Memory Cave

[voidtreckermods]

After the passengers see a glimpse of a life that is not their own they appear in a cave. It is light, a strange moss glowing on the walls and ceiling illuminates the cave nicely and it is large enough for them to pace around in without trouble.

They are not alone. In the cave with them is another voidtrecker. Maybe someone they know well, maybe someone they have only seen in the aisles of the train. But they are together in this cave together.

The cave has no exit, at least not yet. They know that it will, eventually. When the time is right.

But for that time to come, they first must talk...

(OOC: For reference: memories!)

Comments

[bloomingdespite]

"I'm a vengeance spirit, A-Qing.

"That's exactly how it felt like when I learned who killed you."

[spikelet]

A shudder, like she wants to pull away but can't bring herself to do it.

"I hate it. Why does revenge have to feel so bad? It's justice, why..."

[bloomingdespite]

"Because it's...

"Because it's hate. Hate can enact justice, but hate is still hate, and it-

"I-" They take a deep breath, curling up and hugging their knees.

"I nearly killed one of my friends because of one stupid mistake he made. All because I couldn't stop this- huge, unending, monstrous hate inside me, and I still can't get rid of it."

[spikelet]

"Can't you..."

She tries to think of something clever to say, but nothing rises from her throat; there's an echoing of both of their screams ringing in her head when she tries. "It..."

"It isn't all bad! You... I couldn't have done anything, but you're so powerful... I prayed for him to receive punishment, to have his soul torn to pieces so he could never reincarnate again, and isn't that what you did? He's different now, everyone's seen it. I-I think he deserved it!"

She's swung back and forth about the matter, actually. The concept of what Wester did to Xue Yang is frightening on an instinctual, gut level that recognises that the only thing that prevented her from doing harm was her lack of strength, her young age, her destitution. Certainly not her personality. She knows Xiao Xingchen would have hated it, but she isn't him.

"I hate him," she adds, quietly. "There's a lot of hate in me, too. You're just able to do something about it."

[bloomingdespite]

"I... don't think hate should be celebrated." Flashes of lives not lived three times removed from their own (the darkness the fire the blood the fear the dagger the burning gold) and Wester squeezes their eyes shut.

The visions don't go away, but they can pretend they do.

"But hate can be justified, sometimes.

"And..."

-Everyone they hurt so many people so many children so many-

But.

"Some people deserve to be hated. And sometimes you can't just pretend the hate isn't there and that you don't wish they were dead with every ounce of your being.

"Xue Yang is one of those people. For... both of us, I think. Especially after I saw... everything he did." Wester shivers. "I'm glad I could do something to avenge all those people.

"...and you, A-Qing."

[spikelet]

"I'm glad too! If it... if it helps," she tries, uncertain. "It helped me, when-- teacher Lan, Lan Wangji, he's from the future. And he said that he killed that rotten guy, and rescued daozhang's spirit. That I helped... even though I was dead, I found them, and led them to him..."

But Wester did avenge her, too, just as much as Lan Wangji did. Tears are beginning to spill down her cheeks again, and she just leans against them. "Don't tell anyone. But... He tricked daozhang into killing his best friend, okay? Like that mistake you said. And I just... I just watched, because I couldn't do anything. It's my karma for pretending, isn't it? Watching."

[bloomingdespite]

It is at that moment that it becomes highly apparent to Wester that A-Qing is just fifteen years old.

Rage at a world that would do all this to a child is the first thing that flares within them, white hot and burning. But it's quickly overtaken (not quelled, not at all) by a tide of grief, and the overwhelming love that lies deep within Wester.

They don't hesitate to hug A-Qing back. "You survived, A-Qing.

"Even if it was only for a few days, those few days of life are more important than any revenge."

[spikelet]

"That's what daozhang said, too," She agreed, miserable. But she curled up further against Wester. "He told me I should leave him and live. But then that guy found me, and..."

Well, Wester has seen all of that. I'll strangle her and leave her corpse in the fields for wild dogs, he'd said. Was that what happened? She's glad she didn't have to experience that. But...

"I'm a spirit too," she decides, her voice muffled against Wester's shoulder. "If I went home, I'd only be dead, with no one to remember me. So we should stick together. Okay?"

[bloomingdespite]

Wester looks down at this trembling child in their arms—they're barely five years older than her, but still—and something in them clicks into place. They hold her close, stroking her hair to calm her down.

"It's okay. Whatever happened in our worlds, whatever we were, we're... we're both alive. Right here, right now. We're here together.

"And I won't leave your side."