middleofsomewhere | So Familiar a Gleam: Conclusion

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So Familiar a Gleam: Conclusion

Time to leave!

There is not much of the city left, but the park is holding together as those anchoring help those who are not voidtreckers through back to where they belong. Monsters continue to attack and a little further out there is a battle of hearts and minds being fought with the mass of colours and chaos.

Eventually, after the bulk of citizens had been evacuated everyone with SCA's on would hear Jin-Roh's voice after a few frantic beeps, as Chiff aligned everyone's SCA's. "We are almost done here, if you are with anyone not tethered to a voidcraft get them to the evacuation point, as quickly as possible."

Anan pulls out of the anchoring point to call out to any defenders in the park. "Come on! Anyone who isn't a voidtrecker! It's time to go."

Luckily those off fighting the entity headed the message and made their way to the park as Jin Roh spoke again.

"Everyone else get ready. When we call it you need to leave. If you don't have your SCA on then get to someone who does."

As the last people rushed to the park Anan calls out again, through her SCA and outloud to the park. "You need to unanchor, before you can evacuate. Everyone be ready."

She goes in again though, because there are some last people, those from the large battle, getting through as another message was called.

"Almost there. Be ready. On my command..."

Anan unanchored again. "Quick everyone unanchor."

"NOW" Jin Roh's voice came through strong on their SCA's. Hopefully those with SCA's would grab those without.

There is some outside help as well, the train pulls anyone who is unconscious or still under the entity's control, forcibly evacuating them. This includes Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and Zagreus.

Luggage Carriage

There has been a mass evacuation before and that was crazy enough but since then the population of the train has almost doubled and now it is an extremely tight squeeze as everyone crashes into the luggage carriage at the same time.

The train jerks and rolls as they enter into the void at breakneck speed and again as they seem to slow, rather than speeding off though the void.

There's a crackling from their SCA's. "Voidtreckers? Voidtreckers come in!" Anan's voice. "Please tell me you made it..."

There's only a few moments of signal and soon they are flying though the void again, away from the strange non-world, the entity sealed for now. To new adventures, but first hopefully some time to recover from all that has happened.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"'S why you're a genius," he says. "Nothing for anyone to have to clean up." Maybe they should serve everybody's meals in cones for the next few days.

He's crunching into his with determination-- he needs a lot of calories to make this big body run. "Kinda works, right?" he says after a mouthful, pausing to tuck an errant slice of vegetable back inside.

--Ah. He pauses, and this time his fiddle with the cone is mere fidgeting. "I was worried about him, too," he says, a chasm of exhaustion and concern yawning open with this words. It's been a long mission.

"I know some folks cut up loaves of bread but I cain't... really..."

He bares his teeth and makes a motion around his mouth. Too much thick bread is a problem for that mouth. So ice cream cone it is. Easier for him to just crunch through.

"At least he didn't do the dumbass thing I did." He says it was dumbass, but he would do it again. Wear himself out dragging people across, even the ones that were screaming every step of the way, minds reeking of the illusory stink that surrounded them.

He closes his eyes and sees colors behind the lids again. "He seems like he's doin' alright now."

"Huh. Never would have thought of that, but with those choppers..." Yeah, he can see now how a couple of thick slices of the rich, homemade bread they get here could pose a problem.

He washes his latest mouthful down with coffee and nods. "He's a survivor," he says, perhaps a bit obliquely but sincere nonetheless.

But Koumyou's not here right now, and Yondu is. He peers at the other man across the table and asks gently, "What dumbass thing did you do?"

"It ain't a huge problem. I can eat it. But still... this was just easier."

He finishes off his cone quickly and starts tearing off strips of the sandwich meat to eat.

"Just went too hard. For too long. Didn't pay attention to the fact I'm gettin' old." Didn't care that he was getting old. It was reckless and stupid. "Dragged across ones I saw fightin' back. Made 'em go home. By the time I was done I just-"

And then he remembers, and looks over at the ICP. "I need to check if they made it back." He saw the hair of the other girls, but he hadn't immediately seen Tani nor Cherry.

"I had one of those," Devero says, grimacing with the memory, "and they was enough. You did more than one?" He can't help but be impressed. Anchoring had been hard enough with the cooperative and unconscious ones.

He follows Yondu's line of sight, his own eyes widening. "Who?" he asks, automatically pushing himself up off the bench.

"I didn't get long to look, but there was people missin'." He shambles his way over to the ICP, leaving the remaining food behind so he could scroll through names. Tani's name in yellow. Cherry's name in yellow.

Jack's name in yellow? (Okay, that one's not so bad.)

Hecate's name in yellow.

He looks over to Devero, expression still tired, but stricken. He's never been great at masking his feelings, he always had to turn his face away before, or just focus on the bad emotions so no one knew. The loss is obvious.

"When Raven got in trouble... an' before I called the scouts, I lost track of all of 'em. I just... I was focussin' on gettin' us all home. The whole of the crew." And he'd missed them along the way.

Devero joins him, having managed to bring his coffee with him. He sips it-- and then chokes when he sees some of those gold names on the roster himself. Entrapta? V?

He's just as stricken as Yondu when their eyes meet. He reaches out and grabs the Centaurian's shoulder as the room tilts dizzily around him. So many gold names and he'd been so caught up with Koumyou during the mission that he has no idea if these folks were in the city, or part of the fight.

"Do you think they were-- left behind?" he asks, his voice hollow with the horror of the possibility.

Edited 2021-07-28 05:21 (UTC)

He does stop by V's name too, frowning, before turning off the ICP. He doesn't want to look anymore. But at least he doesn't brush Devero's hand off.

"Tani wanted to go find her friends when she came to. So I didn't stop her. Cherry I just... I figured she was alright. I didn't think to look for her."

Maybe it was too much to keep 'em tethered.

He just considers it, and also the fact that V was someone else who had nowhere to go. That its miserable that he was doomed in this place. He wanders back to his seat, not hungry anymore. Okay, that's bullshit. He's very hungry and he remembers that as soon as he's by the food. But it does feel like something went very wrong.

Devero follows him back-- directly so, sitting down beside Yondu this time instead of across from him. He sets his mug back down and puts his face into his hands.

"They might still be onboard," he mumbles after a moment. "They come out of luggage sometimes when they're gold, right? This doesn't-- doesn't mean they're gone, unless we see them leave at a-- at a platform."

He doesn't sound remotely sure about that, though, not after the nightmare ending of this last mission. If some of their people got sealed in there with the entity, would the train bother to let them know? Would there be any way to know?

"An' Raven said she'd come back once."

Yondu rolls up another snack for himself out of the sandwich meat, even if he's less enthusiastic about filling up now.

"Some folks come back an' don't remember, though. That's the rough part. Or they come back, it's the same face, but there's this whole new life behind it what didn't include nothin' you knew."

He rubs his forehead. "I got her a coat." He mutters that part sadly, softly.

"I've heard that from others, too," Devero says. "That they leave the train and come back."

But he's heard the other thing, too. That happened to Soldat, didn't it? They'd been preceded on the train by another version of themself and had been getting deadnamed for a while because of it.

"...Fuck. Oh mate, I'm sorry." Yondu hadn't rejected his gesture before so he reaches out again, taking one of Yondu's hands as long as it's free and giving it a squeeze. "Try not to give her up for lost yet, yeah? Either of them."

The thing is, at any time 90% of Yondu's skin is covered up. Him taking off and showing his feet, or shedding his coat and pulling off the few bits of clothes he removes at night in order to make himself 'comfortable' is a rarity.

So the pat to his shoulder was one thing, the hold to his hand makes him freeze up. He can hug (usually roughly) pile on top of someone he likes, have them plop onto him. But there's a weird moment when a grown man's hand easily enters his for comfort that makes him freeze up and his tired eyes go briefly wide.

He doesn't jerk away, he just looks very surprised for a moment, even down at the hand. Which, he might note, does feel a little bit thicker and smoother than human skin. One of those tiny differences.

Finally he just says a, "I feel like I lost too many folks to get my hopes up."

Devero feels the way he freezes and holds very still himself, waiting to see if he needs to take himself away and apologize. But the other man seems surprised more than anything, and doesn't try to pull away, so Dev doesn't either.

"Yeah," he says quietly. "Can't blame you there. You've got to protect your heart." Only then does he flex his fingers in a light squeeze and glance sidelong at Yondu. "This okay? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

He looks at Devero, then down at his hand, then back up at Devero.

"I don't know why you're doin' it." He says bluntly, but doesn't shake him off. "I figured you just saw I was an asshole an' kept your space. No shame in that."

Just why comfort him now? He doesn't understand how Devero would suddenly find him deserving of it. But at least from their previous discussion, Devero might understand the place that comes from.

He doesn't answer right away. It's true that he's kept his distance a little from Yondu, but it's not because the other man's an asshole. It has more to do with the fact that Devero'd been ashamed to have lost control of his emotions when he'd learned that Yondu's own parents had been the ones who sold him, that day back in Kazoo. He'd been the asshole then, or at the very least really callous. And in front of someone he'd already come to admire?

Embarrassing as hell.

Knowing as he does now that Yondu and Koumyou are close helps too. If the man's important to Koumyou, then he's worth inclusion on the list of Devero's People. But even beyond that, Yondu's told Devero enough for Dev to have a sense of how much pain lies in his past, and to be able to guess at the shape of the walls he's built to protect himself. Those walls have made Yondu rough around the edges, sure. But Devero has a new perspective on that in the form of Koumyou's surly shithead of a son, around whom Devero had spent more than enough time this mission.

Genjo Sanzo's pretty rough around the edges too, but he's had to be, to protect his own heart.

Of course, articulating all of that is easier said than done, if Devero's even consciously aware of it all. What he actually says is, "I can be a real asshole myself sometimes, but I've got people on my side anyway. Why shouldn't you? Especially after this nightmare mission. You deserve support as much as any of the rest of us."

Yondu has the impression of a ridiculous old 'diabeetus' looking stray cat that always comes out to be pet when kids are around and will let little girls pick up his mangy hide and carry him, but a giant adult man normally has him fluffed up. But Dev's lucky. He's caught the old critter tired and unwilling to hiss and spat.

"You don't gotta pity me or nothin'." He makes sure Devero knows that. "Hurts, but I'm used to losin' people. I knew I would before, I know I will again." And the best favor he can do for the people supporting his is be lost but he doesn't say that. Though there's a little voice in the back of his head that reminds him that he ran himself ragged in the half hope he'd not make it out of there.

But he did. He came drag-assing out of that portal over and over again, after having picked people that'd resist.

Surprisingly or not he does return the squeeze with his blue hand, though, as if to wordlessly say it didn't go unappreciated, before reclaiming the limb.

"I don't pity you. I respect you." He makes sure Yondu knows that.

He lets the other man take his hand back, rubbing his thumb thoughtfully over the pads of his fingers once his own is empty again. Yondu's skin had felt a little different from his own, strange and-- well, alien.

"Around here, I think we all have to be ready to lose people," he muses, wrapping both hands now around his mug. "The train giveth, and the train taketh away. Just--" A pause. "Remember you're not alone, yeah?"

Not yet, anyway. Is the thing that he doesn't say. He doesn't have many people, even less now. He was starting to think he was settling but now it feels less so than ever before.

But it does make him think of a harder question.

"If you got somethin' could I record somethin' for Koumyou in case I get taken off the train, too? Just... somethin' for him to hear... Maybe a few other people."

Devero looks taken aback by the request, but only for a moment. Then he nods and taps his Interface. "This records," he says. "I can set it up to handheld mode and let you borrow it." Three, four months ago the very idea of letting someone else borrow his personal Interface would have made his heart seize up; here, now, he doesn't hesitate.

He also raises a finger into the air and boops something he can only see, thanks for saiid Interface. A moment later a certain drone comes motoring out of the shadows it had been lurking in, tassel-tail trailing behind it. "Beepers can record too," he adds as it joins them, hovering above the table. "I can set you up as a user and then all you'd have to do is tell it when you want it to do."

He looks tiredly around the dining car just to make sure no one else is around.

"Whichever one is easier. Upstairs. Let's go up there an' I'll talk to 'im." He gets up and trudges his way up the stairs, still tired so it's a lot of effort, but it's more out of the way for what he wants to say. And he might as well get it all out now that he knows the train could hold on so many of 'em so easily.

Devero hadn't expected Yondu to want him around while he does it, but he nods and follows him. He's not going to object if this is how Yondu wants to do it; he can tell that the other man needs this.

The second floor of the dining car is empty. Who wants to haul their tired ass up here after everything that happened? Even sturdy Devero is feeling the effort as he crests the stairs, and Sir Beepers trills softly at him, nudging his ear with an extended tarsal. Devero waves the little drone off with one hand-- it floats away to sulk-- and takes off his Interface with the other.

"This is easiest," he says, holding it up in indication. "I can make it a handheld and you can talk to it, or I can wear it and you can-- talk to me? Whatever you want to do."

"I don't know what the hell I'm doin'. This is a spur of the moment, my brain is tired an' I wanna get all the shit out of it moment. An' I don't want no pity for it. I just want 'em to have it in case the train gets done with me."

So basically he has no plans. But he finds a different seat to plop into. Realizes this would maybe have looked better without his tired face and still just a recording of sound. But whatever, he might as well get it out. Lookin' pretty ain't the point, neither is lookin' impressive.

"You decide." He's not the expert with Dev's tech here.

"I'll take care of the recording part, then," Devero says, and puts his Interface back on. "You just talk to me, Yondu. Tell me what you want to tell them."

Spur of the moment as this is-- and as reticent as Yondu's been-- it seems best to start immediately. This feels important, and he doesn't want Yondu to talk himself out of something he seems to need. Devero pulls up the camera functionality and triggers it immediately, then gestures. "You're on. Go ahead."

"Alright, I'll uh... I'll do Koumyou first." He knows he's going to end up rambling, as becoming a rambly old man is something he does. And it'll be odd to mention Dev in front of himself. So he chooses to not look at him, just look somewhere off to the side that ain't him.

It's a survival tactic he's learned to make good use of.

But he starts talking. "Never thought I'd meet someone what had me figured out right off the bat. We sure did that. I didn't think I'd have that. Funny thing is, somehow despite what we got alike, we ended up differ'nt enough that mine was mostly a life wasted and yours was a life well spent. If either of us get to go somewhere after this damn train, an' it came down to one, I hope it's you.

"I don't know where that fog leads, but I want it to go to somethin' good. But you hang in there, an' I hope you and your man finally get away from your old life. You get somethin' that's yours an' don't be afraid of havin' it. You're strong enough to defend it. You've got that much fight in ya."

Alright, well. That bit's out. And he figures Devero knows even better how Koumyou expects bad things to come of caring.

Onward, though, best get these out while he's got the momentum. "Nextun' is Soldat." He winces a little. The man's lost enough, he doesn't know if it'll hurt more than help. "If it seems like he cain't take it, don't give it to 'im." He doesn't want to make it worse.

"I ain't ever had someone invest that much time an' energy into makin' me feel like I belonged. I ended up shook by it. Never figured out how exactly to pay it back, an' I don't think I did a decent enough job payin' it forward. But you did make a difference." He's never had someone go so far as to try and learn his language even.

"I meant it when I said all of you was good. Every last one in your head. I loved every bit of it. First time bein' loved back, too, as far as I know. Thanks for the memories. If I keep goin', I'm always gonna have a little bit of what a good kinda life feels like in me." Which he never had a chance for before. He gestures to himself. "Don't give up on bein' a person 'cause you was so damn good at it. If I get to keep goin', I'm gonna miss ya."

Alright. He's said that one, and that one was heavy as hell. It's followed with an exhausted sigh.

"Don't make fun of me for this one." He finally looks at Dev, away from that far off place. "It don't matter, this one is stupid of me. But I'm gonna say it' 'cause maybe sayin' it'll get it out of my head."

Alright, onward ho. Where's that far off place he's used to lookin for. "This one's for Siebren. Sanzo told me to write you a letter an' both me an' you know I'm no good at words. I'd get around you an' I'm pretty sure what was left of my braincells would jump ship 'cause they wouldn't wanna watch what happens." He laughs at his own joke, just this tired chuckle even if he knows it's not all that funny.

"I uh... I just wanted you to know, I wasn't afraid of ya. That's a big matter with me. Right from the start, I felt good around ya. I know a lot of other people got that with ya too. I guess you could even call that 'gravity'. But it was more than that. Had this kind voice, an' these eyes that always looked clear an' keep. They creased up nice when you smiled."

Okay, he's gonna stop saying the nice things in front of Dev. Or at least keep them to something less embarrassing.

"I was too chicken shit to say that to your face but you take it an' keep it now. Do me a favor an' keep bein' the man you are. That's all you gotta do to mean somethin'."

He rubs his hands over his face. Alright, he's getting there. "This one is for Raven. Sorry I couldn't stick around to be more of what you needed. You made me proud, though. You're so much like Peter an' nothin' like 'im at all. He had them Ravagers ready to just eat 'im up- figuratively, not literally. He was sure it was literally though. But you had your peaceful temple, all detached an' shit." It's a difference in a way of life he could barely imagine.

"You both had your fathers what gave you your physical strength, but somethin' differ'nt givin' y'all a softer side. I was lucky to see both. Hell, I was lucky to meet both. But I didn't get to meet as much as I woulda liked to in you." He's cluttering up his words to nonsense, he knows. So he has to sort that all out for a moment before he continues.

"I know you'll watch out for people. I know you'll take care of people. It's what you do best. That's the real you, not what your father intended for ya. You ain't nothin' like that. You will do the right thing. I ain't got no doubt in my mind. An' people respect you for the real you. I just wish I coulda been your daddy a little longer."

And then he just gestures. "Alright, I think I'm outa steam."

As Yondu starts to let it out, Devero sits patient as a stone against a lapping tide. He does the other man the courtesy of pretending he's someone else while Yondu talks to Koumyou, but for the others he's more responsive. He murmurs an affirmative to the request not to show Soldat their video if they don't seem like they can take; he promises he won't make fun of Yondu for what he says to Siebren. And when the other man is done, he makes a gesture of his own, stopping the recording and archiving the footage to his Interface.

"I've got them," he says. He leans towards Yondu, offering his hands. Whether the Centaurian takes them or not, he says, "Thank you for letting me help you with this."

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CW self-destructive behaviors/thoughts

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Longest tag in the world.

and loaded with feels