middleofsomewhere | So Familiar a Gleam: Conclusion

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So Familiar a Gleam: Conclusion

Time to leave!

There is not much of the city left, but the park is holding together as those anchoring help those who are not voidtreckers through back to where they belong. Monsters continue to attack and a little further out there is a battle of hearts and minds being fought with the mass of colours and chaos.

Eventually, after the bulk of citizens had been evacuated everyone with SCA's on would hear Jin-Roh's voice after a few frantic beeps, as Chiff aligned everyone's SCA's. "We are almost done here, if you are with anyone not tethered to a voidcraft get them to the evacuation point, as quickly as possible."

Anan pulls out of the anchoring point to call out to any defenders in the park. "Come on! Anyone who isn't a voidtrecker! It's time to go."

Luckily those off fighting the entity headed the message and made their way to the park as Jin Roh spoke again.

"Everyone else get ready. When we call it you need to leave. If you don't have your SCA on then get to someone who does."

As the last people rushed to the park Anan calls out again, through her SCA and outloud to the park. "You need to unanchor, before you can evacuate. Everyone be ready."

She goes in again though, because there are some last people, those from the large battle, getting through as another message was called.

"Almost there. Be ready. On my command..."

Anan unanchored again. "Quick everyone unanchor."

"NOW" Jin Roh's voice came through strong on their SCA's. Hopefully those with SCA's would grab those without.

There is some outside help as well, the train pulls anyone who is unconscious or still under the entity's control, forcibly evacuating them. This includes Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and Zagreus.

Luggage Carriage

There has been a mass evacuation before and that was crazy enough but since then the population of the train has almost doubled and now it is an extremely tight squeeze as everyone crashes into the luggage carriage at the same time.

The train jerks and rolls as they enter into the void at breakneck speed and again as they seem to slow, rather than speeding off though the void.

There's a crackling from their SCA's. "Voidtreckers? Voidtreckers come in!" Anan's voice. "Please tell me you made it..."

There's only a few moments of signal and soon they are flying though the void again, away from the strange non-world, the entity sealed for now. To new adventures, but first hopefully some time to recover from all that has happened.

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If Ryo's reading signals, his wires must be jumbled, or Tidus is giving off the kind he doesn't mean to; not after he just offered the guy to stay there as long as he likes. His brows raise, arms pulling back with his hands resting on the guy's shoulders.

"Why? A hug's not gonna kill me." Is it because of the joke? A part of it had been a real offer, though he doesn't know Ryo too well, doesn't know what he could be thinking. That he doesn't sound uncomfortable to his ears, mouth pulling into a sheepish thing.

"You're okay. Uh... I was fine if you wanted a hug. Guess it's funny to be doing in a hall, but-" Oh no, his mouth is escaping him. "--we'll keep walking if you want to."

There. There! If Ryo wants to hug again, he can. Got this.

He'd had to be taught, a few years ago, that it was okay for him to ask for what he wanted. He'd taken it to heart, but he still backslides sometimes, when times are hard or when he's stressed. Endon and Orion know him well enough by now to pick up on when he's having trouble and step in to help, but. Well.

They're not here. The past few months have been very hard. And there's no one here who knows him well enough to know that he's slipping - that he's taking care of people at the expense of what he needs.

(It's hard, sometimes, to fall back on two years of being assertive, when fourteen years of hiding is far more engrained and not too far removed from the present.)

He'd misread the signals - somewhere between stress and sheer exhaustion he'd gotten it wrong, and Tidus is correcting him, giving him the choice, and...

"Oh." There are a few long, slow moments where he struggles with himself - he should drink his tea and go to bed and leave Tidus to the task of taking care of other people (the task that should be his, as a healer, but he can't right now, and it's driving him crazy), but- but that's not what he wants, and-

"Can I have another hug?" Tidus had said it had been okay (he thinks - he's been having a terrible time following the thread of the conversation), but he needs to make sure, and- and at least he's asking, right? He's asking for what he wants and that's a good thing, right?

(It's not you, Tidus; it's him, and his exhaustion, and his anxiety. Mostly his anxiety.)

Every one of them has habits. A story, what makes them them. Misunderstandings, experiences, the lessons that life has taught them; and life can lead to changes, has for Tidus - to even place the offer again on the table with some sincerity, to mean it for more than just his mouth escaping him.

But the signs that Ryo had misread - maybe they had been a little too early, and seen into the future. It's just for a second, but Tidus feels it then when Ryo accepts: a discomfort born from many reasons, but that question of - why? A reaction he still hasn't lost. That mindset of where - if you're not a younger kid, a girl or a fan, why would you want a hug from another guy?

(We all have our issues.)

It's a reaction that lasts no longer than a second, really. For no real amount to even show across his face, before Tidus opens his arms up with some exaggeration, a jovial smile to greet the other guy before he steps forward, figuring he should be the one to hug first this time. His arms wrap across Ryo's shoulders without fuss, his throat vibrating when he jokes fondly:

"You can't complain if my hugs aren't any good. When you're less tired, find Inigo or Della - 'specially Inigo. He'll take naps with you if you asked!"

Admittedly, he isn't sure his hugs are really all that. But if Ryo wants one, then he can have one. It's as simple as that.

Even if he were fully awake, Ryo would not have likely caught the reaction; instead, he sees the acceptance, the open arms, and he responds to the smile with one of his own, exhausted and a little sad and achingly genuine underneath it all, as Tidus wraps his arms around him. He clings to Tidus in turn, burying his face in the curve where Tidus's neck meets his shoulder (because Ryo is standing up straight this time and that's much better), holding him tight and simply breathing. Maybe a few of those breaths are shaky, but...it's fine. He doesn't just want this - he needs it, and finally having this connection with someone who cares is a relief he feels deep in his bones, finally melting away the edges of the stress and tension of the past few missions - the past few months, really.

For someone whose magic requires physical contact, Ryo isn't always the best at remembering how healing a good hug can be on its own for someone who really needs it. But now...he won't be forgetting this anytime soon.

(Though if Tidus wants him to ask Inigo or Della, he'll ask Inigo or Della. He'll remember that. He thinks.)

It's a few more long seconds of letting himself relax before he speaks up. "Your hugs are good." It's quiet and tired, half-murmured into Tidus's shoulder, but that doesn't make it any less the truth.

Edited 2021-07-29 21:38 (UTC)

With the way that Ryo sinks against him, Tidus imagines this is probably what a good bed feels like for him. Comfortable, safe; that feeling when you don't want to get out of it, and exactly why Tidus is happy to take the guy there (and, you know, for the whole 'being so tired I don't know how he left bed in the first place' issue). It must be what guys like Ryo and Inigo get out of it; that connection he can't quite make himself, since...

Well. He feels the words against his shoulder, and hums with some amusement. "I'm glad." I had a girlfriend for a while, he thinks to say, a kind of joke about wanting to have left her a good impression - but that's a dumb implication he doesn't want to make between hugging his girl and hugging Ryo, so he keeps it behind his mouth. Says instead: "You sound like you really needed one."

Which, it's odd that he can pick that up, but it's just so obvious. This guy needs a train hug buddy, stat.

"All these illusions and mind games and everything else've really sucked, huh."

Because the exhaustion can just be the anchoring. Or, it can be absolutely everything they've had to deal with since the end of Kamakan.

(Ryo may have fallen out of bed this morning. Upper bunks are rough when you're too tired to think straight, let alone get your feet under you consistently.)

"Yeah." Yeah, he really needed a hug. Yeah, the illusions have been awful. "I'm really tired of it." Everyone on the train probably is, sure; Ryo is tired in particular of illusions rubbing in just how much he misses his friends and family from back home.

He still hasn't let go. He really does need this hug.

"When you're feeling more alive, you should treat yourself," Tidus suggests. A suggestion he makes often, but absolutely will make it for a guy like Ryo. "When's the last time you did?"

And what was it, and does it count. Though even that won't mean much for Tidus, coming from a life of luxury and making it his mission to get everyone brought on the train to make the most of it.

Even if it means buying giant bags of sweets.

The suggestion and subsequent question catch him by surprise, and he takes a few seconds to really think about it. When was the last time he'd done something nice for himself? "Last month?" Wait, no- "The month before last." He'd bought poma bread from the shop to share.

(He'd tried to do something fun at the void nexus, taking the time to paint his hoodie in the glowing sap and delighting in the impromptu art project; it had come as a rather nasty shock to learn that the sap attracted giant fish, and he'd had to get rid of the hoodie so as not to get eaten. So much for that.)

Ah, behold: we have a put others before me-er type person here. Like Tidus hasn't met fifty hundred of those kind of people around that he can't sniff them out easy.

"Month before last," he repeats with some mirth, but mainly disbelief - but also, not really. "Okay - got some homework for you. Think of some stuff you've always wanted to do - foods to eat, clothes, whatever! - and treat yourself. I'll come bug ya before platform stop if I have to. And after platform stop? We're raiding the games rooms!"

Will Ryo remember this? Who knows, but Tidus will; and for what level of chiding there is to his instructions, it's all jovial, friendly first. Carrying on as he assures:

"We're going to get you a good time."

Guilty as charged. He's definitely not great at taking care of himself when there are others who need the care he can provide.

He listens, quiet, turning the homework over in his mind (after getting briefly hung up on the unfamiliar term). He can't think of anything, and he almost says so, but...he has time to think about this, right? He'll figure something out, once he's able to think outside of this brain fog again. "Okay," he says instead. "If you say so."

"I do." Thanks for noticing the words he said and that he's sticking to. "You get as much of this hug as you like, then you go to bed, and have good dreams thinking of stuff to do." And to get, but he already dumped all of that homework on Ryo's lap, and he doesn't want to push overloading the guy who's probably happier just leaning into him at the moment.

He pats at one of Ryo's shoulders like he did before, the gesture no more than something fond as he decides for himself: "I'm gonna eat......fish steak."

Behold, Tidus's great decision. The pause for thought and then declaration. Yes, fish. His brain isn't going any farther than that right now.

"Okay." He can follow instructions, at least. (That said, whether or not he remembers to retrieve his tea from Tidus's arms band at the end of all this remains to be seen.)

He blinks for a moment at that declaration. "Well, we do have a lot of fish." They'd gotten so much fish at the void nexus - there has to be some left, right?

"I love fish." Look, when you're standing around just hugging a guy and getting hugged, even your few brain cells start slipping. Which, when you only have one - it's been a week for him too. He can start daydreaming about fish. "Lived out over the sea, and all the different food there... still loved fish the best. Fish and rice, put in a bit of this and that- make a big bowl and then sit down and watch a show!"

Welcome to Tidus's life, pre-canon.

"You like fish? I'll make you some fish sometime. Some fish bites - you can eat them whenever."

That's okay, only one of Ryo's brain cells is functioning today - he's not about to criticize. He smiles into Tidus's shoulder a bit at the reminiscing. It all sounds so...nice. He's not about to turn down an offer of food, either. "That sounds good."

He takes another moment to turn the story over in his head. "You lived by the ocean? What's it like?"

"Like- watching the entire world live and sleep." ...that's not going to make any sense, but Tidus remembers without much prompt, his first memory always when he's unguarded: the view from his small boat of the city, the spots where he would park, a person on outside looking in. Waking and growing drowsy to that sight, a mood he wouldn't call peace or quiet, and yet-

"You smell the sea everyday," he goes on, "listen to the waves... the sun always wakes early with you, and you start to hear the city wake again, but it wasn't really the sleep waking, just some of the people. Zanarkand never slept." Never. "That's the name of the city I lived in; a city like Jinnjar, kinda. All that tech, but a lot more water. A lot cooler," he adds. Can't leave that out.

"I lived out in a boat." Lived as a part of the city, but- you know. Details. "I could go wherever I wanted! It was great - I loved it there."

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So Familiar a Gleam: Conclusion

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