middleofsomewhere | Memory Cave

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Memory Cave

After the passengers see a glimpse of a life that is not their own they appear in a cave. It is light, a strange moss glowing on the walls and ceiling illuminates the cave nicely and it is large enough for them to pace around in without trouble.

They are not alone. In the cave with them is another voidtrecker. Maybe someone they know well, maybe someone they have only seen in the aisles of the train. But they are together in this cave together.

The cave has no exit, at least not yet. They know that it will, eventually. When the time is right.

But for that time to come, they first must talk...

(OOC: For reference: memories!)

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She'd been exploring the ruins, just coming out of a small structure and looking toward the next thing she wanted to check out, when Itsuki found herself sinking into another... whatever these were. But it was something else this time. A meal at a dining room table in... what was probably a home? Definitely home. Her home. Floor to ceiling windows, her baby brother in a high chair, her papa setting out dinner, her mama talking about work and calling her by her name a moment later as she demonstrates significant respect and good manners. They say their thanks, Itsuki not even thinking about that, the one thing that doesn't need consideration, it'd be automatic from her too.

Everyone is happy. Everyone is enjoying themselves. Everyone is smiling-

-the memory ends, and Itsuki can't feel the heat of the kitchen or the sea breeze on her skin anymore, but she's got control of herself again, eyes screwed shut as her heart breaks over something she doesn't even know the origin of. Or, well she does, now, but it's... not that. No, she knows exactly why she's hurting, and as she stands in a random cave in the middle of nowhere, in a purple hoodie and apparently no other street clothes except her socks and shoes, hair slightly damp, she lets out a single, soft sob with her hands clasped tight to her chest.

It's fine, there wasn't anyone before to hear her, so there shouldn't be anyone now. She'll just be depressed about it for a few minutes (like yesterday!), do her best to shake it off, and try to smile through the rest of her day. It's... it's a vacation. No tears here.

The second time is slightly less weird than the first.

Sure, it's still strange to suddenly find herself somewhere else. In another place, with people she recognizes, but who somehow feel much more familiar to her in that dream than they ever have on the train. And the odd thing was-- With the first memory she got, Madoka already had a vague idea that it could be coming out of someone else's brain. She didn't know if it was a memory or a thought, but.. with those girls together and someone clearly missing, it hadn't been too difficult to piece together through whose eyes she had been looking.

Even in this second memory it had been the same - Madoka somehow knew it wasn't her. If it had been her up on that stage, she would have been so much more nervous, she surely would have messed something up..

But all thoughts of what she saw are gone the moment she finds herself in the cave. Not because she's scared and can't find a way out as she looks around, but because of what she's hearing.

Crying.

Madoka looks up, and that's when she spots the person who let out that tiny sob. Her heart threatens to break in two at the sight of Itsuki like this, and Madoka quickly stands up, bridging the gap between them until she's right in front of the other person present.

It's a little more forward than she usually is, but she can't help it-- she finds herself reaching for those hands clasped so tightly to Itsuki's chest, trying to carefully take them into her own hands to try and get the other's attention.

".. Itsuki-san."

The soft footfalls echoing(?) are what get her attention first - she's not alone after all. Distantly, she thinks to wipe her eyes, to pretend nothing's wrong, but by the time she starts to move, there are hands on hers, and her eyes snap open, just in time to hear someone perhaps unsurprising speak her name gently. "Madoka-san..." Ugh, of all people to get caught by! Itsuki probably looks as pathetic as she sounds... "Sorry. Something strange just-"

The reality of the situation slams into her very suddenly, her eyes widening. She's in a cave, with no obvious exits, and containing only herself and Madoka. And she just saw what has to be one of the other girl's memories... Something snaps into place in her mind. Maybe Haibara had been right to worry after all. Does that mean it's happening the other way, too? Can she prompt an answer to that?

Of course she can. She just doesn't know if she should. After all, if Madoka saw something, that puts more than just one or both of them at risk - it compromises the team. She'll make that decision in a second, once her head is a little clearer. Right now, as close as she is, Madoka can probably hear her heart hammering way too close to her, admittedly reassuring, hands. "Something strange just popped into my head," she finishes from before, a little lamely, "and I got a little emotional." It might be a touch less suspicious if she could bring herself to make eye contact, though.

"That's okay."

Well, it's not okay that whatever Itsuki must have thought of upset her, but it's okay to be emotional if she's upset to begin with. Madoka sure is not going to condemn anyone else over their tears when she knows she's a huge crybaby when it comes down to it.

"If you need to cry, or be upset.. That's okay. It's better to let it out rather than keep it all to yourself.." She lightly squeezes the other's hands, hoping that it's even remotely reassuring.

"I mean.. um, it doesn't seem like we're going anywhere anytime soon.. So I'll be here with you. And if you want to talk, I will listen."

It's almost strange. Sure, Madoka is young, and it's definitely noticable.. But in the way she gently smiles, and the way she stays so relatively calm under their odd, odd circumstances, it's almost as if she's also a litle mature beyond her years.

Madoka is a saint, really. No concern for herself, not panicking about the room, not freaking out about having someone else's memories in her head. She's always thought Madoka had her head on straight, though, so that's perhaps not a surprise. Itsuki is doing her best to get some control over her emotions, in the meantime. It's... going better than she expected? A large part of her wants to be selfish and just bask in that reassurance that things will be okay, but... that wouldn't be fair to her. This place isn't exactly on the scenic route for their vacation. So instead she just sniffles slightly, giving the other girl a tiny smile. "Thank you. That means a lot. I... My friends are great, but sometimes I don't want to burden them with things. They have their own problems," she adds quietly. "They don't need to deal with mine too, especially not this one."

She hesitates, before she continues in a very soft voice, "Have you... been seeing strange things lately? Visions that come on suddenly? Memories that you're sure aren't- can't be yours?" She's certain Madoka is going to look at her like she's crazy, but she has to know.

Something softens even more in Madoka's eyes when Itsuki speaks on. It's just.. she recognizes that sentiment. And not even just a little bit - no, she recognizes it so much. Feeling bad, but not wanting to burden your friends with that, since they have enough to deal with.

Who knew that Itsuki was carrying all that with her as well? It only makes Madoka want to help the other even more. If Itsuki can't talk to her friends, then maybe Madoka can convince her to talk now - since Madoka has already seen things anyway.

So she decides to be honest here. Madoka nods at the question. There's no hint of surprise or confusion in her gaze at all.

"I have. Just now, and.. also yesterday, before we got off the train." She frets just the tiniest bit with guilt, her hands pulling at the bottom of her shirt, but she continues. "Actually.. I had an idea that they might be your memories, Itsuki-san. Since I saw some of the other girls in it.." The ones that are here on the train as well. Like Tsubomi.

Itsuki's eyes blow wide open knowing that Madoka's seen her memories, because some of those are not hers to share and that's bad. Especially since the others are here... oh, this is Bad. Well. Maybe. Depends on what she's seen. She rocks back on her heels for a second, her hands dropping limp to her sides, willing herself to calm down and finding that well of inner strength running mighty low at the moment, but she does her best anyway. Which isn't much, but it calms her down enough to not start hyperventilating, so that's something. Besides, Madoka's answering her questions without hesitation, so... maybe she should meet her in the middle.

"I-I see," she spits out after a second. "I saw something yesterday too, but- I didn't know what I was seeing. An empty city, something floating over it... I was so afraid, though, and it stayed with me for a little bit. Just now, though-" She cuts off, biting her lip, her hands balling into tight fists now. She doesn't even know how to begin to explain, but maybe she'll just have to try her best. "-I saw your family. Nothing strange, just... sitting down to dinner. Your little brother's really cute."

Madoka does her best to take in the information calmly. At least she's not really worried about anyone having seen that. Sure, she's kept the state of her world secret, but it wasn't since people finding out was a bad thing by itself - she just didn't want anyone to have to feel bad for her.

So as long as she can prevent that here, she'll already be glad. That's the objective now: make sure Itsuki is comfortable and make sure Madoka seems like she's Fine with everything back home. Phew.

Thankfully the latter part of what Itsuki says makes it easier. Madoka giggles slightly.

"He is, isn't he? He's still so young and doesn't really understand most things, but he's so cute.. I'm glad you got to see everyone." She nods as she says it. "Though I'm a little more sorry about that first memory, Itsuki-san.. It can't have been very fun to see."

Especially if she experienced it the same way Madoka did - as if she herself was in that memory. As if she had been Itsuki.

She can't quite help shivering at the reminder, but she does her best to put on a brave face. "No. No, it wasn't. It was a little... nostalgic isn't quite the right word, I guess. I don't really want to think about my home being turned into a desert again. But, hey." She smiles, but it's a lot more fragile. "I guess the end of the world gets easier after the first time, like anything else, huh?" Not that she's happy about that, but then again, the train might help with that, too. Their whole thing is to show up to help worlds in danger of destruction and wow that makes them sound like a bad omen when she thinks about it like that. Itsuki forces herself off the topic, switching gears to something that-

"I'm glad you're close to your family. I'm sure you miss them a lot while you're here, but... I'm glad you have them. I hope you can return to them when all this is over."

-is kind of complicated, oops. She's not crying anymore, but she's clearly not back to normal yet. She hates feeling this off, but she's just had too many shocks to her system to keep pushing them aside forever. Speaking of shocks to her system, Madoka is surprisingly calm for having likely seen some strange things. "Hey, so, um. Can I ask you what you saw...?"

There are so many awkward things quickly passing by here. First of all there's the reveal that Itsuki seems to come - or has been through? - a situation similar to Madoka's own. A city destroyed, the world on the brink of destruction. Then there's the fact that Itsuki says she hopes Madoka can return to her family, which is so ironic that it'd be laughable if it wasn't so sad. Madoka knows there's most likely no way she'll ever return to being a normal girl the moment she goes home.

She doesn't really want to mention the second part, but the first part is something she kind of does want to ask about, though she's not sure if it might not just make Itsuki feel worse..

.. but then there's that last question, and doing anything other than that would feel very rude. Itsuki deserves to know what Madoka saw.

"Both times I saw you with your friends.." Or, well, she saw through Itsuki's eyes more than anything, but still. "Um.. what I saw just now, before we ended up here, was something like.. I think it was either a concert or a fashion show.. or both? You were participating with your friends.."

Should she mention she kind of felt Itsuki's feelings too? She's worried it might upset the other all over again.

"And back on the train I saw you drawing clothes with the others. From what I remember.. Um, you were looking at a top..?"

Sorry Madoka, one speed only, even if she's calming down a little more. Although when she hears what her friend saw, she feels like she wants to slam her forehead into the cave wall. "Nothing too unpleasant, then. I'm kind of glad you saw those things, actually - they're happy moments I can be proud of." She pauses, pursing her lips. "Well, the fashion show, at least. Fashion Club meetings are what they are, most of the time, even if they're fun downtime. Maybe I'll have to see about getting that outfit from the train, though. It'd be nice to have some casual clothes instead of just..." She gestures down at her hoodie with a small grimace, murmuring, "It'd be one thing if purple were my color, but-"

Shaking her head, she sighs. "Maybe I'm just being dramatic. Or a worrywart. Or paranoid. Or some combination of those. I'm sorry - here I'm making you worried over me and it's..." Her mouth opens, but nothing comes out, and she closes it thoughtfully a moment later. It's not nothing, which she'd been about to say out of reflex. It'd be insulting to say it is nothing, to both of them.

Madoka now shakes her head too.

"No, Itsuki-san. Don't apologize." Even though Madoka gets it. It's the exact same routine she falls into so often - feeling bad, or guilty, or like she's exaggerating things, and wanting to apologize for it. But that's exactly why she wants to be here for the other right now, despite the odd circumstances-- Or maybe exactly because of them.

"It's all really strange, so it's only natural to feel odd about it, or even overwhelmed.." Her smile turns a bit awkward. "Um, I'm not sure, maybe I seem pretty calm right now.. But I actually still feel really guilty you had to see that first memory. And it's a little strange, since I haven't talked to anyone on the train about it.."

She releases a slow breath.

"But I trust you, Itsuki-san. And if we somehow end up seeing more of each other's memories, then.. um, we'll just deal with it again, right..? I promise I won't tell just anyone about it. Not about anything I've seen so far," though it.. doesn't seem like there's anything too secretive in it.. "or anything I might still see."

...she's getting a lot of trust on this and she's not sure she's earned that, but then, Madoka's been pretty adamant that it's fine. It's fine- well, it isn't, and she has a lot of questions. Itsuki's quiet a moment, before she runs her hands through her hair and puffs out a breath again. "Overwhelmed is... probably the right word for it. But if there's anyone that should feel guilty, it isn't you, Madoka-san. I mean... you didn't cause this, right? You have nothing to be guilty for. Neither of us do." Let's pretend either of them believes that whatsoever.

"But... mm," she starts again after a moment. "It doesn't sound like you've seen anything I would be worried about you sharing. And if it were just me, I don't mind regardless! But Tsubomi-san and Yuri-san have secrets that aren't mine to reveal, so those are what I'm concerned about, since they're here with me." She feels that's probably pretty reasonable, though, so she doesn't push any harder on the issue. "And as for yours... I'm very worried about that first thing I saw. But you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, okay? If you do want to, I'm all ears. But don't feel like you have to push yourself for my sake." She smiles again; it's a little strained, but she's trying. "And yeah. If there's more, we'll talk again. Even if there isn't more, we'll talk again."

Let's pretend that indeed, since there's no way Madoka isn't going to feel guilty to some degree over this.. Even if it's true that she didn't cause this, it still feels like she's the one who violated Itsuki's privacy - her memories.

She does file the part about Tsubomi and Yuri away in the back of her mind though. Just as a reminder of the fact that she has to be careful with what she mentions, despite seeing nothing too terribly secretive-looking..

.. but then there's the Main Issue here, huh.

"I.. I'll tell you next time, Itsuki-san. If you see more." Because Madoka is pretty sure that if Itsuki is exposed to more of her memories, surely they aren't going to be more cute family scenes.. And maybe the first memory will start to make a bit more sense with some more context. But telling Itsuki about everything right now feels like it will only upset the girl even more, and that's the last thing Madoka wants to do here.

"And even if you don't.. I promise I'll tell you at some point. I mean it."

Suddenly it's like something shifts in the cave. It's subtle - there's nothing bombastic about its appearance, at the very least - but there's suddenly a door present that wasn't there before.

It probably will upset her, admittedly; she had enough problems with her own system, and that was with no severe risk to themselves in the process, leaving aside Yuri's, um, everything. Whatever... that... was, is probably going to have an unpleasant explanation attached, she's certain. But she'll wait for Madoka to be ready to say something.

"Okay. I'll... try not to think about it until then." Try being the operative word, because that's going to haunt her for a while. Would anything short of the Infinity Silhouette even put a dent in it? Would that work?

But she's distracted from battle planning by a small sound, and when she whirls, there are... doors? After she waits for her heart to stop hammering so much, she laughs softly, unsteadily. "What, was it waiting for us to come to an agreement?" Itsuki shakes herself, hugging her arms to herself for a moment, before she relaxes a little, turning quieter. "Um, I know this is going to sound a little strange, but- thank you for putting up with me. I know I'm being a little... much, right now."

Ah.. yes. Try not to think about it. Madoka can feel the importance of that single word being added to that sentence too, and it makes her awkwardly stare at her feet for a moment. Even though she didn't mean to, she burdened Itsuki with that memory.. There's no way she can just enjoy her island vacation here without letting that bother her for the rest of the day for sure.

It's only that last part that makes the girl's head snap back up to look at the other.

"Ah.. N-No, Itsuki-san. Even if you think you're a little much, you're not too much for me at all.." (Don't worry, Madoka has totally dealt with worse when one of her friends was falling into despair and becoming a monster--) "I just feel bad that I can't do more to reassure you right now."

She glances over at the doors.

"M-- Maybe we'll feel better once we're back outside again? It is kind of dark here.."

Sheesh, now she feels bad. Here Madoka's doing her best and Itsuki's just... well, doing her best, but. "Hey," she says, voice stronger than it's been since they've been in here. "You've done a lot already, and I feel a lot better than I did when we started. So please, don't blame yourself, okay? I'll be okay." She reaches a hand forward... and falters. She's being enough of a burden right now, probably better not push her luck.

"The sunlight on my skin will help a lot, yeah," she goes on, covering over her own uncertainty. "And exploring the island too, I think. So... vacation as usual, I guess?"

As if there's anything usual about any of this anymore, but she can dream.

".. Yes."

There will be nothing as usual about this. Madoka knows it.

But right now it's easier like this. Maybe she can find a better time to talk about all of this with Itsuki - sometime when Itsuki isn't on edge, when Madoka isn't way too busy blaming herself for everything.

"I.. I'll see you, Itsuki-san." Madoka walks over to the exit, hesitating only a moment to look back at the other girl with a small, nervous smile. "Please take care."

And with that, she's gone.

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Memory Cave

memory 2;

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