Event: Healing Waters

[voidtreckermods]

"Good morning passengers, it is day twenty three of the month of Grasshopper. All passengers of the Voidtrecker Express require rest. Next stop Jema’grethy Island. All passengers prepare to disembark."

It is a very strange morning message that rings through the train on the morning of day twenty three but as the passengers of the Voidtrecker Express wake their screens glow with the colour of the void and a holographic screen pops up for them to read.

World #2554098133741: A world once inhabited by an ancient civilisation and now preserved as a historical site, nature reserve and well-being retreat. It is famous for its relaxing hot springs, calming atmosphere and beautiful beaches.

It is a popular void-traveller destination, particularly among void missionaries as a place to rest and recuperate after difficult missions.

The Voidtrecker Express will spend three days here, arriving today and leaving on day twenty six of the month of Grasshopper. The dressing carriage is open for your convenience.

It is time for a holiday it seems!

Preparation

For those who go to explore the dressing carriage they will find a variety of beachwear and wetsuits. One cupboard has a pile of tents and groundsheets in all four team colours.

One cabinet is exclusively filled with beach towels, in a kaleidoscope of colours, designs and patterns. Another is filled with different shapes and sizes of plain towel dressing gowns. There is even a cabinet with buckets, spades and small rock-pooling nets.

It seems they are in for quite an adventure.

Arrival

"Shortly arriving on World #2554098133741. Exit from void in ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one."

The train lurches and rattles as it leaves the void they will get a glimpse of silver-purple sky and a beautiful ocean below.

However some passengers might be a little more than distracted, one staring at that table for a second too long, another seeming lost in thought for a couple of seconds, a longer than normal pause in a sentence. They see a vision, a glimpse of a life that is not their own. Not all at once, but here and there as the train descends to the island.

But then it is gone and things are back to normal. Just in time, as they come to land.

Jema’grethy Island

The train has landed on a grassy ridge, overlooking a beautiful beach of white sand and the ocean beyond. It is warm, but not too hot, a cool ocean breeze cutting through the heat making it pleasant. Behind them is a grassy plain, changing to forest in the distance. There is the sound of birdsong in the purple sky. To the west the land is more craggy, the silhouette of a fortress in the distance. In a word, it is idylic. A sense of peace permeates the island.

A little more worrying is the volcano-like structure in the north. But even a quick glance will show it is not a typical volcano. There is no smoke and the liquid slowly running down it in rivulets is pink and blue.

Exploring the passengers will find beautiful beaches, ragged cliffs to walk and caves to explore. Where it is more craggy the beaches are made of pebbles- perfect for rock pooling.

The place has no people, but it is clearly maintained. The eastern beaches have racks of shallow boats, both canoes and one- or two-person sailing dinghies. There is also a small building in which scuba gear is stored, along with several waterproofed manuals and instructional literature.

Ruins of ancient houses are scattered across the island, but the main settlement is built into a rocky section in the north-west that has been secured with ropes and stairways cut into the cliffs, perfect for scrambles and hikes.

There are no living quarters, but there are sheltered sections with basic toilet facilities marked as camping grounds in five different sections of the island - by the hot springs, within the ruined fortress, beside the harbour, on the eastern beaches, and on the northern face of the mountain.

Hot Springs

To the west are the hot springs. They have both outdoor and indoor areas; the indoor areas being wooden loghouse saunas, changing rooms and storage sheds, whilst the outdoor areas are a tiered series of pools spilling down the side of the mountain and shaded by brightly flowering trees. The waters are hot, mineral-rich and soothing.

Perfect for overly stressed, world weary Void heroes...

(OOC: More setting information is here, please feel free to go wild with the setting and have a fun and relaxing time. You can use this post as a catch all for your holiday or make your own posts on middleofsomewhere. More information about how the memory event is structured is here!)

Comments

((stares))

[adregem]

And Roland meets Inigo with an exhaustion of his own, one that he has no desire to repress or control at this point in time. Having to witness the beginning of his journey to the other world - the nuclear strike that decimated his city and possibly his whole country afterwards - was not something he intended to experience when the train boarded on Jema'grethy. Not to mention, the train's own memories which he witnessed after dipping into the stream again...

He's never felt so bare. His thoughts so violated. It unnerved him to the point where he almost misses Inigo's voice call out to him, his own eyes boring holes into the ground as he walks away from it all. Away from all this madness, all this betrayal when all he's ever done is to do the job right, so that they have a chance to return to whatever is left of home.

"Huh?" When Inigo asks him how he's doing, he finally shakes himself out of his poor reverie, a deep set frown on his face. He doesn't miss the same look on Inigo either, and it cuts a wider wound. Inigo looked tired, in more ways than one. He shakes his head, and his hands find their way to Inigo's shoulders again, gripping them firmly, once.

"No...You too?" Roland's grip tightens even more. "Don't worry about me," he is quick to add. "I can't believe this. You saw - you saw things too? Memories? You weren't spared. Damn."

[flatteries]

It's only when Roland looks at him and Inigo can see the way he must look mirrored in the way Roland looks at him and grips his shoulders that he realises he left the fact that he's upset just a little too obvious.

It's tempting to try and smile. He probably could if he tried really hard. Just smile and say that he sure saw memories, but it's fine, he's fine. He doesn't like the way Roland was already looking unhappy - he even used a bad word by Roland standards! -, and now seems only moreso because Inigo is unhappy as well. If he can take even a tiny bit of that burden away from Roland, it'd be better, right?

But that's exactly what he did with his father back home. And it's the exact thing that got him to lash out at him. The memory is refreshed so strongly after his conversation in the cave yesterday with Gyousou. Maybe he'll upset Roland even further by pretending to be okay. Maybe he'll upset Roland either way.

Inigo can feel fear and anxiety starting to spiral out of control in his mind, but then he remembers Gyousou's words. Your own fear had you prevent him from speaking, because you had already decided what it was he would say.

So he tries to throw aside fear the best he can and just do what feels right.

Which, in this case, means that he slips out of that tight grip on his shoulders. But not to move away. No, it's just so he can instead throw his arms around Roland, burying his face against the other's shoulder and cling to him tightly.

"How could I not worry about you..?" He mumbles, audible only to Roland. Inigo doesn't sound like he's crying, but his voice does shake a bit. "You're so obviously upset. You must have seen something horrible, and I'm so sorry for that.."

[adregem]

Roland is only taken aback for a slight moment, but he leans into the embrace easily enough. He closes his eyes, as if to will the last three days away, Jema'grethy's beautiful view be damned. Was it even worth it to be here, to enjoy themselves when this was the price to pay? And he can imagine that Inigo, looking worse for wear at the moment, the crack in his voice the strongest indication that he had been through the ringer too - Roland just hugs him tighter. In a moment of shared sentiment, he buries his nose against Inigo's hair, a hand stroking the back of his head as if to reassure him.

This was what I did for Will, too. Even then, I...

Roland's hushed whisper is the only thing that breaks the comfortable crescendo of silence that falls over the duo. "Look who's talking." He chuckles sardonically. "You've been through the worst of it, too. Whatever it was..." He sighs, but he doesn't let go despite his eyes glazing over the crowd that shuffles away from the crime scene; the disorienting expressions distracting them enough that no one is actually looking at Roland or Inigo. Regardless, he isn't budging. Inigo needed him.

"I think - " he adds, after a pause. "- if we're going to do this right," Roland pulls away just slightly, giving them enough space so he can look into Inigo's eyes; exhausted, so incredibly drained, he can see it like the moon casts light over a hazy night. This, being the idea that Roland was a little bit more than just Inigo's friend now, and Roland knows that the boy can sense that rolling off of him, almost palpable in his concern. "I'm going to have to do all the worrying, Inigo."

He draws him in again for another hug, lighter this time but no less full of fondness and care. "So tell me what I can do for you. Do you want to talk about it? How do I make this better?"

That's what parents are for, right?

[flatteries]

He really doesn't have to explain what this means to Inigo. Inigo knows instinctively. And yet, despite them already having spoken about it, it still manages to make something in his exhausted gaze look surprised. As if, despite him agreeing, Inigo still can't quite believe that Roland really is so okay with it that he falls into the fatherly role here so naturally. Without Inigo having to ask.

It's so new. He hasn't been fussed over like this since he was-- what, ten years old? Eleven? And even then it had always been coming from his mother moreso than his father. It renders the boy entirely quiet for a moment as Roland pulls him into a renewed hug, like he's not sure what to say or do. Or how far to go.

"Roland.." Now it does sound like he's crying. Or like he could start any moment now, even though there's no tears yet. It's just so overwhelming, having someone to rely on this much. Inigo doesn't quite know how to adjust.

But he does know what he wants. Inigo has always known what he wants, what he needs. He's just always been too reluctant to ask. He's trying right now though - he really is, even though it makes him bury his face against Roland even harder, unable to look at him as he says this.

"Just.. stay with me, please." Just some company. Just not being alone, especially right now. "I-- I'm sure you have a lot of other people to talk to after all that, or even other things to do right now, but.. please stay with me for a bit, if that's alright.."

1/2

[adregem]

There is a sharp pang that resonates from the tips of his fingers until its tendrils crawl into the edges of his heart, pounding as if emerging from a trance. Where one moment, he is speaking to Inigo, his arms keeping him anchored in the here and now; in the next, Roland opens his eyes to a different scene. A different world, one familiar and painful and altogether real, even if it existed in another time.

Beeping, consistent like a metronome. A monitor shows signs of stable vitals - for now. There is a drip attached to an small hand, an arm cradling a stuffed animal. A book in his lap, the television playing re-runs of him, speeches vomited out again, and again, and again. One hour, he says. The security detail nods, and even though it feels like he's been there for so long, it's never enough. The boy with black hair looks up at him and in his eyes, he sees a reflection of himself. Desperation. A plea. The same words; but spoken from someone else.

'Please stay with me for a bit, if that's alright.'

I've got to attend the summit. They're expecting me in a bit. Can you wait here for me, like a good boy? I promise - I promise I'll come back again tonight. Before the ward's visiting hours are over. Okay?

It does not happen. A broken promise. The missiles came and rained fire, and in an instant; nothing. Gone.

Just stay with me, please.

[adregem]

"Huh?"

It happens in an instant for Roland. When he opens his eyes, hears Inigo's worlds, feels his embrace tighten against his frame, the shock was like an electric jolt. He doesn't pull away, but he steadies his breathing, trying to regain himself. Was he hearing things? Was he still affected by the syrup? Because he touched it twice? Ate too much? Spent too much time -

- Roland makes a sound from the back of his throat, nonsensical at best. He exhales through his mouth and swallows a lump that wasn't there moments ago. He allows the embrace to continue but there is an earth-shattering fear he is trying to ignore. It wins out, in the end. His hands drift to Inigo's arms and he pulls away, just enough to stare at his face. Studying it, memorizing it, looking for something. In his eyes, his eyes are...

"W-What did you say?"

This wasn't a nightmare. No. It can't be. He wasn't going to fade. Not like -

- if Inigo notices it; the almost frantic glint in Roland's usually calm gaze, the way he's gripping him as if he was going to drown if he let the boy go...It was real. It wasn't his imagination.

[flatteries]

It doesn't help that Inigo would have been hyper-aware of any reaction Roland would have given. Opening himself up like that, being so vulnerable, actually asking someone for help - it's new for him, and still so hard, and of course Inigo is going to search the face of whoever he's opening up to for the slightest hints of anything.

And what he sees on Roland's face is so different from anything he's ever seen from the other. Even when his leg was bleeding, the older guy looked so calm, almost serene. Even back then, he was reassuring Inigo, despite Inigo having tried to hard back there to seem like he didn't need it, wasn't asking for it. But now Roland looks.. shocked, maybe, almost panicked in the way he clenches Inigo's shoulders.

Any scrape of courage Inigo mustered up to actually say those words a moment ago immediately sinks all the way into his shoes. The thoughts immediately start racing through his mind. He did something wrong. He did something so massively wrong to cause such an odd reaction in Roland. He bothered the other when Roland was clearly upset to begin with, he messed it up, he--

No, he can't make this about him when Roland is looking like this right in front of him. If something is wrong, he needs to make it right. Before panic can fully seize his heart, Inigo shuts it down entirely. And not just that-- no, all emotion is momentarily stopped in that same way he's done so often before battle, whenever his soft heart threatened to drag him down. Inigo blinks, and even the emotional exhaustion from a moment ago disappears from his eyes completely.

Even though Roland's grip on his shoulders feels like iron, Inigo manages to pry it off. Instead he grips the man's hand, and after quickly looking around, he manages to spot some nearby rock formations that seem about as servicable as a seat as anything on top of a vulcano could be. He drags the other over there, even if Roland may still be half stuck in his stupor.

"Sit down," he says. It's more even than his voice was before, but there's nothing hard or rough about it. "Something is obviously wrong, Roland. You need some rest. Or tell me what's going on."

Don't worry about what he said a moment ago, okay. It's fine. It's cool. He's fine. He doesn't need anything.

[adregem]

He's stuck.

His mind is there, still there, a vulnerability he never shows anyone if he can help it. It's why he writes so fervently; why he works so hard. The burden is heaviest on his shoulders by choice. It's the only way he knows how, the only way he can be. But it took all of three days for steely resolve to melt into the sweet colorful syrup, barraging him with hit after hit after hit of memories he had no right to see, and memories he did not want to be seen at all. His small joys, his nuclear failures.

The final nightmare Doloran shows him is what he's glad the train could not mine from his heart. But he remembers it anyway, because Inigo's cries, his tears, they remind him of his pain. Usually tucked next to darkness, heard only by the wind, seen only as a movie in his mind. That he has yet to go home to see if convincing Doloran to stop had amounted to anything is tearing at him, ripping him apart at the seams. Evan would be disappointed in him. He was disappointed in himself.

He is led to a seating area, a little ways away from the the rest of the congregation on top of the volcano, but Roland is still stuck. The hand that Inigo holds is limp in its grasp. The struggle is internal; a push and pull with neither giving way. When Inigo speaks, he hears an echo of a life beyond, a life he couldn't seem to deserve. But this is not the resolute man Roland knows he is, so he fights with his own pain, threatens to break free. After Inigo speaks, and he hears something different there this time, unlike his usual softness, a light that shines a little dimmer. He was supposed to be bigger than this, right? Yet again, never being there for a son; there is never enough time.

Roland doesn't take a seat, even when Inigo does. But he was a king who had to see it for himself, to be convinced that this wasn't a trick, this wasn't the island toying with him one last time. While he has the height, Roland turns to the young man before him, who has cared for him yet here he was doubting it all - his hand slips out from his grasp and slowly, carefully, like glass threatening to break if he moves too soon, Roland touches Inigo's face, cradles it with cold, clammy palms, fingers splayed across his cheeks. Roland peers into Inigo's eyes, especially his eyes, the thumbs of his hands grazing bottom lashes so daintily it was only rivaled by the beat of a butterfly's wings. Nothing there. No darkness. Just -

- just sadness. Just grief. And he was still whole, his hands going back to check that Inigo was solid and...and...

"I'm sorry." He chokes out, no longer trying to hide how he feels, no longer hiding that if he had to see someone fade away from him again, he wouldn't know what to do with himself. "I just needed to know you were real."

[flatteries]

This is all so weird. Even as Inigo has steeled himself, there's such tension in the air as he sits down, only to notice Roland not doing the same. He looks up at the other, locking gazes with him, and then there's suddenly Roland's hands on his face.

That's also odd, but Inigo doesn't have the heart to even attempt to pry them off. Not when there's some sort of desperate sense about the way Roland touches his face, his palms so clammy, as if he's been sweating in a way that has nothing to do with this island's weather. Instead the touch just stills Inigo, like he's afraid he'll break something that can't be fixed the moment he moves even slightly under Roland's touch. He just lets the older man stare and touching as much as he wants - even though Inigo has no reason as to why he's doing it. It doesn't matter why. Not for a moment, anyway. If this is something Roland needs, then Inigo will give him it, even if it might be the only thing he's able to do right now.

He can still feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest with tension and worry though as Roland stares so intently into his eyes, like he's looking for something. Over the years Inigo has grown so used to the Brand in his eye that he hardly ever even realises it's there anymore, but he's suddenly hyper-aware of it now as he stares back at Roland with his mismatched eyes, trying to look for anything, any clue as to what's going on, in Roland's eyes in turn.

Something is wrong. Something is obviously wrong, only made more and more obvious with that choked edge to Roland's words. It's unlike anything he's ever heard from the other.

Inigo's hand moves up to cover one of the hands still on his cheek, his own warm hand pressed against Roland's cold one, hoping the touch doesn't give away his racing pulse.

"I'm real, Roland. Of course I'm real." The sound of his voice sounds foreign to his own ears, just as mismatched to his current mood as his eyes are to each other. Trying desperately to keep himself calm, because it's what he's always taught himself. When other people can't be strong, he has to be, even when he feels like he can't. That's his job.

Inigo sucks in a breath, trying to figure out what to say here, what to do. How can he help Roland best if he doesn't know what's going on? How does he keep from making this worse.

His throat feels so dry, but he opens his mouth to speak regardless.

"I.. think if we're going to do this right," he says, mirroring the man's earlier words, "you have to trust me too." Not that he doesn't know Roland must trust him already, but-- trusting someone with your pain is a whole story entirely, and Inigo knows it all too well.

"Please.. let me know what's wrong." Inigo's tone starts slipping. Not entirely, but it's so, so hard for Inigo to fully keep his wits about him when he witnesses this look in Roland's eyes. Emotion sneaks into his tone before he realises it - soft compassion, worry, just a slight desperate hint-- "Let me know what I can do to help you.."

His breath hitches ever so slightly, but his hand doesn't move.

"Please don't shut me out now.. father."

[adregem]

Has that always been there? In Inigo's eye, a symbol of unknown origin. He doesn't recognize it, but it's almost tattooed into his irises, a teardrop meeting the dip of a crescent. He wonders what it means, how he has only now seen it as is thumbs cease their caressing under the subtle creases under his eyes, and Roland's mouth parts ever so slightly. There's still so much more of Inigo's life that is a mystery to him, so much more he has yet to discover. Yet here they are, meeting sorrows at the depths. Here he is, three lifetimes in, tasked with watching over another boy with stories to tell and adventures to write. Another boy who has learned to care for him, even as he exists in a vacuum of his own creation.

Why do you cry? Why does your heart bleed? What makes you laugh? Will you regale to me tales of your home, the halidom of Ylisse? What do you love? What do you hate? His conviction. His principles. Everything that makes Inigo who he is - will Roland be able to see it all in time? Will he be able to ask him; to earn the right to know it? He's failed one son before.

But as Inigo speaks to him, Roland suddenly feels a gentle breeze, and the smell of flowers breaks the spell. It carries him back to the light, where the fields are golden and the sea is crystalline by the shore. The red haze and toppled skyscrapers of his nightmares crawl back, for now. Out of the cracks emerges a sky so blue and vast it marries into the horizon. Inigo's hand keeps him in place, and when he is called - father, of all things - he remembers what he is. Who he is. Why he fights; the cosmos of his hope. Nothing will stop him, right? Not missiles, not a void train, not the past that shackles him back to useless doubt.

A boy in pajamas waves at him, all the way to the very end of the lane. He looks healthy, strong. Reborn.
'Just promise you'll do your best to keep helping everybody, daddy! I'll be waiting for you!'

"Inigo..." Though he answers thickly, Roland softens around the edges and a smile forms across his lips, small yet certain. Fond and true. "I won't shut you out. I won't." He shakes his head, and finally his grasp loosens until he can ruffle Inigo's hair, absentmindedly, as if convincing himself. "I need you to know that I've disappointed people before. Lots of people. People I cared about. I get in over my head because it was my job to see the bigger picture. To look out for my people." He missed so much time, he couldn't see past his own face, couldn't see where he was actually needed until it was too late. Even now...

He swallows before resuming, his hands dropping down to Inigo's shoulders like they belong. Roland doesn't dare look away. "But I'll keep trying. Okay? I'll keep trying because..."

'Daddy, I'm scared.'

He doesn't hesitate. He pulls Inigo back into his arms, despite the angle, Inigo sat and Roland on his feet. But it gives him just the right position to stroke the back of Inigo's head, wrap one arm around his shoulders tight, to never let go. "Because I'll protect you. This is the only way you can help me. I'll take care of you." Unshed tears glisten, but do not fall.

"This I swear, to you and to Olivia."

[flatteries]

Inigo lets himself be drawn into the hug. There's no resistance, although this time it can mostly be chalked up to the way Inigo stares up at Roland so blankly, rather than Inigo actively wanting to enjoy the hug. It's obvious too - mostly from the way he doesn't raise his own arms to hug Roland in turn the way he usually would have.

Because he's still dazed. Thinking about everything he's seen. The pain in Roland's eyes that has something to do with disappointing people, though it doesn't seem very likely that he's going to concretely tell what he did to disappoint people.

But he mostly thinks about the other words. Those near-last words. Because I'll protect you.

Inigo thinks of his father, of back home, of a time long gone that suddenly feels so much closer now he has spoken about it only yesterday with Gyousou. He thinks about all the nights where his mother tucked him in, telling him his father was out there protecting everyone, that Inigo would see him again soon. He thinks of the night where his mother, strong as ever, tried to hold back her tears, the clear voice of his older sister ringing out with the question of where father was. The time the world as Inigo knew it ended, when he was almost still too young to understand.

"But.. if you'll protect me, then who will protect you..?"

His voice sounds tiny, distant. It's like his mouth is no longer connected to his brain, like he's a spectator to his own body's actions. Like something tinier and more youthful inside of him takes over.

"Father died.. He died protecting everyone. I-- If I lose you that way too, then what will I do..?"

[adregem]

There's a lot Roland wants to say.

- That the role of a king never changes, even when he's no longer in his realm. That from the very beginning, Roland swore an oath to put the lives of others before his own; as a father, as a president. That Inigo's father as king probably did the same, regardless of what caused his passing. That Inigo's father loved him, and Roland knows that's the only thing that would have made his sacrifice worth it, in the end; to know that you helped protect the world your son will inherit long after you are gone. That it isn't a child's job to protect their parent; it's always the other way around.

There is a lot Roland wants to say, but in this moment, as his hand continues to stroke the back of Inigo's head, the boy looking younger and younger by the minute, he decides to stay silent.

For how could he promise something he wasn't sure he could keep, when the time came? How could he promise a child - someone he readily saw as his own - that should he die and never come back, the only thing Inigo can do is move forward, never to be shackled to the past?

Was this not his role in life? To be the protector, the shield, the one to defend, no matter the cost? He bites his lip, the shaking in Inigo's voice causing him discomfort. On that fateful day, when all was lost to him in the blink of an eye, William lost a father too. But if Will was here, in his arms, asking, begging for the answer - If I lose you that way too, then what will I do?

Roland carefully kneels on one leg so that his eyes are leveled with Inigo's own. And it pains him to see that dazed look misting over him; he was but a boy, so lost, so scared. Too much grief coming from someone so merciful. So kind. 'Will you resent me, Inigo? One day...I wonder if you'll grow to think of me differently...' he thinks to himself, hands still latching onto this moment, stroking his hair, sometimes the sides of his face in hopes that Roland's touch will make Inigo understand that sacrifice is part of who he is.

When he finds his voice again, it's steadier, quieter. But no less intense. No less caring and full of warmth, like a lullaby to calm. And he draws in just a tad bit closer, enough to lean his forehead against his. Roland knows what to say, at last.

"You won't have to worry about that, because as long as I'm here, nothing is going to happen." The words are echoes of his past, but they remain true to his heart all the same. "You won't lose me that way, because I won't let it end that way." He cradles Inigo's hands in his. Somehow, in his grasp, they are tinier now, more fragile.

"Have faith in me. I'll stay with you, for as long as you need me. Until you get sick of me." Roland leans back to shake his head, gaze low, staring at where they now intersect, fingers splayed and interlocking.

"I won't abandon you. If you call, I'll run straight to you, to be right beside you. Okay, son?"

[flatteries]

In any other situation, Inigo may have regretted saying those words right away. Regretted saying too much, seeming too weak, when he isn't allowed to be - when he can't be, no matter what he's endured these past few days, no matter how much he feels like he's at the end of his rope. But it's very hard to do so in the light of Roland's reaction. Even though Inigo said something that feels so shameful, Roland doesn't judge him. It's the exact opposite.. he remains so calm and gentle as he's always been, even now. Even though - a few moments ago - he looked just about as lost as Inigo feels now too.

So the boy stays quiet, giving the other time to think. Inigo just sits there, still, letting Roland kneel in front of him and touch his head.

And then those words crash over him. But it's not violent - more like a soft wave upon the warm sand of the island. Like a blanket being thrown over him.

Okay, son?

Inigo stares for a second, but then he's moving. With Roland kneeling in front of him like that, it's so very easy to just slightly throw himself forward, wrapping his arms around Roland's shoulders until he's clinging to the other tightly. Overcome with emotion, Inigo buries his face against the other's shoulder.

"Roland.." His voice is almost more a squeak, and despite how much he's already been crying these past few days, Inigo feels some new tears slipping out of his eyes all the same.

It's just too much. It's like Roland is saying the exact things Inigo has wanted to hear for so, so long. Even though he never resented anyone for his fate - not his father, whose death only left behind a hellscape for them, nor his sister, who always tried to make sure he was prepared for their circumstances and wouldn't sugarcoat things for him - it was still so hard. Pretending he was okay. That he could bear everything by himself. That he was strong.

He wasn't, Inigo thinks. He's never been. All this time, he's just been waiting for someone to tell him it's okay. That they'll be with him no matter what, and that it'll all be okay. That he doesn't have to carry it all by himself.

"Thank you.. thank you so much.." It's like he has trouble even speaking, still clinging onto Roland for dear life. The feeling that wells up within him is just too overwhelming to put into words. "I-- I won't get sick of you. Ever. I'm only.. only so grateful that you're by my side here.."

Even if he'll have to go home one day to a battle against a dragon that might take his life, to a future he doesn't belong in, at least Inigo will have had this.

[adregem]

Roland wraps his arms around Inigo, hands rubbing soothing circles on his back. He closes his eyes and immediately he knows that this crying child in his arms has been through it. He hasn't told him everything yet - he doesn't have to, if it will hurt him - but there's a part of him, paternal and honed, that understands without words. Inigo's tears are never shallow. They always come from a place filled with shadow, haunting his smiles, like he has to show Roland he's always the gentle boy that supports others.

He hums quietly. Once upon a time, he also held another in these arms. Tears, there were always tears. Never enough hours in a day. Never enough...

"Let's look out for each other," he says, still keeping on, still clutching him close. "You don't have to thank me for a thing. No matter what happens from hereon out, I'll always be glad that our paths crossed and that I met you. I hope I can help you through it all, even if this train gives us a lot to worry about." He swallows thickly, opening his eyes. The smell of sweet syrup hangs in the air.

"You're not alone." He pulls back to look into his eyes, puffed and red as he sheds more tears. But Roland only offers him a generous smile; the promise he will work hard to keep. To look over another, as he has done once, twice, now for a third time. A task he will take to like a fish to water, a privilege he must earn again, and again, and again. "Not anymore."

[flatteries]

Inigo looks at him when he pulls back. He's still crying a bit, but the tears are at the very least slowing now.. and slowly, bit by bit, there's a smile appearing on his tear-soaked face as well, mirroring Roland's own, though perhaps a tad more fragile.

"You're already helping me. So much." By always accepting all-- or, well, at least most of the dumb things he says and does. By not giving him even the faintest odd look back when Inigo confessed that Roland kind of felt like a father to him. By comforting him now, even though Roland looked so lost and hurt too a few moments ago - even though Inigo can only guess what must be going on inside the older man's heart.

He sniffs, but then lets out a breath that almost sounds like it could have been a laugh.

"And of course I will look out for you too. You just have to say the word and I'll help you with what you need. No matter what it is." Sure, Roland may be the dad here, but to Inigo that doesn't mean he can't do anything for the other in return. He lost one father, a father he wasn't able to ever do a single thing for - he's not going to make that mistake again. "I mean.. if you ever need a hug, no matter when, those are kind of my speciality.."