Memory Cave

[voidtreckermods]

After the passengers see a glimpse of a life that is not their own they appear in a cave. It is light, a strange moss glowing on the walls and ceiling illuminates the cave nicely and it is large enough for them to pace around in without trouble.

They are not alone. In the cave with them is another voidtrecker. Maybe someone they know well, maybe someone they have only seen in the aisles of the train. But they are together in this cave together.

The cave has no exit, at least not yet. They know that it will, eventually. When the time is right.

But for that time to come, they first must talk...

(OOC: For reference: memories!)

Comments

[wherewoof]

"Shit. That sounds terrible. I'm sorry." Again, even though he doubted apologies would do anything. He hadn't been involved, he didn't even know how long ago this had happened, but he could tell it hadn't been easy. He didn't like to see people suffering, and it was rude as hell for whatever this was to bring up awful memories like this.

"People are assholes sometimes." Especially when it came to nature.

But then he hesitated, looking away. There was no point in lying; she'd already seen, and she seemed so nice. He didn't want to lie to her. "I was attacked. By a werewolf. I thought I was going to die, but I didn't. I just...healed up."

[springforth]

With a bit of a helpless shrug, she immediately latches onto his explanation. Anything to push past the memory and having to talk about it. Kind of rude, since his seems not great as well.

"Like the one before," She fills in, the memory of that being leaping at him. And then, unbidden, a vivid picture of the wounds that must have been responsible for all that blood.

"And you didn't know how it happened, it just did. I can't imagine how it must have felt, to think that you're dying and then it's almost like it never happened."

[wherewoof]

He wouldn't press the subject of her memory if she didn't want to talk about it; being reminded of difficult things wasn't easy.

"Yeah. I didn't know what it was, I was just..." he shrugged. Terrified. He'd been terrified. "And then I became a werewolf. I used to think I was a monster, too."

Just like the one that had attacked him and left him for dead. He wondered how many other people that werewolf had hurt, if they'd been unable to control themselves just like he hadn't been able to on his first full moon.

"But that was four years ago, and I've done everything I can to make sure I'm not a monster." To make up for the terrible things he'd done.

[springforth]

That hits home harder than she likes to think about. Her hand curl and release in a restless spasm, to say something. She asks a question, not instead of, but in addition to that burning desire to speak up.

"Are--is it hard to control yourself then? Or is it just the form that makes you feel monstrous?"

[wherewoof]

"Both," he said quietly. "It used to be hard to control the wolf. Sometimes I still worry about hurting people, even though I'm more me than I used to be when I change. And besides that, it's not like I've ever had a good experience with other werewolves."

He'd been left for dead by one and forced to kill another. Maybe he would've felt differently about things a lot sooner if he'd had any positive interactions with a werewolf. Maybe some kind of mentor like in movies and television shows, someone to teach him everything about being a werewolf. He used to dream about it, a long time ago.

[springforth]

"I guess you never found the one who did it to you. I'm sorry that happened to you. That someone took all your choices away and left you feeling like--that. You don't seem like a monster to me."

She doesn't say the she understands feeling out of control, of struggling and hurting others and having to hold that back more than you like. She doesn't say that it's not the same but it feels a little like it. But some of it probably shows in her face.

[wherewoof]

He shook his head. He didn't even know what he'd do if he found the werewolf who turned him. A lot of it would depend on what kind of person they were, he guessed. If it'd been an accident or if they'd known exactly what they were doing. One of those was forgivable, the other wasn't.

"It's..." he sucked in a deep breath, held it for a moment, and exhaled. "Thank you." It meant a lot to him, even if she didn't know half of what he'd done. Maybe the important part was trying to be a good person, like Taos told him, and he didn't have to feel as guilty as he did.

"What about you? I mean, are you okay?" He felt like he should've asked sooner, but everything also felt like a mess, and he was trying to handle one thing at a time.

[springforth]

Persephone really wants to wave it away, to say of course, but he did tell her some pretty vulnerable things. With some supernatural poking and prodding, sure, but still. She shrugs.

"I'm--I don't know that I'll every be really alright. But--I mean--" She huffs out a breath, swinging her arms out beside her and blinking her eyes rapidly, to ward off tears.

"It messed with me, sure. But what I did in response, how I acted, messed me up a lot more." She hesitates, teasing out enough information to give him an idea, to not have to say the words. She should probably say them to someone, sometime, but not right here, right now, "I don't like this part of me very much, the person I became that day."

[wherewoof]

He nodded a little. He could guess that she'd hurt someone, maybe. That was usually what happened when someone said things like that. Or maybe he was assuming because he'd also hurt people and regretted it.

"That kind of thing's hard. I don't know if it ever gets easier, either." Living with that kind of feeling, disliking or hating something about yourself, something you'd done.

He hesitated a moment, shrugging awkwardly. "If you ever need anyone to talk to about things, I'm a pretty good listener." Better at listening than he was talking about some things, at least.

[springforth]

"I don't think it does. It hasn't been too long but I still--I worry about it. If I get angry enough, will I do it again? That sort of thing." She's still being vague and perhaps that's to protect herself or him or some nebulous idea of her reputation on the train, how people see her. Selfishly, she doesn't want people to know all those dark bits, the hard parts, though vaguely she knows some people wouldn't even care.

"It's--my people run into that, we all can do awful things if pushed too far. I guess I just thought I wasn't that sort of person and it turned out I was."

[wherewoof]

"That's understandable. Worrying about it, I mean. All you can really do is try your best to be the person you want to be." And not do anything you'd regret. Sometimes it was easier said than done, but the keyword was try.

"Some things are out of our control, but others aren't." What he meant was, focus on the things you could control and try not to worry so much about the things you couldn't.

[springforth]

"Yeah--yeah I know." Persephone doesn't quite take it as he means, not entirely. Sure, she knows she couldn't control what happened to her friends, but she also isn't sure she could control that swelling of rage if something happened to someone she cared about here. She breathes out hard, blinking a few more times to keep the tears back.

"Um--thanks. For listening, even if honestly, neither of us would want to do this again." She smiles, crooked and unsure and plastered on as it is.

[wherewoof]

"Listening's the least I can do," he said. "And thank you, too. I'm sorry you had to relive this kind of thing."

It hadn't been great for him either, but he'd at least managed to make peace with what had happened to him. And he hadn't lost anyone. It didn't make him feel lucky, just...sad in a different way. He knew there was a limit sometimes when it came to helping people, and that there were some things you just couldn't do. He could punch kidnappers or abusers, but he couldn't do anything about emotional pain, not really.

"Hopefully this is the last time," he added. "That we'll end up here." He'd just been -- kind of -- looking forward to a vacation. Or at least relaxing.

[springforth]

This--this feels like the end of something. Maybe just logically, he's done and so is she, they've said their piece. So her head comes up, looking around for the doors, the exits. When she finds one, she grabs the knob, looking back at him.

"Do something nice, alright? We shouldn't have to go through all this not to do something nice for ourselves."

[wherewoof]

He nodded, smiling a little before turning almost reluctantly to the other door.

"I will. And you, too. You deserve something nice." Especially after going through all of this, but also because she seemed genuinely nice and kind.

[springforth]

Persephone glances at the door, taking a deep loud breath, straightening her shoulders.

"I'll do something kind for myself. But first I should do something honest." Her hand tightens on the knob, a firm smile on her lips, "I'll bother you again when its on our own terms, okay?"

And then she's through the door.