasn't much time for emotions either, since the only times she's seen him look less than fully composed was when he'd have to deal with those.

.. that's sad. It's a good thing it's changing now on the train, but.. Madoka can't help but think no one should have to live like that. Ignis shouldn't have to think that he'll never have a daughter. He should be allowed just as much of that happiness as any other person. He shouldn't have to give up hope on anything.

It takes another moment to gather her courage, but after taking a deep breath the girl moves to take a hold of both of his hands. And she smiles up at him.

".. It's okay. If you see me as a daughter.. that's fine. I'm sure mama and papa wouldn't mind. They'd probably just be happy knowing there's someone looking out for me here."

He was surprised to see Madoka move towards him and he almost backed away but instead he stayed right where he was. His expression was soft when she took his hands and smiled that wonderful smile.

Her words gave Ignis relief that he didn't realize that he had been looking for and he smiled in return. In the back of his mind he wondered what the boys back home would say and he was at least sure that Noct would laugh. The advisor wanted to say that he would love to meet Madoka's parents, much as he would like to meet Tony's Pepper and Morgan but the likelihood of that being granted was slim to none.

Hearing about her parents kept him in check because he sure couldn't ask to adopt her when she remembered and loved her family. But he could make do with what he had to work with. The advisor was simply grateful she hadn't had an adverse reaction to his words because she very well could have. So he wasn't going to push it at all.

Keeping her hands in his, Ignis knelt down before her and looked up into her eyes, "Are you sure it's alright?" Boundaries, he was trying hard not to step over them.

Edited 2020-01-25 22:03 (UTC)

"Yes!" She doesn't even seem to have to think about the answer - maybe since she already did the thinking a moment ago. Considering what she already said just now, she's not going back on it. So Madoka just keeps smiling at him, even now as he comes on a similar level as her.

If anything, it's just sweet of him to ask if it's really alright. It shows the care Ignis always puts into everything. Maybe some people would say he's kind of holding himself back with being so careful, Madoka just thinks it's really nice.

"Mis.." She starts, but then quickly shuts her mouth again as she seems to realise something. ".. Ah, it's probably a little weird for me to still call you mister Ignis then, right..? It's a little formal.."

Granted, she was the one who insisted on saying mister to begin with, but she was just trying to be polite back then! And that was far, far beyond she ever even considered the possibility of him seeing her as a daughter.

There's a small smile and the advisor let out another breath of relief. She surprised him, looking as happy as she was and not being upset about the whole thing. He'd tried a few times to come up with a way to broach this topic on the train but there never seemed to be a 'right' time. Madoka would be playing with her friends or just doing her own thing or Ignis would be wrapped up in something and didn't get a chance to talk to her.

Well now here it was in the open, at least his part. Shaking his head at her trying to figure this out, there was another small smile. "You may certainly take your time and decide what you would like to call me." Ignis said with a nod. After all, Madoka's comfort levels came first.

He let go of her hands and wanted to hug her but wasn't sure that was okay so he held back. Tony wouldn't hesitate but that was who that man was. This was just odd. Who knew that the aloof polite advisor would find a daughter here on a train...or a man who loved him and the same girl as well.

"I must warn you though." Ignis said, getting up, trying to keep his tone light. "Tony and I had spoken of adopting you." "But I know you love and miss your family, so there's no cause for concern." He wasn't sure he should say something with this delicate situation, but in case it was mentioned to Madoka, he didn't want her to find out from anyone else before himself.

Lying or omitting wasn't something he wanted to do.

Her smile fades a bit at the word 'warn', mostly since she really doesn't know what to expect as a warning considering the kind of topic they're talking about.. But Madoka seems to be listening attentively to him even as he gets up. Maybe the whole adopting deal would have been super shocking if that had been the first thing he said, but considering what he already told her so far.. it doesn't feel weird. It's still a little surprising, making Madoka stare at him with big eyes, but at least she doesn't look freaked out or anything.

Mostly because.. well, after letting out a slight breath she didn't realise she was holding, the girl shakes her head and replies.

"I.. I'm not concerned though.. I don't think I'd mind."

She pauses, which is when Madoka seems to realise the way that might have sounded, and she blushes a little and shakes her head again.

"I-I mean, of course I love mama and papa..! It's not that I wouldn't mind it because I don't like them! But.. um.." She glances away from him for a moment. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you all of this before, but.." There just never had been a right time for it. And it didn't feel necessary. And as long as it wasn't necessary, Madoka was fine just keeping this information to herself, since it's not really something she likes talking about. But with Ignis being so honest to her, the least she can do is try to give him the same in return.

"Even when I go home.. I probably won't return to my parents. I actually already kind of said goodbye to them before I ended up here.."

She speaks more slowly about this, like it really isn't easy for her to talk about. Mostly since she doesn't want to get overwhelmed and cry at a moment like this of all times, when Ignis has tried so hard to bear part of his feelings to her.

"Back home there's-- there's something I have to do. And I'm the only one who can do it, I think.. But when I do it, I'm probably not going to be able to go back to the normal life I was having with mama and papa and my brother ever again anyway.."

That look has him wondering. "You wouldn't?" And through his mind went all of the questions. Of course Ignis was concerned, but he couldn't help but wonder. Something seemed to be off but he wouldn't ask because that was rude, so he waited.

He was about to say something when she apologized about not telling him something before when what Madoka said about saying goodbye to her parents had him completely stunned. The advisor wasn't sure what to do here, but he went back down on one knee to listen as she spoke about not being able to go back to a normal life.

Whatever it was that this girl had to do seemed like it was hard and it had to have been hard to know that she was saying goodbye to people who obviously loved her and that she loved in return. His heart ached for Madoka who seemed to be trying to be so brave in front of him.

There was the smallest smile to Ignis' face as he reached up to take her hand. It was something he'd learned from Tony and it was something he'd said to Evie when her beau Harry disappeared. "You're not alone here, I will protect you as will Tony. So while you're here with us, we can be your family along with our Blue team. Does that sound agreeable?"

Ignis taking her hand like that makes Madoka's gaze move back to him. Not that she looks startled or anything of the sort, it just pulls her attention away from the anxious thoughts about everything going on back home and back to the present.

There's the briefest moment where she just stares at him. But then the girl slowly nods.

".. I'd like that."

With how things were going back home and with what happened to her friends, it had felt like Madoka had more and more to carry all by herself back there. And while she knows everyone here can't help her with that burden from back home, they do at least make it feel like she isn't alone here. Like there's people who will help her out. People she can talk to when she's worried, even when that's still a little hard.

"I already feel like I miss them a little less when you're there." And when the others are there too, of course, but he's the one she's talking to right now. And if he wants to be like a parent to her in this place, then she'll gladly let him. Madoka could use it more than she'd let on to, really.

If Tony were here, he'd probably tell Ignis to hug this girl and then proceed to nag him as to why he hadn't so far. But just like with that man, things had taken time. This was a big responsibility and one he would've never thought he would take on.

So there was a slight smile when he heard the agreement even if he was still a little surprised.

Many people might have another opinion, but Tony had been so very helpful in breaking down Ignis' barriers. He didn't get through all of them of course, but they'd had years to build up. So he too had topics that he didn't discuss. But his team had been very helpful in getting his heart to open up a little. Service to others and caring for them more than himself was something that he was very familiar with.

There was another smile when Madoka said she missed her family a little less when he was around. The advisor nodded to the girl and still tried to respect her space. "May I give you a hug then?"

Yup, Tony would already have done this part awhile ago.

She's a little surprised to hear him ask that question. Sure, she's heard him ask it earlier too, back when they ended up having a group hug together with Tony. But she thought he had realised by then that it was okay to just hug her whenever.

.. on the other hand, this is just very Ignis-like, isn't it? He's just polite enough to ask to make sure she's alright with it.

"Of course!"

Usually this is the part where she would have hugged him first, really, but when he's asking that sweetly she wants to make sure he gets the chance to initiate the hug as well. Maybe it'd get Ignis a bit more used to hugs as well?

"You can hug me whenever. Really. I never mind."

Since Ignis was down on one knee it was a simple matter of gently tugging Madoka to him, which he only did after she gave him permission to hug her 'whenever'. He figured it might take some time to stop asking her but it was only polite because he respected boundaries.

As the advisor held onto the girl, he had to smile. "Thank you."

The hug somehow feels extra nice. It's not as if she hasn't hugged Ignis before, considering that time back on the platform, but it feels extra special when he's the one initiating it this time instead of him just being dragged in it by Tony. Not to mention that he's smiling - everything is always better to Madoka when she can see someone happy during it.

So although she's definitely not moving out of the hug at all just yet, she shakes her head.

"No, thank you.. There's so many things I'm grateful to you for, so this is the least I can do. Besides, hugs are nice..!"

He had to laugh a little and pull back a bit at her comments. "Thank me..you've no need.." And then Ignis stopped. How in the world was she grateful to him? He hadn't really done anything special in his eyes to warrant that.
But he took a breath and realigned his thinking.

"Then I shall consider it fair on both sides." And yes hugs were nice things and something he'd have to get used to doing.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(closed) because even if i end up nowhere

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject