middleofsomewhere | Memory Cave

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Memory Cave

After the passengers see a glimpse of a life that is not their own they appear in a cave. It is light, a strange moss glowing on the walls and ceiling illuminates the cave nicely and it is large enough for them to pace around in without trouble.

They are not alone. In the cave with them is another voidtrecker. Maybe someone they know well, maybe someone they have only seen in the aisles of the train. But they are together in this cave together.

The cave has no exit, at least not yet. They know that it will, eventually. When the time is right.

But for that time to come, they first must talk...

(OOC: For reference: memories!)

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"Oh." He nodded, "So you thought... You hadn't succeeded in being forgotten."

Clearly she hadn't died. Or maybe... Who knew. The worlds were strange places after all. But she had thought she had failed. "That must have been hard for you, to adjust I mean."

She shrugged a bit. "I kept trying." she said it as though she was trying to assure him she didn't slack off. Or... trying to convince herself of the same.

The words made him sad, made sadness stab through him. She had kept trying... to be forgotten. To avoid those who might know her.

"But it was alright... Lea remembered you and it was alright."

She kept trying to kill herself before anyone new could know and remember her, yes.

She nodded. "Once Axel remembered me, and told me I had succeeded, I stopped trying," she agreed. "Roxas said the same thing." As did Saïx, but the less she mentioned him, the better for everyone. She looked out at the distance though, as if seeing past the cave, remembering what Saïx had wanted them all to do in Daitu. To go back to the wheres and whens they belonged.

"That is still in my future though. At some point..." her voice broke, her hands curled into fists. "At some point we have to go back. And I know that it will be okay in the end, but until then I have to go back to my time, when I am gone and no one remembers me. And when I come back, I do not know if I'll be able to remember any of this."

She turned away and walked to the wall, resting a hand on it. "Everyone keeps telling me I am a person now, but if the memories that make up this new person are taken away... Isn't that still like ceasing to exist?" she asked softly.

And if that is the case...

"If I am just going to have to die again," she said softly, "And I won't remember any of this, and no one I meet now will remember me either..." then it was better for everyone if she didn't have any more friends. But Axel never seemed to understand that. For as smart as he was, he could be a bit blind when it came to her and Roxas. He saw what he wanted to see, he saw only the parts that let him keep his friends with him. She knew that, she understood it now. Perhaps she had for a while. It was something she didn't think Roxas had ever understood, however... One of the few things different between them, even back then.

If memories are what makes a person, does forgetting mean you cease to exist?

It's a painful question. Painful on it's own, more painful with her context. She had been forgotten and even though she was remembered again... She had to go back? She had to go back and be forgotten again and she might not remember... any of this.

"When... I forgot once." He looked at her with sad eyes. I forgot fourteen months of my life but they were... they were the most important. I forgot who I was. I forgot what I was. I forgot my king..." He shook his head.

"I don't think it's possible to fully forget. Lea said. In the memory I just saw... Lea said... He could tell something was missing... It is like that. People don't just... When they remember. I think they will remember these places too."

"Doesn't that just hurt more then? To remember only that something is missing, but not know what?"

"It hurt more than any other pain I have ever known." The answer is quiet, brutally honest. "It was like their was a hole inside me, the knowledge that I'd forgotten something and what I had forgotten... It was the most important thing. Something that should never have been forgotten."

It's only been just over a year since he remembered, since that night on the beach when Renrin had, in her desperation, changed forms to show him, when all his memories flooded back.

"I... I understand it is necessary, this forgetting." He wished it wasn't, that there was a way to change her future, so such a thing wasn't necessary. "But the joy they will feel when they know you again..." It wasn't even something he could describe in words.

"....Joy.....?" she glanced back at him, confused.

"Yes." He nodded at her again, "Lea was very happy, to remember you again."

Relief, joy. She had felt them too, even if she didn't recognise them as such.

"But he had to be upset first."

He reached out his other hand, so both hands were cupping hers. "That... I wish that could be different. But I don't know about your world. It sounded like... it was something that had to happen."

For all that that was a terrible thing. People shouldn't be hurt, necessity or not.

"And it will have to happen again," she pointed out to him. "And he only remembered me when he saw me again." If she made any fiends here, they would never remember her, would they? She considered a moment. "Maybe Naminé would know."

But does it? He only half understands her story, pieced together from what she told him when they met and what he had overheard in these memories. But does it have to be that way? She has been out of her world? How would she even get back and need to do it? Surely she had disappeared, the world would have... changed. The world she went back to... It would not be the same world that she left. Time did not stand still.

If only it did. The pain of Tai would not be so great if somehow there had been a way for everything to... wait.

"You are from the same world as Naminé?" He didn't know her well, but her stories had been sad as well.

"I'm not sure," she said after a moment. "But I knew her from before here. Before Daitu. She is the one who unmade me so that Sora could wake." There was no anger in those words or judgment. Naminé had played her role, just as Xion had.

"I see." He nodded, no judgement in his eyes. "I hope you get answers." It was always difficult, to not know why things happened, even as they happened to you.

Naminé was gone now, but hopefully there would be other ways to get answers. Taiki made a silent promise to try and help, as much as he could.

He looked to the side, and his eyes widened at seeing a door. There was a second, on the other side of the cave.

"Oh. I think we can leave."

She looked over. That... hadn't been there before, had it?

Was Nameiné the reason it appeared? Did that mean she had come from Xion and it was time to return? She stared at the door, afraid of it, afraid of what would happen if she left.

He looked at her before squeezing her hand one last time. "I think we need to leave this cave..."

To go where, he's not sure. But he's pretty sure the answer will be back on the island. He has pretty good senses for danger, the senses of a prey animal and yet he feels nothing but calm here.

"I'll see you later... I was painting near the fortress... So I will need to go back there to get my paints, if you want to find me again."

"Of I am even able to," she said softly, looking at the door. She was growing more and more certain that stepping outside of it would send her back. Back to her own time. Back to being forgotten. Back to Sora.

"Xion..."

He looked at her, tried to meet her eyes.

"It's going to be alright. Okay?"

Because he could sense she is nervous. There is nothing he can really say to stop that, no words... Because what he feels is just... that. A feeling it will be alright.

"If I vanish when we walk through... Please watch out for Axel?" she asked softly.

"Xion..."

He doesn't know what to say. He can't promise she won't. Because he doesn't know for sure. He can't ask her to trust him because... why would she? She doesn't know him.

She might not even know what he means if he tries to explain. She hasn't understood much of what he's said so far. So he just nods. "I will."

Because as unlikely as it was, if it did happen then of course he would look out for Axel. Lea. As best as he could.

He takes a step away, but slowly, waiting to check she was alright and moving. He doesn't want to leave her in here.

She nodded, took a deep breath, then made herself walk towards the door...

He did the same, moving towards the exit and then glancing back at her with what he hoped was a reassuring smile, before stepping through, out of the cave.

She followed stunned at where and how she came to...

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Memory Cave

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CW: suicide mentions.

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Thank you for the thread! :D