The Endless River

[voidtreckermods]

On the morning of day twenty one of the month of Kazoo there is a message on the ICP screens around the train. Their SCA's will light up the colour of the Void and show the following information.

World #398050 is a void nexus known locally as Tshering. As a void nexus this world has strong links with the void and the connection through worlds. World #398050 is home to the Endless River. Legends speak of this river being powerful enough to send thoughts from one heart to another across any distance. All that is needed is for you to know who it is you wish to reach.

On-board

The dressing carriage is open, filled with clothing best suited to a pleasant spring day. Light, airy and in a rainbow of joyful colours and florals. One closet is entirely filled with wide-brimmed hats bedecked with ribbons, feathers and ornaments. A stack of picnic baskets and containers filled with an alarming variety of passenger-suitable foodstuffs and flasked drinks sits in one corner, next to rolls of thick, weatherproof blankets in the four team colours.

The large box marked Do Not Use Yet, filled with small, empty jute bags, is hopefully still sat in the Luggage carriage, ready for passengers to grab handfuls of its contents as directed by the announcement.

Upon landing (after an appropriate countdown), the train remains on the surface, its carriages partially curved to form a gathering site for the day. Welcome to Tshering, the eighth void nexus!



A Day for Picnics

Tshering, system #398050, is a strange place, only habitable by grace of the passengers' SCAs. The sky is shot through with colours, a cascade of sunsets, and through it, the void shimmering through it in seams like a child's painting of the milky way. Still, there's a beauty to the chaotic mash of colours that soaks through its landscape, and in the shelter of the forests of towering funghi that dot its surface, the Void can go unseen by its visitors.

The temperature seems mild, suitable for the provided clothing, and if there are weather patterns around the world they've taken the day off. The funghi are sturdy enough that what air flow there is doesn't disturb their stalks, and carved grooves and holds in some of the larger examples indicate that climbing them to sit atop their glowing crowns is eminently possible, and, in fact, encouraged.

the Endless River

The Endless River is a font of pure chaos, flowing from a multitude of small rivulets across the area to a central reservoir, from which it pours directly upwards, away from Tshering's surface and out of sight, beyond the world's atmosphere.

Anything bagged and placed within the Endless River will also flow upwards and soon be out of sight, passing, presumably, into the Void. Scattered across the surface of Tshering are small, glittering pebbles, as described in the announcement.

The stones are pleasantly cool to the touch, and all passengers need to do is feel. Messages can be in any form that the Voidtreckers wish. Perhaps words, perhaps feelings, perhaps an image from their mind into the stone. Perhaps a mixture. Once they begin their message the stone will glow slightly and continue to glow as they secure it in the bag and cast it into the river. They will feel, almost instinctively, that they need to focus as they do so, thinking of the person they wish to reach all the while.

There are plenty of bags and many more stones; passengers will not be limited in their sendings.

Comments

[bakegarasu]

"... Mm." It's not a yes, and not a no. He twitches like he's going to get up, but he doesn't move. He can't... keep Ryo safe. He can try, but... he can't really explain, given how much his throat hurts.

[fivemilesdeep]

"That's not an answer."

But pushing Otoha into a corner isn't going to help, and he amends a bit. "I'm not going to be angry if you get upset, or have trouble finding words or choosing which one you'd rather explain." A beat. "I'll only be angry if you run." It lays a few ground rules, at least - hopefully enough for Otoha to work with.

He holds Otoha's hand in his and reaches out with his magic, checking Otoha over. There's the knuckles and the neck to contend with; he needs to know if there's any worse injuries before he starts.

[bakegarasu]

He's not going to run. Not really. Whether he'll talk or not is another issue entirely. He closes his eyes and lets Ryo's magic take hold. The rest of the injuries are just minor scrapes from when he fell in the dirt as well as a bruised toe from kicking one of the mushrooms later. He keeps himself still, ignoring the urge to just pull back.

He shouldn't have gone to get healed. It's not worth it. He's not worth Ryo's time.

[fivemilesdeep]

Given that pulling back has the potential to kill them both while they're connected, it's a good thing Otoha resists that urge.

The lack of internal injuries is reassuring, at least, and Ryo reaches out again, easing his magic into Otoha's life and repairing his wounds. That Otoha can't feel the pain that goes along with it is small comfort, but comfort nonetheless. He pulls his magic back and lets go of Otoha's hand. "There. You should be fine."

It's the work of less than a minute to finish packing up his basket - hopefully Otoha sticks around for that long. If he does, Ryo picks up his basket with one hand and offers the other to Otoha. "Let's go."

[bakegarasu]

Otoha doesn't respond verbally, just watches Ryo pack, occasionally handing him something if it drops. He doesn't take Ryo's hand, just tucks his into his pockets and hunches his shoulders. It doesn't really matter what Ryo says to him - he's going to stay quiet as they walk.

[fivemilesdeep]

It's a quiet walk as they return to the train. At least Otoha hasn't bailed on him - it could always be worse. Ryo doesn't bother to put the basket away, instead bringing it with him as they enter the quiet car. Ryo picks the first available quiet room, waiting until both he and Otoha enter to close and lock the door behind them. "You've had some time to decide," he says levelly. "Which would you rather explain?"

[bakegarasu]

He sits down, not looking at Ryo. "... Someone got hurt. Tried to help them. Hurt them instead. Hurt the one who hurt them. Got hurt. Came to you." That's the whole story, really. Details? No. But it's enough.

At least to him.

[fivemilesdeep]

It's definitely not the full story, but it's something, at least. He takes a seat on one of the benches and sets the basket down. "Someone hurt someone else," he says slowly, trying to reason it out. "Someone you care about." Because otherwise Otoha wouldn't be nearly this upset - and he is upset, and showing it in his own way. "You tried to help them, and it didn't work, so you got revenge on the person who hurt them first." He's quiet for a few moments, thinking, then: "Did it help?"

[bakegarasu]

"... Doesn't matter if it helped me or not. What matters is the message being sent." Your side gets hurt, you hurt them back. That's been one of the primary rules he's lived his life under. It's not the same here, but what else was he supposed to do?

That feeling is pressing in on his chest again, and it feels harder to breathe. He's not sure how to stop it, so he just puts a hand over his heart and tries to breathe normally.

[fivemilesdeep]

"It does, though." Sorry, Otoha, you're not getting past it that easily. "It matters because you made that choice." He wasn't a weapon taking orders - he'd gone after whoever'd hurt his friend on purpose. "So. Did it help."

Otoha putting his hand on his chest doesn't escape Ryo's notice - he'll keep an eye on that for now.

[bakegarasu]

"... I don't..." His voice goes faint and he closes his eyes. "... I don't know?" Did it help him? No. Did it help Rich? Maybe. He has no idea. All of this is confusing, and he's broken everything and he should just...

He stands up like he's considering leaving.

[fivemilesdeep]

Ryo stands as well, calmly putting himself between Otoha and the door. "We're not done yet." It's a calm statement of fact. "Take a seat."

[bakegarasu]

"I'm just going to end up hurting you, too. You know that." There's no emotion in his voice, his expression going blank. Just forget emotion. Just forget everything about trying to be human. Just... leave it all behind.

[fivemilesdeep]

Ryo doesn't move. "I know you well enough to know you wouldn't do it on purpose, and I've been hurt on purpose enough to know the difference."

But... "Is that what's bothering you? That you hurt someone you care about?"

[bakegarasu]

".. Of course it is. ... Failed. Failed to protect them. Failed again. Probably better this way... won't get shot or hurt for being around me. Won't... get killed. Won't..."

His voice trails off and he looks away. "... Deserve better than a thing. Deserve better than a weapon."

[fivemilesdeep]

"Well, it's a good thing you're a person, then." It's out of his mouth almost automatically, and unlike most things that make it out without perusal, he stands behind that one.

That said, Otoha sounds like he's holding himself to far too high a standard, and...he doesn't actually know that, does he. That's part of the problem, isn't it.

He sighs. "Accidentally hurting people you love...it happens. You won't always know the right thing to say, or you will, and they won't want to hear it. You'll want to help them, and they won't want help, or they'll want you, and you won't be there because you don't know. It..." He shrugs a bit haplessly. "It's part of being human, and humans aren't perfect. You need to be able to forgive yourself, even if you don't think you deserve it." Or especially if he doesn't think he deserves it - given how he's talking, Ryo's pretty sure he doesn't.

[bakegarasu]

He glances over at Ryo before looking down. He laughs a little weakly, shaking his head. "How could... how could I forgive myself for hurting someone I care about? If I... if something happened to you... on top of what I did to... to him, I..."

Breathe. He has to remember to breathe. He sits down hard, trying to keep himself together. "I'm a failure of a brother..."

[fivemilesdeep]

On the one hand, he's no longer trying to escape; on the other hand, this isn't exactly a good sign. Ryo takes a seat next to Otoha, gently taking one of Otoha's hands in his. "You're not a failure," he says, tone firm. If nothing else, that needs to be imparted. "You're new at this, and you've set the bar for yourself way too high." He pauses, weighing his options - going here might make it worse, but it also might be a much-needed reality check. "You know what a bad brother looks like, and you know you're not that."

Deep breath in; let it out slowly; continue on. "You need to forgive yourself, because if you don't, you'll get stuck. You can't get better if you don't give yourself room to breathe."

[bakegarasu]

He twitches, half convinced he should pull away, but he doesn't. His hand closes around Ryo's loosely, allowing for escape if he wants. "... I... yes, but... I don't... I don't do forgiveness." He doesn't even really know what it feels like. This is all so new to him, and he feels like he's bashing his head against walls he didn't know were going to be there.

Had he and Reiji even fought? He hadn't really spoken much... most of their private relationship had been peaceful. He can't remember them having much disagreement. And Reiji's the only one he has for reference...

"I don't... I don't want to hurt people who don't deserve it..." He'd done enough of that.

[fivemilesdeep]

He tightens his grip on Otoha's hand just a bit, still gentle but now firm. "Then it's time you learned. It's not easy - forgiving yourself is much harder than forgiving other people - but it's better than driving yourself crazy." It's better than getting crushed under the weight of your own mistakes, real or imagined.

He sighs. "I told you, it's part of being human. It happens sometimes - that's where the forgiveness comes in. But you're not doing it on purpose, which puts you a step above a lot of people."

[bakegarasu]

"... Sometimes I think being human isn't worth the effort." It's hard, and it hurts in ways that he didn't think he could be hurt, and he keeps fucking it up. He's always saying or doing the wrong thing.

"... I don't know how to do it." Being human? Forgiving? ... Yes.