VoidTrecker Express Mods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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middleofsomewhere2020-11-13 04:28 am
voidtreckermods) wrote in middleofsomewhere2020-11-13 04:28 am
Entry tags:
- !mission nine,
- 47 [ou],
- alice liddell (am) [ou],
- allen walker [crau],
- cassie cage [ou],
- daia [ou],
- edge [ou],
- inigo [ou],
- katsuya jonouchi [au-crau],
- koumyou sanzo [ou],
- lan sizhui [ou],
- lan wangji [ou],
- lea [crau],
- little one [ou],
- madoka kaname [ou],
- masumi sera [ou],
- overlord zetta [crau],
- piccolo [ou],
- ple two [ou],
- quatre raberba winner [ou],
- rapunzel [ou],
- reno [ou],
- romeo [crau],
- seto kaiba [ou],
- sigma [ou],
- sonya blade [ou],
- taiki [ou],
- tidus [ou],
- xiao xingchen [ou],
- xue yang [ou],
- yugi mutou [ou],
- ~x~a-qing [ou],
- ~x~adam parrish [ou],
- ~x~agent 8 [ou],
- ~x~alexis rhodes [crau],
- ~x~alfredo martini [ou],
- ~x~conan edogawa [ou],
- ~x~curufin [crau],
- ~x~dairine callahan [crau],
- ~x~della duck [ou],
- ~x~dyme graydon [ou],
- ~x~elfnein,
- ~x~enna alchiba [ou],
- ~x~galo thymos [ou],
- ~x~gen asagiri [ou],
- ~x~glorfindel [ou],
- ~x~grimmjow jaegerjaquez [ou],
- ~x~itsuki myoudouin [ou],
- ~x~ken ichijouji [ou],
- ~x~kurosaki ichigo [ou],
- ~x~lan xichen [ou],
- ~x~lord el-melloi ii [au],
- ~x~mami tomoe [ou],
- ~x~mt [ou],
- ~x~natsuno yuuki [ou],
- ~x~nerdanel mathaniel [ou],
- ~x~nita callahan [crau],
- ~x~orisa [ou],
- ~x~ran mouri [ou],
- ~x~rei saotome [ou],
- ~x~roland crane [ou],
- ~x~sakura [ou],
- ~x~senku ishigami [ou],
- ~x~taichi yagami [ou],
- ~x~takato matsuda [ou],
- ~x~trowa barton [ou],
- ~x~tsubomi hanasaki [ou],
- ~x~vermouth [ou],
- ~x~webmind [ou],
- ~x~wei wuxian [ou],
- ~x~wen qing [ou],
- ~x~willow amarina [ou],
- ~x~xander woods [ou],
- ~x~yoite [ou],
- ~x~yotsuyu goe brutus [ou],
- ~x~yuume souryuu [au],
- ~x~zechs merquise [ou]
Not with a Bang Start and Ongoing
"Good Morning passengers. Today is day seven of the month of Imagination." The voice echoes through the train as passengers wake up in their beds. Not long afterwards their SCA’s glow with the colour of the void and a holographic image will appear.
Preperation
They have about an hour to prepare, a little less than usual but perhaps expected, given the urgency of the task.
The cupboards in the dressing room are open to reveal rows of tents, in all four team colours as well as some basic camp cooking equipment. They are in bags that should be easy enough to carry.
"Shortly arriving on System #6416. All passengers get ready to disembark. Next stop world 6416. Exit from void in ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one." The train rocks and lurches, bright colours of the void filling the space and then fading as they fly downwards towards a very green landscape.
Arrival and Initial Task
The train lands in a clearing, curving round in an attempt to fit. Once everyone who wishes to disembark has done it flies back into the air, vanishing from sight.
The air is heavy and humid, though it is not currently raining. The clearing is open to the sky and looking up will reveal a worrying sight. The sky is an angry red colour, colours shifting as if the clouds themselves were on fire. It's an unnerving sight.
Their SCA's show three points, one Orange, One purple and one that is half blue and half red. The three control centres. Each are a few hours treck through the jungle and it certainly feels like there is no time to waste.
Those that don't want to treck through the forest can start setting up camp, though the darkening sky might be a little distracting. As time goes on flecks of fire drift down, though they extinguish before hitting the forest floor.
Orange are to travel to the north, Purple to the south and Blue and Red must travel together to the west. Each route takes them through thick and unrelenting jungle. Flying is difficult here unless you can get up past the canopy layer, which means vision of the ground is severely hampered.
The control stations themselves are half buried in vines and require cutting into. If voidtreckers are unlucky they will meet their first security robots here, firing on the intruders. They might even meet their first giant Armadillos, the creatures are curious and may wish to investigate. They are not helpful or constructive to trying to power up the stations and prevent the destruction of the planet.
The control stations are simple enough to operate, but there's quite a lot that needs to be done in way of repairs and clearing. It will take a team effort to get it in working enough order to activate the shield.
The shield itself, when it is activated, is mostly invisible but there is a loud humming sound. The meteor, which has gotten more visible throughout the five hours, hits the shield and splinters, fire enveloping the whole sky. It is visibly terrifying, but no fire falls to earth, no rocks get through, the planet is safe.
Ongoing
Once the planet is safe the voidtreckers deserve a rest. But once the next morning dawns it is time to start with their next tasks, to make sure that this planet stays safe from future threats.
Red
The robots at the control stations are not the only malfunctioning security robots around. They roam the jungle, or are more often stranded in the jungle, powering up only when faced with a new threat.
Some are benign, terraforming machines whose only crime is using up precious power. These need to be dismantled so that power can be saved for the shield system. Others are security robots that will attack the intruders to the planet.
Though the machines are scattered they are often obvious, emitting warning alarms or flashing lights. Their SCA's will show some areas where there are larger clusters but machines can be found anywhere.
Purple
Their SCA's are filled with hundreds of purple dots, each a solar stations that needs cleared and brought back online. It's not the most glamourous job, the stations are deep in the jungle, the treck is difficult and most of the work needed is weed clearing.
But once the weeds have been cut away they will need to patch up the station, doing basic maintenance to get it back online. In some cases wires need to be patched back together but it shouldn't take any great feats of engineering to get the stations up and running.
They may run into some of the security automatons, needing to fight their way into the stations before they can begin the clean up operations.
Orange
Like the red team their SCA will show areas where there are clusters of the small insectoid automatons that need to be rescued and restored. However they can be found anywhere throughout the jungle, they are not too suited for the terrain outside of the stations and so they have gotten tangled in vines. They can be found powered down, stranded and in dire need of maintenance.
Tools and spare parts can be found in many of the solar stations that purple team have been locating. Actually repairing the robots takes some engineering knowledge but once they are restored they will go about their tasks in the stations. They will need help getting to the further flung stations as well as the main control centres.
They are very basic in design and follow pre programmed instructions rather than being able to hear and listen to orders. But once in the correct place they are very effective at their job.
Blue
Once the shield is up there is a faint humming that can be heard throughout the jungle if they listen closely and find it among the sound of rain and insects. But once they hear it, it is obvious where it is louder and more prominent.
Their SCA will pin point some of the larger control boxes but there are truthfully too many to show on a map. Not all of them have attracted Violet Pandas, but many of them have.
They are curious creatures, both of the power boxes and the voidtreckers. They are protective of each other but not so much of territory and therefore it is not difficult to move them on. Keeping them away is another matter, the power humming is interesting and they will unearth wires and chew through them. It doesn't seem to do them much harm, there is clearly safety stops in the system for such eventualities. It does however cut power off to entire solar stations and require a lot of patch work.
Good luck voidtreckers!
Preperation
They have about an hour to prepare, a little less than usual but perhaps expected, given the urgency of the task.
The cupboards in the dressing room are open to reveal rows of tents, in all four team colours as well as some basic camp cooking equipment. They are in bags that should be easy enough to carry.
"Shortly arriving on System #6416. All passengers get ready to disembark. Next stop world 6416. Exit from void in ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one." The train rocks and lurches, bright colours of the void filling the space and then fading as they fly downwards towards a very green landscape.
Arrival and Initial Task
The train lands in a clearing, curving round in an attempt to fit. Once everyone who wishes to disembark has done it flies back into the air, vanishing from sight.
The air is heavy and humid, though it is not currently raining. The clearing is open to the sky and looking up will reveal a worrying sight. The sky is an angry red colour, colours shifting as if the clouds themselves were on fire. It's an unnerving sight.
Their SCA's show three points, one Orange, One purple and one that is half blue and half red. The three control centres. Each are a few hours treck through the jungle and it certainly feels like there is no time to waste.
Those that don't want to treck through the forest can start setting up camp, though the darkening sky might be a little distracting. As time goes on flecks of fire drift down, though they extinguish before hitting the forest floor.
Orange are to travel to the north, Purple to the south and Blue and Red must travel together to the west. Each route takes them through thick and unrelenting jungle. Flying is difficult here unless you can get up past the canopy layer, which means vision of the ground is severely hampered.
The control stations themselves are half buried in vines and require cutting into. If voidtreckers are unlucky they will meet their first security robots here, firing on the intruders. They might even meet their first giant Armadillos, the creatures are curious and may wish to investigate. They are not helpful or constructive to trying to power up the stations and prevent the destruction of the planet.
The control stations are simple enough to operate, but there's quite a lot that needs to be done in way of repairs and clearing. It will take a team effort to get it in working enough order to activate the shield.
The shield itself, when it is activated, is mostly invisible but there is a loud humming sound. The meteor, which has gotten more visible throughout the five hours, hits the shield and splinters, fire enveloping the whole sky. It is visibly terrifying, but no fire falls to earth, no rocks get through, the planet is safe.
Ongoing
Once the planet is safe the voidtreckers deserve a rest. But once the next morning dawns it is time to start with their next tasks, to make sure that this planet stays safe from future threats.
Red
The robots at the control stations are not the only malfunctioning security robots around. They roam the jungle, or are more often stranded in the jungle, powering up only when faced with a new threat.
Some are benign, terraforming machines whose only crime is using up precious power. These need to be dismantled so that power can be saved for the shield system. Others are security robots that will attack the intruders to the planet.
Though the machines are scattered they are often obvious, emitting warning alarms or flashing lights. Their SCA's will show some areas where there are larger clusters but machines can be found anywhere.
Purple
Their SCA's are filled with hundreds of purple dots, each a solar stations that needs cleared and brought back online. It's not the most glamourous job, the stations are deep in the jungle, the treck is difficult and most of the work needed is weed clearing.
But once the weeds have been cut away they will need to patch up the station, doing basic maintenance to get it back online. In some cases wires need to be patched back together but it shouldn't take any great feats of engineering to get the stations up and running.
They may run into some of the security automatons, needing to fight their way into the stations before they can begin the clean up operations.
Orange
Like the red team their SCA will show areas where there are clusters of the small insectoid automatons that need to be rescued and restored. However they can be found anywhere throughout the jungle, they are not too suited for the terrain outside of the stations and so they have gotten tangled in vines. They can be found powered down, stranded and in dire need of maintenance.
Tools and spare parts can be found in many of the solar stations that purple team have been locating. Actually repairing the robots takes some engineering knowledge but once they are restored they will go about their tasks in the stations. They will need help getting to the further flung stations as well as the main control centres.
They are very basic in design and follow pre programmed instructions rather than being able to hear and listen to orders. But once in the correct place they are very effective at their job.
Blue
Once the shield is up there is a faint humming that can be heard throughout the jungle if they listen closely and find it among the sound of rain and insects. But once they hear it, it is obvious where it is louder and more prominent.
Their SCA will pin point some of the larger control boxes but there are truthfully too many to show on a map. Not all of them have attracted Violet Pandas, but many of them have.
They are curious creatures, both of the power boxes and the voidtreckers. They are protective of each other but not so much of territory and therefore it is not difficult to move them on. Keeping them away is another matter, the power humming is interesting and they will unearth wires and chew through them. It doesn't seem to do them much harm, there is clearly safety stops in the system for such eventualities. It does however cut power off to entire solar stations and require a lot of patch work.
Good luck voidtreckers!
no subject
His fingers interlock with Inigo's and the grip is so tight he feels as if he should apologize for the force. But it's a reassurance for Roland; that Inigo, a son, a son!, is alive. Right there, with him. Standing by his side. Not turning to dust. ]
If he does show up, I'll finally be able to give him a good beating.
[ Suddenly, Roland is the one who pulls a straight Inigo move, using their held hands to pull the boy to him. Arms around Inigo immediately, without much warning, hugging him like he was going to disappear. They've hugged so many times now, this shouldn't be a big deal by all accounts.
And yet, Inigo will notice it is charged with a different energy. It feels like Roland is hugging Inigo...because he's afraid. ]
Your SCA is on. Inigo, promise to keep me posted on your whereabouts when you can. Okay? Please. Please do not forget.
[ Even the way he speaks is not the same as it usually goes, the protectiveness that rolls off of Roland no longer warm nor inviting. Instead, its paranoid, like if he doesn't say these things to him now he'll regret it, so it comes out more worried than it should be. ]
[ As they embrace, Roland's eyes are still glued to the sky. Unbeknownst to both of them that their thoughts ran in the same vein: he won't let them go. He won't fail. ]
no subject
But that was always just warm. Just Roland trying his best to show his affection, his desire for Inigo to feel better. This is different - especially with those words that follow it up. And it's not even necessarily bad, since Inigo does feel assured to have Roland so close to him at a moment like this, but it's obvious Roland isn't doing well either. That he's also worried.
And who could blame him? They both lost loved ones in events that looked very similar to what may be about to happen here. Roland's heart must be trembling with the same fear as his own.
Inigo's gaze travels over to Roland's face, studying it as the man looks at the sky. ]
Father. [ It's said softly, yet there's a hint of a plea in it, as if Inigo wants to draw Roland's attention to him rather than to the sky.
And the word itself - it sounds more meant than ever, because it feels like they're falling into these roles more easily and stronger than ever before in these circumstances. ]
I'm not going anywhere else. I'm going with you to the purple point. [ Because he's sure Roland is heading there, as team leader, and there is absolutely no way Inigo could let the other out of his sight under these circumstances, even if purple would have enough people heading there already.
It's what Inigo promised Tidus too, after all. ]
We-- We should hurry. I don't know if we have enough time.
no subject
In the thick of it, the smell of burning and the sight of impending doom raining down on them, Roland is another man entirely. At least, for now, in the moment Inigo and him share as survivors. As ruined souls, no more wanting to see another apocalypse than any other person on this train. ]
[ He grips at Inigo's arms firm, tight. Roland nods without breaking eye contact. ]
Then you'll stay by my side.
[ A statement. Not a question. He won't ask this time, no. He needs this. He needs to know he can save at least one son, at least in one lifetime. He knows it's all in his head, he knows that's not even the case. This isn't even their world. But still. ]
Come on. Once this is over...Well. There's yet more work to be done.
[ But they'll do it together, too. Roland has always tried to look out for Inigo when he could, but this time around, he knows he's going to be a bit more attentive.
He moves and they continue to hold hands regardless of who's looking, or who's moving along with them to the station assigned. A sword is summoned in his free hand, ready to fight. ]
no subject
But at the same time.. Inigo doesn't want to let go of Roland's hand. No matter what. Maybe if there ends up being some huge sudden enemy here among the trees, but as long as he has the chance to keep holding on, Inigo wants to do so. It's the easiest thing to keep him going right now. Knowing that Roland is right there with him, also still moving, also doing his best. Knowing that they can't lose each other in the middle of this.
So instead of taking out his sword, Inigo instead summons his shield out of his Arms Band, proficient enough with using his off hand for that. And who knows, maybe he'll be able to provide Roland some cover with that if they get attacked out of nowhere.
So far, so good though. There mostly just seem to be trees and plants. Greenery everywhere he turns his head - thankfully blocking out a bit of the red sky overhead by now, though pieces of it are visible even through the leaves above.
They can't walk in silence like this. Not with that reminder hanging above them. Inigo is tense, and he knows Roland is too.. but then isn't it his job to try and do something about that? ]
Father, I'm.. I'm glad we're here together.
[ He smiles as he looks at Roland while they keep on moving. Thankfully he doesn't have to force it, considering the sentiment behind those words is true and strong enough that it naturally brings a smile to his face. Roland being there is the one relief in this situation, after all. ]
tw; mild descriptions of ptsd
All he can think about is the end. The red of the sky tattooed forever in his heart, his mind ablaze just like when clouds cut open and bled over his land. Failures, millions of lives, Will dead because Roland could not be the father he tried to live up to.
He can't feel anything but the warmth creeping up his face, the sides tingling and his ears ringing. There's so much jungle to traverse that he uses his sword like a machete, cutting and slicing through branch and leaf relentlessly. Then, Inigo speaks. And he hears them, but Inigo's words hurt him, despite not intending to. They hurt because he still thinks he doesn't deserve it; this second chance, this boy asking him to love him like a son. How many sons will pass his hands, dust falling like sand through his fingers? It was dark magic that made him see it, but it wasn't far from the truth. William's eyes melting, black and lifeless, It's too late for that now. Always too late, never enough.
He swings his sword with more force, splitting flora apart without consideration. Can't think, just wanting to get this over with. Just wanting to hold Inigo close and leave this godforsaken planet. This can't be easy on him either. The Fell Dragon could appear at any moment, that's what he said. What if it already has? What if this planet was just that; the manifestation of all their sorrows, finally come to finish the deed? And even then, Roland would be useless to stop the tides. ]
...I'd rather be together with you in a much better place than here.
[ For the first time in a long time, Roland allows himself to sound the way he feels. Forlorn. Frightened. He delays his movements and slows significantly until he manages to stop moving, stop walking, stop slashing and prodding at the pathway before them. His head drops, chin against his chest, as his eyes glaze over with a shadow reserved only for his deepest dreams. Nightmares.
The hand in Inigo's loosens, as if Roland has suddenly grown weak and defeated. ]
no subject
And one look at Roland's face is enough. Inigo has already seen this, after all. Maybe not specifically this, but a slightly milder version of it, perhaps. That day on the vulcano. He's known ever since then that this darkness resides in Roland - though it took him a much longer time to find out the exact nature of the darkness. What happened to his world. What happened to all the people he reigned over, was supposed to take care of. What happened to his son.
Inigo doesn't know how much he's seen of it. But something about the look in Roland's eyes suggests that he must have seen something, something that's being played back to him now in front of his eyes like a terrible movie reel.
Roland's grip grows looser, but that's exactly what makes Inigo's own grip grow only tighter in turn, determined to not let go of Roland's hand. Not now. ]
We will be. [ He says. Then repeats it, firmer this time. ] We will be. We're going to be in a much better place together. We're going back to Ylisse, defeat Grima, ask Naga for her help, and then live together in your restored world.
[ There's so many 'ifs' about that situation. They don't know for sure if they'll be able to go back together, if one of them won't leave the train prematurely, involuntarily. They don't know for sure whether Naga can or will restore Roland's world.
But he doesn't want to think about those right now. Inigo may need the reassurement of those things being definite, but he thinks Roland may need it more right now. A reminder that this is temporary. That the state of his world is temporary, because one way or another, Inigo wants to help set things right.
He tries to move so he's in Roland's line of sight. Trying to make sure the other looks at him, even if Roland's gaze may be unfocused. ]
I'm not giving up before we're there together. So you better not give up either.
[ If there's been any moment Inigo wishes he truly had a king's resolve, a king's power of speech, of determination - it's now. Anything to drag Roland back out of the abyss he's threatening to cast himself into right now. ]
I'm not stopping until you get to see Will again. [ It's the first time the name spills from his lips, ever since Roland told him about the boy. But maybe that's the exact reminder Roland needs. That he has a son back home he is going to see again, even if Inigo has to overturn fate all by himself. Even if Naga would ask for his life in return for the restoration of an entire world. Inigo doesn't care. ]
cw; terminal illness, child death
Roland shakes it off. Tries to. The attempt is not as strong as he would have liked, but it's an attempt nonetheless, made easier when the feeling of Inigo's words warm him. When Inigo's hand in his remains, and he moves to look at him in the eye. Inigo will see it; the reflection of someone broken, forced to be put together again to serve a greater purpose other than to succumb to the pain of losing it all. Roland knows Inigo has felt it himself. So he doesn't try, doesn't hide it, lets his head hang a bit lower still until he allows a moment of weakness. Just one moment where maybe he can admit the worst part of him to someone who understands the stakes.
Someone who's seen the loss and felt it with his own two hands. His forehead dips until it rests against the space between Inigo's neck and shoulder. He slips his hand free from Inigo's grasp so he can hold him by the other shoulder like an anchor, like he was sinking down unto the earth. There are no tears, but his voice is hushed, a cry of pain all on its own. ]
Maybe you can just ask Naga to save him instead. [ A hitched breath. His fingers grasp at the fabric it finds, his shirt bunched up, Roland's hand in a controlled tremor. His tongue is lead as he spills a confession. ] William is sick. He was born with an illness that has no cure. He's been bedridden for years. [ The tremor grows. He hides against this space, against Inigo, perhaps another son he will fail- ] The day my nation ended, he was probably watching from the hospital window...The missile coming in, exploding. The sky red, just like this. Just like now.
[ Roland coughs out a laugh, absent of joy. ] So if my world is gone, that's okay. That's on me. You can - you can ask Naga to save Will, though. Right? Just him. Be with him, live with him instead. Heal him. Give him a good life.
[ His sword trembles now too. This is all he's been thinking about, at the back of his mind. What the bleeding clouds remind him of; the hell he saw once, and never forgot. The father who buried his own child, turned to dust, swept away into the wind. ]
1/2
He knows the feeling of seeing this sort of sky, that it makes you think of when you've witnessed it before. He knows about trying to cope with the idea of absolutely everything being gone. And while he hasn't dealt with a terminal illness before, Inigo knows what it's like to watch someone look so weak, slowly wane away, like his mother before--
But this. This isn't the way. It's like Roland's words clench around Inigo's heart like a vice, squeezing harder and harder the more of them leave his mouth. And Inigo can't help but listen, stunned, disbelieving. Maybe he should get it, because Inigo would sacrifice his life in an instant for just about anyone he cares about, but he's never been as good at giving up on others as he is at giving up on himself. ]
No.
[ Inigo's voice shakes a bit, but his tone sounds resolute. His arms don't even move to embrace Roland in turn while the other clings onto him. Inigo just stands there, unmoving. ]
Why would you do that to him? Haven't you thought of a moment what that would be like for him? Do you know just how many times he'd think of you, wondering what he did wrong for you to be gone? How many times he'd blame himself? [ Inigo knows. Because that's what he did, over, and over, and over. How could Roland wish that fate upon his own son? Having to live with some stranger he's never met before, having to build up a life from scratch?
He puts a hand on Roland's shoulder, forcibly moving him backwards. Not away from him entirely, but just enough so he can look Roland straight in the eyes, unyielding. Like a flame inside of Inigo that doesn't see the light of day except for in the most desperate situations. ]
What he needs is his father. Whether he's healthy or not.
[ For a moment Inigo closes his eyes, shaking his head, but then he's right back to looking at the other. ]
Of course we will bring back your world. And we'll make sure he's healthy too, while we're at it. But don't forget for a moment that what he needs the most is for you to come back to him. He needs you.
no subject
The edges of the look in his eyes soften as Inigo hesitates, then speaks again. ]
.. Me too. I need you. [ Even though he knows Roland's priority should be Will - Inigo wants it to be Will too, more than anything. He wants those two to reunite, no matter what.
But he knows that selfish desire exists than in more than just a corner of his heart. And while Inigo is usually quick to quietly tuck it away, force himself into the background, if saying those words can help bring back Roland's determination even just a little bit-- then he'll actually say them, admit to it. ]
no subject
[ He doesn't know at what point Inigo became this good at reaching for Roland's heart. Maybe he's always been this strong to begin with, anyway, and Roland's just viewed him in a differently because of his fondness, his bias to protect him. That's always been how he's tackled everything in his life; hide it deep within, never let them see how much you've cracked. It won't matter. It won't do. What more to your children - to your son who needs you?
What he needs is his father.
And the apparition, the William who appeared to them in Memory Lane was not a ghost pretending to hurt Roland. He was real. Did he not say the same thing? A plea for him, come find him, save him. A collection of thoughts and feelings culminating in his form. The words he says then, piercing him through. My dad can't be there for my funeral. My dad's too busy...
But even there, Roland has failed too, hasn't he? He stands up straighter, lifts his head from Inigo's shoulder and takes a deep breath, steadying himself, his walls and gears moving in place as they have always done to keep him focused. He looks away, to the side, a glance with only the bob of his throat to tell Inigo he's still there, present. ]
Would you still feel the same if you knew how terrible I was at being a father? [ He doesn't mean to sound the way he does, but it comes out harsh. Not at Inigo, never. At himself. At the mirror he must face down, the stare from another Roland in another time. Older, tired, at the brink. At the end. ]
He...He probably resented me. I know he loves me, but I'm certain of it. With how often I worked, how often I never got to see him even after his mother...
[ He won't meet Inigo's gaze. He won't do it. But this son he has now, the one he chose...Well, he deserves to know all of Roland, doesn't he? So he can make that choice too, to need him, even when Roland's done nothing but fail at every turn. The Memory Lane proved as much. He had to talk to him afterwards to promise him he'd come back to save him. But now - now... ]
no subject
[ It's still the more quiet tone, rather than the harder, determined one from a moment earlier. But it's still said quickly, easily, because it's just the truth. Because Inigo can see the obvious parallel running here. He never thought before about the similarities between his situation and Will's, but now he sees it.
Even if Roland looks away, Inigo keeps looking at him, unyielding. Staring even when he gets no contact in return. ]
I knew that he was busy for important reasons. I knew I was only one person, and that he had to look out for everyone. [ Inigo still recalls it. So many instances of being tucked in by his mother at night, asking if father would be home sometime soon, only to be told by his mother that she wasn't sure, that he was out there hard at work, fighting for the halidom. He remembers hearing people talk about his father and having trouble connecting the image of the great and amazing Exalt he had in his head with the concept of his father. Like a shadow looming over him - an expectation to live up to someone he felt like he never even knew. ] Of course I was sad. And I missed him, and I really wished he'd be there, but.. I understood. I wasn't mad at him. Children understand more than you think.
[ But that doesn't make it right. Well, it's fine in his case, it's right in his case, because Inigo wouldn't ever dare to think of wanting something for himself. It's fine if his father was absent, if it left a hole in Inigo's heart that he's not quite sure what to do with, that he's desperately trying to fill up here through his connection with Roland.
But Will.. it's different for him. It must have been harder. At least Inigo still had his mother until she died after his father did. At least Inigo had his sister. At least Inigo was healthy.
Inigo's heart desperately reaches out across the void, as if it may be able to reach the boy that way. What do you feel, Will? Was it the same? Inigo knows he's a poor messenger, a poor substitute, but what would Will have wanted his father to know, to hear? ]
So instead.. see it as a second chance when you get back. [ When. When, when, when, never if. He refuses to entertain the very notion of if when it comes to that. ] If you regret it, then spend more time with him this time around. Make time for him somehow.
[ It's not too late yet. Inigo kept his distance from his own father in the past, putting up a front since he knew he would only be in the other's life temporarily anyway, he knew that that Chrom would belong to a different Inigo. It was already far too late for them.
But that isn't the case for Roland and Will. They can still--
Inigo swallows. ]
It's not too late yet to change things. It's not over for you.
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Roland finally tears his gaze away from the nothingness of Nion's empty jungle and reddening sky, stares at Inigo right back with a grief that masks something deeper, darker. And the smile he flashes Inigo then, is not one of joy or relief. It's empty, it's sad. It's lonely.
His feet cross the distance in a few strides and his hands come up to the sides of Inigo's face, a tender act he has done so many times now for the boy, though today feels noticeably different. He strokes his cheeks as if he is committing Inigo's face and features and feeling to memory; as if one day, he will no longer have him in his arms ever again. ]
One person is all that should matter.
[ He loved his nation, but he loved his son more. Chrom would say it too, had he been in this position. He was. You don't just die for the country. Chrom died for his children. For the one family he cares most about. Roland cannot explain it in words. He can't say that the only way he knows how to love his family, his son, is through complete and utter service to the world. To shape it in an image that will be kinder to him, to them, to Will, to Inigo. To give them the future, whatever it might be. Yes, there was no excuse. William and Inigo didn't deserve to feel this way, that the one didn't matter over the rest.
On the contrary, they were the only ones that did matter, that should matter. Roland just doesn't know how better to love; what greater calling is there but sacrifice?
He continues to smile as he strokes Inigo's face, feathery and light. The voice he usually uses to command attention in a room, is changed now. Softer around the edges, quieter than he's ever been. ]
It's not too late for me...huh? [ There's a lot he could say, but he doesn't. There would be a place and time for it, on his own, later. ] I guess that means I just have to work a little bit harder. I...have to make that happen, right?
[ The fingers that stroke his cheeks move up to just below his eyes, a move he did before in Jema'grethy, and one he mimics again. The Brand in Inigo's eye, cutting a stark image against dark pupils. For some reason, the hollowness in his smile transforms into something else. Something...even Roland does not know how to describe should he ever see it for himself.
Perhaps the next words he tells Inigo will be the compass. ]
Chrom and Olivia. And Lucina too...They're so blessed to have someone like you. And the old them? They're missing out on the best damn prince Ylisse will ever have.
[ He hesitates to say something else. But eventually, he speaks again, one last thing before he lets Inigo go, hands falling back down, and eventually, his sword reappearing as he readies to make the station. The red sky waits for no one. ]
Thank you. I'm glad I met you, Inigo.
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Even the tenderness isn't new to Inigo. It's rare for the man to get this sweetly affectionate, sure, but it's not the first time. It still makes him freeze on the spot, but he can handle it.
But then.. those words. That's what he can't handle. Even with the improvements he's made to himself on the train, self esteem is still hard to come by. So there is no way Inigo can feel like he deserves to hear those words. He's no great prince, no Exalt material, not special or outstanding in any way.
He's just a guy trying to get by. That's all. Just someone trying to get through to one of the people most important to him.
So what is he then supposed to say to that?
There's nothing he can think of. So when Roland starts walking again, Inigo does so too - immediately following the other, but quietly, wordless. Trying his best to look ahead, rather than staring up at that much too red sky.
Silent seconds stretch into minutes, into entirely quiet stretches of time before Inigo speaks up again during their trek. ]
.. are we getting close?
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[ It's almost as if they weren't stuck in that moment, frozen in time as two hearts beat in unison to the sound of grief, of loss. Suddenly, they're back to work, trying to mull over thoughts and feelings brought about by a fiery firmament too close to a home they've all but said farewell to. And yet they continue onwards, the only people left to fight for what once was.
Roland will never again underestimate the visions of those on the train.
He points with the tip of his sword; the ruined entrance to an abandoned station, covered in colorful overgrowth and poisonous mushrooms to the side of its gates. It stood on a rocky slope, that looked like it needed to be climbed. ]
Here. I'll boost you.
[ He kneels on one leg and offers his hands cupped together from below, giving Inigo leverage to jump and grab unto the ledge that led to a couple more upward slopes. ]